I Wanna Feel Weightless

"Dude, Glee is actually a good show." Alex said walking into the living room. I was following right behind him. The living room was really nice. It had an off white color and black leather couches with a BIG TV up ageist the back wall

"This girl has weird yet fantastic taste in shows." Jack said. He was sitting on the couch, he must have come over. I sat down next to him on the couch.

"Miss me buddy?" I asked

"Oh yeah, that's really the only reason I came over." Jack said

"See now I thought it was so that we would feed you." Rian said

"That too." Jack said

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"Let's watch the hangover." Alex said and got a DVD from a cabinet

"I love that movie." I said hopping up on the couch.

"Sit down Carlin!" Rian said

"Sorry mom." I said and sat back down

"I want pasta for dinner." Jack said

"I'll make it." I said

"No, we can do it." Rian said

"No I want to." I said

"Alright." he said and sat down on the couch while I went to go into the kitchen. It was pretty well stocked. I got some tomatoes, garlic, onions, and other things I would need to make some fresh spaghetti sauce.

We watched the movie, we laughed and I cooked. It was a good thing that I could see the TV screen from the kitchen because the Hangover was one of my favorite movies. Alan was fucking hilarious. I almost cut off my finger four times laughing at what he said.

When I was putting the food onto plates my cell phone rang. The caller I.D. said that it was mom.

I walked into the hallway where no one could see me. I could hear them turn the TV volume down.

"Hello?" I answered surprised.

Carlin? My mom answered. She was slurring her words, she must have been drunk.

"Mom is that you?"

You're a bitch.

"What?"

It's you're fault that Amy died if you didn't chase after her…

"But-" I said my voice cracking, how could my mom say that.

Oh yeah yeah I've heard it before your leg was broken. But really you just didn't care enough.

I tried to hold the tears in my eyes, I had already cried in front of these people. Never again.

You took Amy away from us now your off having fun while she's DEAD! my mom said and then I heard my brother in the background

Mom STOP! he said and the line went dead.

"Carlin what is it?" Alex said touching my upper arm. I ran to my room. I started to throw the things that I had taken out of my bag back in.

"What are you doing?" Alex asked. He was now in the door way.

"I have to go home." I said my voice cracking while zipping my bag closed

"No, go home to what?" Alex said

"Just home." I said

"I don't care what your mom said, you deserve to be happy." Alex said

"No, I don't I could have helped Amy if I had just…" I said

"No, stop Carlin." He said and pulled him into a hug. The tears went over the edge.

"Crap." I said

"What?" Alex asked his cheek on the top of my head.

"I'm crying again." I said though my tears.

"It's okay" he said. That just made me cry more.

"What happened?" he asked and rubbed my back with his hand.

"My mom called, she was drunk. She said that- that it was my fault Amy's going, that I'm selfish to be happy." I said

Alex pulled away to look me in the eye. "It is not your fault, when my brother Drew died, I thought it was my fault. I forced myself to be unhappy and do you know what?" he asked

"What?" I said and looked at him.

"It was the worst thing I ever did to myself. And yah, I miss my brother, but now I realize that it wasn't my fault." he said and pulled my face back into his chest. I took a deep breath.

"So your not going back?" Alex asked

"No, I guess it wouldn't help." I said and pulled back. I walked into the bathroom to splash my face with cool water. When I got back into my room Alex was still in my room, laying on the bed.

"Sorry" I said.

"For what?" Alex asked still staring at the ceiling.

"For crying, for brining on all this baggage." I said

"Carlin…" he said but then there was a knock at my door.

"Come on in!" I said and Jack opened the door. He assessed the situation and I smiled at him letting him know that everything was okay.

"Can we eat now? I'm really hungry and the food looks really good!" he said and I nodded.

"Yay! Come on!" he said. I started to walk but apparently I wasn't fast enough for him because he grabbed my waist and half carried me back into the dining room.

"JACKYKINS! PUT ME DOWN!" I said laughing and he set me down in a chair, he took the one next to me and everyone else sat down. By that time Jack was already halfway done with his food.

We all ate and it was so funny to watch Jack eat, no not eat SLURP spaghetti; effectively getting tomato sauce on the back of his neck. Don't ask me how it just happened. We all laughed and chatted and I had sort of forgotten about what my mom had said.

When dinner was over I started to do the dishes but Alex and Rian came in.

"Here Let me do the dishes!" Alex said

"Oh but you never help me!" Rian said and stomped out of the room.

I laughed at that and said, "how about you wash and I'll dry?" I asked.

"Sure" he said. As soon as we were finished Jack bounded in and went straight for the freezer.

"YOU HAVE NO ICE CREAM?" he yelled

"No…" Alex said

"WE NEED TO FIX THIS!" Jack said

"Let's walk to the Dairy Queen" Rian said coming into view.

