Sequel: A Past To Repeat Itself ›
Status: Completed!
A Lifetime to Struggle
Break.
“Jimmy, wake up.” I said, barging into his room.
“Whoa, what the fuck is—“
I chucked the phone at him, and it sharply landed on his skinny chest.
“What the fuck is your problem?” He asked.
“My problem? Listen to the fucking voice mail. That’s my fucking problem.” I growled.
Jimmy squinted his blue eyes at me, his face clearly stating he was confused. I urged him to open the phone and listen to the message.
“I don’t know what you’re do—“ The message began to play out loud, and Jimmy gawked at the phone. He brought it closer to his ear, although the message was playing loud and clear.
After the message had ended, Jimmy closed the phone slowly, and kept his head hanging down low.
“Do you see what my problem is?” I asked, venom dripping from each word.
He nodded his head slowly.
“What the fuck is going on Jimmy?” I asked.
He lifted his shoulders, up and then down. “I—I don’t know what to tell you Harm. I—“ His voice was low, soft, just enough to make me break. I fell to the ground tears forming in my eyes. Jimmy was close to grab me, as he hugged me tightly.
“Shh, Harm. We don’t know what exactly it is. Don’t assume things, okay?” Jimmy cooed. I shook my head, and sobbed.
“He has a picture of her, naked.” I cried into his shoulder.
“Maybe she’s just sending them. He’s probably not asking for them. Harm, he’s better than that.” Jimmy stated.
“With his history of girls? God, what was I thinking? Marrying Brian? Brian?! I must be pretty stupid.”
Jimmy hugged my tighter, trying to find all the right words to direct me in a different direction, other than thinking Brian has cheated on me.
“Talk to him. Confront him.” He said. I laughed. Well, as much as a laugh you can do while you’re sobbing.
“And what? What if it’s true?” I asked. Jimmy pursed his lips, and stayed silent. “I fell in love with him Jimmy!” I exclaimed. “I love him, so much. You know that, all of you know that. I can’t just pick up everything and leave him. Especially since we live in the same house, and that we’re engaged. It’s not that simple James.”
Jimmy just nodded his head and kept his arms wrapped tightly around me. I felt him sigh deeply, before he kissed my forehead.
“It’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.” Jimmy cooed.
But he was wrong. I wouldn’t be okay. Nothing will be okay.
The next morning, I found myself sitting down stairs, in my bedroom. I watched Brian’s body sprawled out on my bed as he slept peacefully. I found myself thinking and re-thinking the whole conversation next to come. He would wake up, say good morning to me, smile his gorgeous smile, and ask me how I am. Normally, I’d tell him I’m fine. But I’d be lying. So now’s time to change the whole normal routine. It was almost ten am. Brian would normally sleep until ten thirty, or maybe eleven. But not today.
I picked up the phone out of my pocket, and chucked it at Brian’s head.
“Wake up.” I said. My voice was harsh, almost sharp like a knife.
“What the hell was that for?” He asked, rubbing his head, after his body had jolted from the impact.
“You’re phone went off last night.” I stated.
“Okay... I’m sorry it pissed you off, but was it really necessary for you to throw the thing at my head?” He asked.
“In a normal occasion, probably not. But this isn’t a normal occasion.” I replied.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, clearly confused.
“I heard the lovely voice mail from your girlfriend.” The words were so bold, so clear and in his face. I made sure they could hurt him, like a knife through his chest.
Brian stayed extra quiet, thinking what I said over.
“What the hell are you talking about?” He asked, getting out of the bed.
“Amanda.” I replied.
“Who the fuck is that?” He asked. He picked up his jeans off the floor, and quickly slid them on.
“I was hoping you could tell me.”
Brian shook his head, and chuckled darkly. “I don’t know an Amanda.”
I stood up, and walked over to the bed, picking up the phone and playing the message out loud and clear. Brian watched the phone in my hand. He was practically glaring at it.
As soon as the message finished, I snapped his phone shut and threw it to him.
“Care to explain?” I asked.
“Why the fuck were you even going through my fucking phone?” He growled.
“I don’t think you should be the mad one here Brian.” I retorted, my voice levelling with his.
