I'll Always Be With You.

The whole time Gerard was re-explaining my life story, that I now remembered, I thought about the accident.

The accident that put Gerard through all of that.

He had given up his wedding for me.

For me!

What was so important about me?

He was a rock star, living his dream.

And me, I had nothing.

The whole time Gerard was re-explaining my life story, I would see him glance over towards me, but I stared straight ahead listening to every word he was saying.

“…But then this happened, you forgot everything, everything that had happened. You forgot anything to do with me and I...” He paused, and looked back over to me.

I stayed perfectly still, almost as if I wasn’t breathing.

Then he said the words I had been waiting for him to say.

The words that made my knees weak.
The words that made my heart beat faster.
The words I knew he meant from his heart.
The words I knew wouldn’t last forever…

“I love you Chantelle, I know that you may hate me, but you can hate me, I don’t care because no matter what I will love you, whether you say you never want to never see me again or if for some stupid reason the world ended I will still love you or if you get married to some guy, I will still love you. Of course I will be jealous of him, that he got you but after everything I have put you through you do deserve better, but yet I don’t want you to leave, I don’t want you to hate me, because that makes me fall more in love with you.”

“And I mean this forever Chantelle, that no matter what I will love you.”

I clenched my fist.

I didn’t want him to love me.

I wanted him to be happy.

Not with someone like me who was putting him and his family and friends at risk.

But how could I not?

I had loved him from the time I knew what love was.

Of course we had our ups and downs, but that’s why we loved each other right?...

Or was it lust?

I hadn’t even noticed that he was now down in front of me on his knees, my hands in his.

I spoke the only words I could get out of my mouth.

“Gerard?” I looked up to meet his eyes for the first time.

Those honey, hazel orbs boring into my eyes.

You could just melt into them.

“Yes.” He whispered.

“Can I tell you something?” I asked, keeping a firm gaze.

“Anything.” He breathlessly replied.

“I remember.” I simply informed him.

“What do you mean you remember?” He looked confused.

“I remember everything.” I replied, I couldn’t stand staring at him any longer.

His eyes now looked…Shocked and betrayed?

I looked back up to see his jaw dropped.

“Gerard?”

“Y-You remember.” His eyes furious now.

But with who?

“Y-Yes…” I trailed off. “You aren’t angry with me, are you?” I twiddled my thumbs.

I looked back up to see his expression had softened.

“No, of course not. I just…I’m just surprised that’s all.” He flashed a quick smile, but I could read right through him.

“You want to know who it was, don’t you?” I read his mind.

“Well, yeah, but…” He sighed. “But if you don’t want to tell me, I can wait.” He assured.

That came to me as a shock.

He was usually the type to carry on until he got the information he wanted.

“I can wait forever if you want.” He said sheepishly.

“Gerard…” I whispered.

“Yes?”

“You really love me don’t you?” It wasn’t meant to be a question, because I already knew the answer.

“You can take love by the hands and multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of the forever and you still only have a glimpse of how I feel for you.” He flashed a toothy grin.

Those words meant a lot to me, but the words I was about to say were about to break his heart.

“Gerard…” I looked down.

“What’s matter?” He caressed the sides of my cheek, with his warm hand.

“There’s something I need to tell you…” I trailed off.