How Do I Live Without the Ones I Love?

I hate this, I hate leaving my son, not knowing if he's going to be okay. I walked back to where I knew he wouldn't see me and I watched as he walked in the direction of Matt and Val's, I sighed and walked back to the little apartment I've been living in. She's dating Uncle Brian.. I hated hearing those words, I knew there was always something going on between those two, I thought it was just a little rivalry, not a relationship. Brian knew how I felt about Katie, I thought maybe he'd respect that. I walked in the door and threw my stuff on the counter, I can't wait until all this shit is over and I can go back to having my old life.
I sat down on the couch and turned the t.v. on, "What're you doing Jim?" I jumped slightly and looked to see Jordan, a friend of mine, "Nothing, watching this lame ass show, why?" He laughed, "You still want your old life back, don't you?" I sighed, "I have a son, he's nine years old, almost ten..he was born three days before I died..Jordan, I need to get back to that life before I lose it completely." He looked at me, "You need to work that out with the boss, you have a lot of money that you owe him Jimmy, if you aren't careful enough with your son he'll go after him next..he's already tried going after Kate."
I looked down, "You don't know how hard it is. Those two were my whole life and then when you told me he was going to kill them both if I didn't do something to pay him back, I didn't know what to do." He was about to say something when his phone went off, he looked at it, "Shit..Jimmy..why didn't you leave your son out of this?! The boss has him, he wants to see you..now." I got up and followed him out of the apartment and we walked to the warehouse where our boss was, we walked in, "Dad?" I looked to see Xavier sitting behind a drumset that the boss always had set up there, "Hey little man, what're you doing?" He smiled, "These guys came and asked if I wanted to spend time with my dad and I said yeah and they brought me here."
I sighed quietly, "What about your mom?" The smile fell from his face, "She's staying at Uncle Brian's tonight, I was supposed to stay with Uncle Matt and Aunt Val, but I didn't want to. I'd rather be here with you.." I felt like my heart was ripped out, she was staying at Brians?! And leaving Xavier with Matt so she could go with him?! One of the lackies walked over to me, "Sullivan, boss wants you," I nodded and looked at Xavier, "Hey bud? Stay here with my friend Jordan, alright?" He nodded at me, I looked at Jordan, "Watch him like a fucking hawk." He nodded and I walked with the guy to the main office, I knocked and walked in, "You wanted to see me?" He smiled, "Your boy's just like you." I looked down, "Hopefully he's smarter than me..he shouldn't get pulled into this life. That's why I left, so I could pay you back without them getting hurt, why's he here?"
He laughed, "You don't think we're going to hurt him, do you? You haven't done anything wrong that would cause us to hurt him, or anyone you love for that matter. Think of this as a bit of a reward for being so loyal to us for so long, soon you will be going back to your old life and be able to be with your loved ones all the time." I smiled, "This isn't a joke, right? I can really go back to my old life? You aren't fucking with me?" He shook his head, "As long as you stay loyal to us, we're even. You leave, don't come back. Raise your son and be with your girl, in case you haven't noticed, I have a bit of a soft spot for him for some reason, maybe because he reminds me so much of a young version of you, take care of him."
I smiled and nodded, "I will, I won't make the same mistakes twice." He nodded, "Better not, I only give one second chance and this is yours." I nodded again and thanked him and walked out of the room and down to see Xavier playing the drums, he stopped and Jordan looked at him, "Holy shit! You're as good as your dad!" I laughed and walked over behind Xavier and put my hand on his shoulder, "He's got it in his jeans. Once life goes back to normal, I promise I can teach you some more. Come on, let's go to my apartment." We walked out and down the street to the building, we got in and he looked around, "Why do you live here?" I sighed, "To keep a low profile, I can't live in a huge, nice, expensive apartment like you and mom do."

He nodded, "But dad, you can come home and live with me and mom again, soon, right?" I smiled and nodded, "Hopefully. I miss you guys so much, you have no idea. Living without you two here, it's hell." He smiled and looked at me, "Can we do something fun dad?" I thought and nodded, "Why don't we go down to the storage room, I have something down there we can do." We got up and walked out and walked to the gate, I unlocked it and walked in, I looked back at Xavier's face, there was a huge smile, "Dad? Can you teach me some more?" I laughed, "Yeah, come here." I spent the rest of the night showing Xavier how to play some of the bands songs that he didn't already know, I've missed this so much...