“That’s going into my private shit.” He stated.
“You went into my private shit, so don’t even start with me.” I growled.
“Look Harmony, Amanda was someone I was with a long time ago. Before we even hooked up.” Brian sighed.
“And that’s why you left her a message, telling her you miss her?” I asked.
“I didn’t do that.” He cut in a little too fast for me to be so sure he was being honest.
“Then what the hell is going on?” I demanded.
Brian stayed silent. He sat down on the bed, and buried his head into his hands.
“I knew it. You’re with her aren’t you?” I asked. I felt myself backing up. I didn’t know where I was going, but I didn’t care. I wanted away from him.
“No!” Brian almost shouted. “No! Of course not! Harm, we’re engaged I would never on you like that!”
“So are you saying you were cheating on me before you asked me to marry you?” I asked.
Brian opened his mouth to say something—Anything that would help me change my mind about him right now.
“What? No. No, baby, I would never cheat on you.” Brian walked over to me, and reached his arms out towards me. “I would never hurt you like that. I love you Harmony, you know I do. Can we just talk about this, please?”
I backed away from him. “No. No Brian. I’m not sure what to think right now okay? This doesn’t make sense at all. God, I should have known what I was getting myself into. I mean, you’re Brian fucking Haner. Your reputation with girls, your personality. I should have known something like this would happen. But I didn’t listen to any of that. I decided to let everything go, and then I fell in love with you, and now look where we are. I can’t do this Brian. I can’t—I can’t think straight, I can’t feel properly, I can’t do anything right now.” I took a deep shuttering breath.
Brian shook his head, choosing to deny every word I said. “Don’t talk like that okay baby? Like you said, you are feeling right, you can’t think straight. Just sit down, calm down, and talk to me.” His eyes were glossy, a sign that he was on the brink of tears. I pushed him away from me, and shook my head.
“Just leave me alone. Please.” I whispered. I found myself walking up the stairs, leaving Brian alone in my room. I couldn’t do this. Not now.
I needed to be alone.
“Whoa, what the fuck is—“
I chucked the phone at him, and it sharply landed on his skinny chest.
“What the fuck is your problem?” He asked.
“My problem? Listen to the fucking voice mail. That’s my fucking problem.” I growled.
Jimmy squinted his blue eyes at me, his face clearly stating he was confused. I urged him to open the phone and listen to the message.
“I don’t know what you’re do—“ The message began to play out loud, and Jimmy gawked at the phone. He brought it closer to his ear, although the message was playing loud and clear.
After the message had ended, Jimmy closed the phone slowly, and kept his head hanging down low.
“Do you see what my problem is?” I asked, venom dripping from each word.
He nodded his head slowly.
“What the fuck is going on Jimmy?” I asked.
He lifted his shoulders, up and then down. “I—I don’t know what to tell you Harm. I—“ His voice was low, soft, just enough to make me break. I fell to the ground tears forming in my eyes. Jimmy was close to grab me, as he hugged me tightly.
“Shh, Harm. We don’t know what exactly it is. Don’t assume things, okay?” Jimmy cooed. I shook my head, and sobbed.
“He has a picture of her, naked.” I cried into his shoulder.
“Maybe she’s just sending them. He’s probably not asking for them. Harm, he’s better than that.” Jimmy stated.
“With his history of girls? God, what was I thinking? Marrying Brian? Brian?! I must be pretty stupid.”
Jimmy hugged my tighter, trying to find all the right words to direct me in a different direction, other than thinking Brian has cheated on me.
“Talk to him. Confront him.” He said. I laughed. Well, as much as a laugh you can do while you’re sobbing.
“And what? What if it’s true?” I asked. Jimmy pursed his lips, and stayed silent. “I fell in love with him Jimmy!” I exclaimed. “I love him, so much. You know that, all of you know that. I can’t just pick up everything and leave him. Especially since we live in the same house, and that we’re engaged. It’s not that simple James.”
Jimmy just nodded his head and kept his arms wrapped tightly around me. I felt him sigh deeply, before he kissed my forehead.
“It’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.” Jimmy cooed.
But he was wrong. I wouldn’t be okay. Nothing will be okay.
