A Lifetime to Struggle

Nothing.

“You don’t have to do this, Harmony.” Jimmy said as he pulled up to the house.
“You don’t understand Jimmy.” I replied. “I don’t trust him anymore.”
“Do you have any idea what’s going to happen?” Jimmy asked. Jimmy wasn’t happy with me. I told him what I was here to do, and he didn’t like it one bit. He kept trying to convince me that things would work themselves out, and that I could be happy, but I wouldn’t listen. I need to start doing things for myself, and myself needs this.
“Of course I have no idea.” I replied. “No one ever knows what’s gonna happen.”
“What about Matt?” he asked.
“What about him?”
Jimmy stayed silent and pursed his lips. He shook his head, wanting to speak, but he knew there was no point. I had finally won this one.
“He’s not home, right?” I asked. Jimmy silently shook his head.
“No, he went for a walk. You have an hour.” He replied.
I nodded, and got out of the car. I barged into the house, coming face to face with Johnny. His expression was hurt, his eyes glossy. I felt my heart cripple.
“You’re—“
“Yes.” I replied.
“You can’t though...” Johnny sniffled.
I was going to apologize, but I found no reason too. Why should I be sorry? I didn’t do anything. I was faithful this whole time, and Brian wasn’t.

I pushed past Johnny, but he was quick to be following me.
“You’re my best friend Harmony.” He said. I stopped and turned around to face him. Tears rolled down his face, but he wiped the evidence away. Tough guys don’t cry. Not in this house.
I threw my arms around Johnny and squeezed him tightly. “I’m so sorry. I love you.” I said in his ear. He didn’t hesitate to hug me back just as tightly.
“I love you too kid.” He replied. I let go of him, tears forming in my eyes. I opened up my bedroom door, and jumped down the stairs. Jimmy followed me in soon after, with garbage bags and boxes in his hands.
“Please, don’t do this Harm.” Jimmy begged. It was too late though. My mind was made up. I’m doing this, and there’s no going back.
I grabbed a box from Jimmy, and started throwing all my clothes in.
“You haven’t even talked to him!”
“I don’t need to James!” I exclaimed. “I lost my trust in him. A relationship with no trust is no relationship at all.”
Jimmy sat on my bed, and put his face in his hands, just like Brian had done earlier.
“What about us?” He asked. “You’re just going to leave us here?”
I nodded my head. “I’m sorry.”
“Bullshit.” Jimmy spat. I felt taken back by his reaction. Was he angry with me?
“We have been friends forever Harmony. I can’t remember my life before we met. You’re my best friend, and I’m yours. We need each other!” Jimmy looked up at me, his blue eyes darker than ever.
I shook my head, not able to find the words I wanted to say. I wanted to let him know he’d be okay without me. He has everything he wants in life now. It’s time for me to leave. I’ve done my part. I’ve seen it all.

He jumped off my bed, and booked it up the stairs. More tears started to flood my eyes. I closed up the one box, and started on another. I threw my books, papers, and other random objects, before closing that one up too. I heard footsteps coming down my stairs, though I didn’t look to see who it was.
“You really are leaving.” I looked up to see Matt standing there, his arms folded over his chest.
“Yeah.” I stated.
“I thought it would have been a few more months before you found out.” He said darkly. My body froze, and my heart sank into my stomach.
“You knew?” I asked.
“Of all people.” He replied, shaking his head.
I found some strength left in me to rip off some photo’s off the walls, and put them in my photo album.
“What a great brother.” I spat.
“I didn’t believe it.” He came down the stairs slowly, watching my every move with such an intense look.
“You should have told me, Mattie.” I said.
“I wanted too.” He whispered. “You were just... so happy.” Matt pulled my arm back, and turned my whole body around so I was looking at him.
“Now look at me.” I cried. He closed his arms around me and hugged me.
“I’m so sorry.” He cooed. I cried into his chest. I let everything out. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. The feelings were piling on top of each other, setting me over the edge.
“I called mom, I told her you were going to spend a few weeks out there, okay?” Matt said. I nodded my head. I was planning on going there anyways.
“I’ll bring your boxes out.” He let go of me, and picked up the two boxes I had already packed. I saw that Matt was on the verge of crying, but I knew he wouldn’t do it. He’s the toughest guy in this house and that’s the way he wants to keep it.

I had almost finished packing up the things I needed most in my room. Clothes, books, pictures. I was about to pull some more pictures off the ceiling, but I heard the front door open and close.
“Harmony?” Brian’s voice called out to me.
I picked up a few more remaining articles, and stuffed them into my bag. I slowly climbed up the stairs, giving my room one last look. Emotions of all kind waved over me, setting me on the edge once more. I turned around, and finished walking up the stairs and into the kitchen. I slowly walked out of the kitchen, memories flashing before me. One from when we all moved into this house together. It was the first day the boys were going to record ‘City Of Evil’. Brian had ended up getting to close to me, and I felt uncomfortable. Realizing now that the awkwardness of that day was intended on Brian’s part. It was the beginning of everything.
The everything that soon became Nothing.

♠ ♠ ♠

I have decided the next one is the last one.
WOO!