A Lifetime to Struggle

Jewels.

One more week had passed since I left. That’s three weeks without seeing Harmony. Easily the worst three weeks of my life. I was beginning to forget her voice; it’s been that long since I’ve seen her. I was beginning to forget what it was like to talk to her one on one, or even just look at her from afar. I was forgetting it all. But I wasn’t forgetting these feelings. I may be forgetting the little things about her, but my feelings were still sure. There was nothing I could do to rid them from myself. I would feel like this forever, and it would only drive me closer to the edge. I’ve already finished Harm’s journal. I’ve read every page, front to back at least twice. There was no doubt in my mind that Harmony was true to me. I knew for a fact that she would make the best girlfriend in the world.
All I have to do is know for sure if I’m ready for that.

“Would you like more coffee sir?” The waitress asked me.
I nodded slowly, still pondering in my thoughts about Harmony. She poured some more black, bitter sweet smelling coffee into my mug, and walked away to attend someone else. I remembered when Harmony was a waitress. She worked at an Apple Bee’s, everything Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday’s. The only day’s me and the rest of the guys would go out to eat. Of course we made sure Harm was our waitress, and of course we made sure it was hell for her. Somehow, she managed to work things out for us in the end without a single problem. I wondered if maybe, when we were younger, if that we were too hard on her. We never treated her as a girl, just one of the guys. Does she even know what it’s like to be treated like a girl?
I felt bad now. She had never gotten jewellery, or perfume from any of us. We always got her sweaters, and books. God, she must have felt let down every year. Suddenly, a strange idea formed in my head. An idea that I enjoyed.
I laid a twenty on the table, before getting up from the booth, and leaving the small diner. I hopped into my car, slipping my sun shades onto my eyes, and drove around the next block or two looking for a particular store. I was about to give up on my idea, when out of the blue, a small local jewellery store appeared. I smiled to myself, although I felt a bit unsure of this place.
I parked across the street, and got out, carefully walking over to the store. I opened the swinging glass door effortlessly, and walked inside. It was a cute small place with red rugs, and glass cases everywhere, filled with expensive jewels of all sorts. I kind of stood in the middle of the store, slowly looking all around me, not knowing where to start, or what I was even looking for.
“Can I help you, sir?” A lady asked, coming out from behind one of the many cases.
“Uhm.. Yeah. I’m looking for something special to give to my—“ I stopped to think about it. To my Harmony? No, that doesn’t sound right. To my sister? Ew, no that’s just weird.
“My girlfriend.” I finished.
The lady nodded while smiling. “Aw, That’s so sweet of you. Is there anything in particular that you’re looking for?”
Is there anything I was really looking for? What does Harmony like? I thought back on one of our many conversations, trying to remember what Harmony had said about jewels. It was vague, but I’m pretty sure she said something about emeralds, rubies and white gold.
“Anything having to do with Rubies, Emeralds, or White Gold.” I replied.
She nodded her head, thinking about something that would catch my eye.
“Oh! I know!” She exclaimed, walking over to a case on the far right hand side of the room. I followed her quickly, feeling a bit excited to see what she thought Harmony would like.
“This is a white gold, heart shaped necklace, with rubies.” She said, before pulling it out, and dangling it in front of my face.
I gawked at it. It was so typical, but yet, so Harmony. I tilted my head, looking at it from all angles.
“It’s a strong indication of love.” She stated.
Love.
I nodded, wanting to reach out and hold it for myself. And as though she read my mind, she offered it to me. I took it gently, and laid it down on the palm of my hand. It really was a beauty.
“What do you think?” She asked.
“I like it. A lot.” I replied.
“Do you want to look at anything else, or would you like this one?” She asked.
“How much?”
“Since we’re closing down next month, we have sales on everything. So about...four hundred and twenty two dollars.” She stated, quickly doing the math in her head.
“I’ll take it.” I said, already pulling out my wallet. The lady smiled, and nodded. We walked over to the till, and quickly rang it in. After I had paid, with every last penny I had owned, she wrapped it up in a small fancy box.