The next morning, I found myself sitting down stairs, in my bedroom. I watched Brian’s body sprawled out on my bed as he slept peacefully. I found myself thinking and re-thinking the whole conversation next to come. He would wake up, say good morning to me, smile his gorgeous smile, and ask me how I am. Normally, I’d tell him I’m fine. But I’d be lying. So now’s time to change the whole normal routine. It was almost ten am. Brian would normally sleep until ten thirty, or maybe eleven. But not today.
I picked up the phone out of my pocket, and chucked it at Brian’s head.
“Wake up.” I said. My voice was harsh, almost sharp like a knife.
“What the hell was that for?” He asked, rubbing his head, after his body had jolted from the impact.
“You’re phone went off last night.” I stated.
“Okay... I’m sorry it pissed you off, but was it really necessary for you to throw the thing at my head?” He asked.
“In a normal occasion, probably not. But this isn’t a normal occasion.” I replied.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, clearly confused.
“I heard the lovely voice mail from your girlfriend.” The words were so bold, so clear and in his face. I made sure they could hurt him, like a knife through his chest.
Brian stayed extra quiet, thinking what I said over.
“What the hell are you talking about?” He asked, getting out of the bed.
“Amanda.” I replied.
“Who the fuck is that?” He asked. He picked up his jeans off the floor, and quickly slid them on.
“I was hoping you could tell me.”
Brian shook his head, and chuckled darkly. “I don’t know an Amanda.”
I stood up, and walked over to the bed, picking up the phone and playing the message out loud and clear. Brian watched the phone in my hand. He was practically glaring at it.
As soon as the message finished, I snapped his phone shut and threw it to him.
“Care to explain?” I asked.
“Why the fuck were you even going through my fucking phone?” He growled.
“I don’t think you should be the mad one here Brian.” I retorted, my voice levelling with his.
“That’s going into my private shit.” He stated.
“You went into my private shit, so don’t even start with me.” I growled.
“Look Harmony, Amanda was someone I was with a long time ago. Before we even hooked up.” Brian sighed.
“And that’s why you left her a message, telling her you miss her?” I asked.
“I didn’t do that.” He cut in a little too fast for me to be so sure he was being honest.
“Then what the hell is going on?” I demanded.
Brian stayed silent. He sat down on the bed, and buried his head into his hands.
“I knew it. You’re with her aren’t you?” I asked. I felt myself backing up. I didn’t know where I was going, but I didn’t care. I wanted away from him.
“No!” Brian almost shouted. “No! Of course not! Harm, we’re engaged I would never on you like that!”
“So are you saying you were cheating on me before you asked me to marry you?” I asked.
Brian opened his mouth to say something—Anything that would help me change my mind about him right now.
“What? No. No, baby, I would never cheat on you.” Brian walked over to me, and reached his arms out towards me. “I would never hurt you like that. I love you Harmony, you know I do. Can we just talk about this, please?”
I backed away from him. “No. No Brian. I’m not sure what to think right now okay? This doesn’t make sense at all. God, I should have known what I was getting myself into. I mean, you’re Brian fucking Haner. Your reputation with girls, your personality. I should have known something like this would happen. But I didn’t listen to any of that. I decided to let everything go, and then I fell in love with you, and now look where we are. I can’t do this Brian. I can’t—I can’t think straight, I can’t feel properly, I can’t do anything right now.” I took a deep shuttering breath.
Brian shook his head, choosing to deny every word I said. “Don’t talk like that okay baby? Like you said, you are feeling right, you can’t think straight. Just sit down, calm down, and talk to me.” His eyes were glossy, a sign that he was on the brink of tears. I pushed him away from me, and shook my head.
“Just leave me alone. Please.” I whispered. I found myself walking up the stairs, leaving Brian alone in my room. I couldn’t do this. Not now.
I needed to be alone.
♠ ♠ ♠
ANNOUNCEMENT.So, I really hate to say this, but a few more chapters (not sure how many), and this story is over! Don't cry though! There WILL be a sequel! I need someone to make me a brand new layout, if anyone feels up to it! it will be greatly appreciated :D
No layout, no sequel. Does that sound a little to harsh?
Well, comment, and subscribe!