"YAY!" Blizzards!" Jack said and ran out the door.

"Fucking bottomless pit." I mumbled and Alex burst out laughing. Everyone too excited for ice cream, they didn't notice.

"Hey man what can I get you!" the guy behind the counter said.

"Umm I'll have four large blizzards, one Reese's." Alex said

"One M&M" Jack said

"One Health." Rian said

"and…" I said

"hold on! Lemme guess! You seem like the double fudge cookie dough type of girl." Alex said naming my favorite flavor.

"How did you know? But I don't think I could finish a large." I said

"Of course you can." Alex said handing the guy some money.

"Thank you Mr. Gaskarth" I said as he handed me my blizzard.

"Your welcome Ms. O'Conners." Alex said, "Wow, your really Irish."

"No shit Sherlock and your really British Alexander William." I said back

We walked back to Rian and Alex's house. Jack went home and Rian Alex and I stepped inside. I popped down on the couch and moaned.

"Too much ice cream!" I said this was WAY too much. I told Alex I couldn't finish it.

"No I believe in you! You have to do this or… or I'll um… sit on you?" he said

"That was the best you could come up with?" Rian asked

"No! I got it, you will have to have the bunk below Jack and you will hear what he does all night." Alex said. He looked so proud. I shoved more ice cream in my mouth. I had to lick my lips. I yawned.

"Bed time?" Rian asked

"No ice cream time!" I said and shoved more into my mouth.

"dude, your going to kill the poor thing." I put another spoonful in my mouth and swallowed, and that was the last thing I remembered.

"CARLYKINS!" Jack screamed. I moaned.

"Jack, stop noooo!" I said my eye still closed. I wanted to sleep more. I then felt something moist in my ear.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" I said I grabbed Jack shirt to wipe his saliva out of my ear. That was disgusting.

"I'll do it again if you don't come downstairs." He said.

"Okay! Okay! I'm up, just lemme change out of my jeans." I said I could feel the marks that they had left because I had slept in them. I was in my room. Huh! I guess someone put me in here.

"Alright, I'm going to be downstairs, you have five minutes or I'm coming back up." Jack said and I nodded.

I quickly changed into some of Derek's sweat pants which I may have stolen. I padded down the stairs in my socks.

When I walked into the room Zack snickered.

"What?" I asked. I wasn't very friendly before my first cup of coffee.

"Your hair is a fucking rats nest." he said

"deal." I said and Rian handed me a cup of coffee. I gave him a toothy cup of coffee and sat down next to Jack, he turned to me. I flinched. I didn't want another tongue in my ear.

"Jack what did I say about sticking tongues in people's ears?" Alex said

"This is a regular thing?" I asked and Alex nodded. Rian put a plate of chocolate chip pancakes in front of me.

"Why thank you!" I said and dug in. They were so good.

"OhMyGod." I said in one breath. "These are amazing." I said

"Thank you." Rian said and started cleaning up.

"So what's the plan for today?" I asked as I finished up the god like pancakes.

"All of our parents want to meet you." Alex said

I gulped. "Why?" I said

"Because they want to get to know you." Rian said "Don't worry they don't bite."

"I have to get ready." I said and ran up the stairs. I turned on the shower. I hated meeting parents. After the first meeting they loved me but the first time I was always so worried.

I showered and blew dry my hair until it was pin straight. I fixed my bangs and put on some of my nice gray skinny jeans. I found one of my nice black shirts. I put on black boots (no heels of course) I put on smokey eye make- up and I was all ready. I looked in the mirror and smiled. I loved looking adult. It got me drinks at bars and people treated me different then my friends who really looked fifteen.

I walked down the stairs with my jacket in my hand. It was just about lunch time.

"Just in time." Alex said and opened the door for me. It was snowing. I smiled to my self I loved the snow. I put on my jacket and got into Alex's car with Alex. Zack, Rian and Jack got into Rian's car.

Alex had a really nice car. It was a black range rover with black leather lining. So mysterious.

"Nice car." I said

"Thanks." He said

"Where are we going?" I asked

"My parents favorite restaurant." He said. We drove for about ten minutes and we were at a nice looking restaurant. We parked right next to Rian's car. They were just getting out of the car.

We all walked into the restaurant.

"Hello Mr. Gaskarth." the hostess said. "Just this way everyone is already here."

"Thanks Sally." Alex said and he followed the hostess to a table with four couples sitting at it and five empty seats. It was a really big circular table.

"Hello Boys." the dark hair woman with the English accent said. She stood up kissed Alex's cheek and sat down.

"Hi Mom, Dad." he said and shook his father's hand.

"This is Carlin O'Conner's our new member." he said and I shook everyone's hand. I found out whose parents were whose and I sat down. Everyone seemed nice. Maybe this wouldn't be such a bad meal after all.