“Good luck.” She said, handing it to me in a small white bag.
“Thanks.” I replied, putting my heart into it. I was proud of myself. Proud that I was going to be the first one to treat Harmony properly. Harmony deserved a lot of things, and this was definitely one of them.
I got into my car, and set the little bag down on the passenger side, and drove my way back to the hotel. I planned on going home tonight. I couldn’t take this anymore. I knew I wanted to be with Harmony, and I couldn’t keep doubting that anymore.
It’s time to get my shit together, and be a man.
I parked my car outside in the parking lot, and quickly jogged inside. I waved to the people at the front desk, and caught the next elevator up to the 22nd floor.
After I had reached there, I walked down to the very end of the hall, and found my room, numbered 143. I grabbed the key card out of my pocket, and slid it into the lock. Once I heard the click, I turned the door knob, and pushed the door open. I wanted to get in and out as fast as I could.
I set the small bag down on the bed carefully, and grabbed my duffle bag. I picked everything I brought, off the floor’s and into the bag. I couldn’t wait to see Harmony’s face. I couldn’t wait to see her. I zipped up the bag quickly, and went to grab the hotel key off the small stand at the front of the door. But it wasn’t there.
“Missing something?” I heard Harmony ask. Wait, Harmony?
I turned to see her standing only five feet away from me, at the foot of the bed.
I wanted so badly to run over there and collect her in my arms, gushing to her about how much I missed her, and that I thought about her every day. But the look on her face kept me from doing so.
“Do you think i’m stupid Brian?” She asked.
“Of course not Harm.” I replied, astounded she would accuse me of that.
“Did you really think I wouldn’t know where you would run off too?” she questioned, sitting down on the bed.
“Honestly, I didn’t think you would know...” I said, setting the duffle bag down on the ground.
“We’ve only talked about you running away about... four hundred times.” She laughed.
I smiled. Her laugh brought the bubbly feeling back to me. The feeling I had missed so much.
“How did you get in here?” I asked, as she stood up, walking over to me.
“I have my ways.” She replied.
I walked closer to her, reaching my arms out to hug her. To have her close to me once again. But she stopped before I could even reach her.
“Don’t think for a second that I’m just going to forget what you did three weeks ago Brian.” She said, her voice sounding a bit angry.
My arm’s dropped to my sides. I should have known...
“Harmony, I- I didn’t—“
“Do you know how worried I was about you? I was freaking out, thinking you could have gotten hurt! Then I started assuming you weren’t ever going to come back to the house, like... like you had just forgotten us, That you wanted nothing to do with us.
And now here you are, out shopping? Do you not even care about what I told you three weeks ago?” She asked, her voice straining.
“Of course!” I exclaimed. “It’s all I’ve been thinking about!” I filled the open gap between us, and put my hands on her shoulders. “ I was scared Harmony. I didn’t... know... What to do. I didn’t know how I felt, or If what I was feeling was normal. I was so over whelmed and frustrated and scared that I left..”
“And you don’t think I was scared?” She asked, arms folding over her chest. “I thought you hated me. That the last thing’s you’d ever heard from me were those exact words, and the last memory you’d have of me was me walking out on you.” Harmony frowned.
I shook my head, pulling her face closer to mine. I closed my eyes, and went for it. Our lips connected, and a spark lit inside me. It fuelled me up, the bubbly feeling in my chest reaching its all time high. Her soft lips, pressed against mine, moved with mine, reacting as though she’s been waiting forever for this to happen.
Harmony wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling us closer together, afraid that there was any space left between us.
I pushed my lips harder on hers, enjoying this one moment of bliss. I never wanted her to leave me; I never wanted to leave her. I wanted to hold her like this forever.
Soon enough though, Harmony had slowly pulled away from me, our lips sticking together quickly before she pursed them.
She looked at me, her eyes round and teary, shaking her head.
“Bri.. I can’t.. We—“ she shook her head, forcing herself away from me, and leaving the room. The door gently closing behind her. I stared at the door, frozen in complete shock.
It was happening all over again.

♠ ♠ ♠

Finally almost, yeah?
Dying to know what you all think. This is my last one til i get internet access, which is probably gonna be tomorrow.
Hope you enjoyed >:D