I'll Always Be With You.

**GERARD’S POV**

The whole entire time though out our concert, I had worried about her.

I felt like I had betrayed her.

I could see the pain in her eyes once she had ran out that door, but I couldn’t understand why?

Why was she so angry at me for?
What had I done?
Had I upset with my words?
Was she upset with me for confessing I loved her?
Whatever it was, I didn’t understand.

We hadn’t had enough time to go look for her, by the time she had ran out the door we had to drive up to New York for our show.

I argued with myself which was more important.

Her or the show.

The millions of fans, who commit themselves to us.
The millions of fans, who listen to us when they weren’t okay.
The millions of fans, who we dedicated our very lives too.

It was a hard choice, but I knew she would be back.

I just hadn’t expected to see her on my porch step when I got back.

I quickly hopped out off the car and ran towards her.

She didn’t even glance up or flinch as I put my arm around her shoulder in a friendly type way.

But I wanted so more then that, but I had to be patient.

She sat there, knees up to her chest, head on knees and eyes on the ground.

Everyone else piled out of the car, they ignored us, knowing that we needed out time after I had explained the situation.

“Chantelle? Chantelle? Are you okay? Do you want to go inside?” I sighed after getting no response.

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to say whatever had offended you, please forgive me.” I continued to babble on after no response.

“Say something at least!” I pleaded.

She sat there, motionless. It looked as if she weren’t even breathing.

I sighed before continuing. “You know throughout the whole entire concert I was worrying about you,” I chuckled lightly “Wondering if you were okay, where you were, I really did want to come and find you, but I just couldn’t cancel…On all the fans of course.”

“And I’m pretty sure that is why you’re not answering me…” I looked up to see her reaction.

She didn’t even flinch, nothing.

“I know that you must have been confused, when I was talking about a baby?” I looked up again to see her expression.

Nothing, her gaze was set straight ahead.

“Well the thing is…I really don’t know how to explain it, I-we, when we were going out in high school, just after our prom. We sort of uh-did, I think you understand what I’m saying, I didn’t tell you this before because I thought that you might be a bit…Upset, about what had happened. The night before Christmas I sort of...proposed to you, don’t ask me why it was pretty stupid, because in the end you left. You had left because on the same night I proposed to you, your father,” I forced the word to come out of my mouth “Attacked Mikey, then he threatened you to leave New Jersey.” I paused, tears already building up in my eyes.

“That same night just after you left, I was the happiest man alive…I was ecstatic you said yes. Then the next day you called me up, crying-No, sobbing…Pleading me to meet you at the same beach I proposed to you at, you’re favorite beach. I met you there a-and…” My voice broke down into sobs “You told me you were leaving New Jersey.”

“I was shocked, appalled, angry, furious…I was just so angry with you’re father,” The word made me cringe “I hated him, I wanted you back so badly, I don’t know if the guys told you or not but around last year or so before every show I would get pissed, on either drugs or booze or even both sometimes. I missed you so bad, I felt as if I had died and was living in hell.”

“Then I met Eliza, she really did help me, I became sober because of her, and I thank her each day for that, but then I remembered what her and her sister did to you in high school and from then on we just seemed to be more…apart. Not long ago she told me she was pregnant, I was surprised, I mean after all we had always used protection…But I’m pretty sure you don’t want to know about my sex life. Anyway, Eliza had always been there for me, she was a real big help, she was like a substitute for you, just not as good.”

“Then you turned up,” The darkness just seemed to lighten up when I said this “I just couldn’t stay away from you, you were like my brand of heroin, and we spend nearly every second together. I was so happy to have you back, I felt as if we were back in high school, not having a care what anyone thought of us, but I was just so…Stubborn that I wanted you all to myself, I forgot that anyone else existed in the world, but you always seemed to remind me when you would push me away when I would try to get close to you. I just wanted you so bad.”

“But then this happened, you forgot everything, everything that had happened. You forgot anything to do with me and I...” I paused, I looked up at her.

She hadn’t moved,

Was she even paying attention to anything I had said?
Maybe it was because she still hated me…

“I love you Chantelle, I know that you may hate me, but you can hate me, I don’t care because no matter what I will love you, whether you say you never want to never see me again or if for some stupid reason the world ended I will still love you or if you get married to some guy, I will still love you. Of course I will be jealous of him, that he got you but after everything I have put you through you do deserve better, but yet I don’t want you to leave, I don’t want you to hate me, because that makes me fall more in love with you.”

“And I mean this forever Chantelle, that no matter what I will love you.”

I looked towards her again, I couldn’t tell if she had even moved, but I noticed that her fists were clenched as if she was trying to hold something in.

“Chantelle,” I begged “Please say something, anything, you can slap me if you want or kick me just please, please say something, I need you to say something.”

I sighed, after getting no response.

“I am truly, deeply and gravely sorry for anything that I have said if you want I will get down on my knees and beg for your forgiveness if that’s what you want.” I continued.

So that’s what I did I got down in front of her on the walk-way on my knees and looked into her eyes, that were staring straight through me as if I wasn’t there.

I took both her hands in mine.

I was about to speak but she spoke first.

“Gerard?” She spoke, looking into my eyes.

“Yes.” I whispered.

“Can I tell you something?” She asked, keeping her gaze.

“Anything.”

“I remember.” She whispered, still looking into my eyes.

“What do you mean you remember?” I questioned confused.

“I remember everything.” She whispered, looking away from my stare.

My hands went limp.
My face went pale.
My jaw dropped.
My heart stopped beating.

She remembered?