Changing on the Fly
Smile
3 Years Later October 18, 2012
“Be careful tonight, Ciara.” Natalie told me as I was waiting for Sid to leave for tonight’s game against the Flyers, the first one since the very physical playoff series last year.
“Always am.” I smiled at her. She and her sister had grown up so much in the past 3 years. I feel like it was just yesterday they were flower girls at my wedding when in reality it was two years ago.
“Just wanted to make sure.” She said her voice shaky.
“Nat is everything ok?” I asked now worried about her.
“I just have a bad feeling.” She sad look at me in the eyes, hers were full of fear. Fiona and Sid came down the stairs before I could figure out why she was so afraid, however I did notice Fiona’s eyes held the same fear.
“Be careful.” Nat told Sid as Fiona told me.
“We will.” Sid spoke for the both of us before giving me a worried look that said he had the same conversation with Fiona as I did with Natalie.
“You guys do know how much we love you, right?” I asked trying to make them less fearful. They both nodded. “Good.”
“We love you guys too.” The girls looked at both of us. “Good luck tonight, make sure you behave at the game.” I said with a smile because I knew they wouldn’t do anything but watch the game.
“Always do.” Nat said with a laugh.
“Goodbye, I love you two.” I said as I hugged and kissed both on the cheek with Sidney doing the same.
87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*
“This game is defiantly a carryover from last year’s post season series.” The color commentator said.
“It is absolutely brutal, Jon, I think it is worse than post season.” Jack told him honestly as they and whoever else was watching cringed at every hit that took place. There was twice the amount of blood splattered across the ice than normal.
Finally the horn sounded signaling the end of the first period. Both locker rooms were clearly pissed off and wanted to go kick the shit out of the other. Coaches tried to reign in their players but once the 2nd period started you could see how useless that was.
“Hartmann steals the pick, and she is on a breakaway as Giroux and Hartnell follow close behind her. She shoots, she scores.” The announcer says as the goalie trips up Ciara causing her to fly into the wall head first. As both Giroux and Hartnell slam into her.
Chris Stewart the trainer quickly ran onto the ice as soon as he noticed that Ciara wasn’t moving once the two Flyers got off of her. Once he got to her he immediately called for the paramedics. At this every single person in the arena went completely quiet as they watched as Ciara still hasn’t moved.
Sidney tried to fight through his teammates in order to check on his wife, but they held him back, in order to let the paramedics do their job. Time seemed to have stopped for Sid, Matt, Natalie, and Fiona as they watched Ciara lie there motionless. This was the exact thing the girls were freaked out about before the game.
The announcers sat stunned as the people at home sat watching commercials wondering what had happened. Another paramedic brought out a stretcher as Ciara was lifted off the ice and put onto it. But what shocked every single person in the crowd was the sheet that was pulled over Ciara’s heard.
At this the teammates hands that were holding Sidney dropped their hands and he immediately skated over to the stretcher where the paramedics were wheeling Ciara off the ice.
“Ciara!” Sidney yelled grabbing her hand as it fell off the stretcher lifeless.
“Sorry Sid, she’s gone.” Stewart told him.
“No, no she can’t be, she is too young to be just gone.” He yelled as the trainer tried to pull him away, but Sid would have none of that as he pulled back the sheet to see Ciara’s face so empty of emotion of any kind. “Why aren’t you guys doing anything for her?” Sid screamed as tears streamed down his face.
“Sid her neck broke, she died instantly there was nothing we could do.” One of the paramedics said.
“She can’t be gone, without her I am nothing.” Sid sobbed as he kissed her mouth.
“I am so sorry Sid.” The paramedic told him.
At this point everybody knew that Ciara Crosby-Hartmann was dead, players, fans, coaches, stared in disbelief or started to cry. Matt, Fiona and Natalie ran down to the locker room. Nobody knew what to do. Finally the paramedics finished taking Ciara off the ice with Sid still grasping Ciara’s hand as if it was a life line.
The refs huddled over by the penalty box talking to Bettman about what should happen next, since they have never dealt with anything like this before. Both teams knew they were in no shape to play the rest of the game.
For the people watching at home, the network finally brought it back to the broadcast. “This is a very sad day.” Jon said not really knowing what to say. “Ciara Crosby-Hartmann, has been taken of the ice on a stretcher with a sheet over her body.”
“We just got the news that her neck broke and she died instantly.” Jack said reading off the teleprompter.
“It looks like the Flyers Captain is going over to talk to the ref. What it is about I don’t know.”
“This is not a good time.” The head ref told Pronger.
“I know, I just wanted to let you know we have decided to forfeit the game, none of us want to or can play right now after what happened.” He told the ref honestly.
“Alright” the ref said relaying the information over to Bettman.
“Wait, it looks like they are calling the game, which should really be the only choice but we will have to wait and see.
“Attention, the Philadelphia Flyers have forfeited this game due to the passing of Ciara Crosby-Hartmann.” The arena announcer said sullenly.
87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87
Matt’s POV
Once I saw the hit I knew Ciara was hurt. Natalie and Fiona knew too as the stood right next to me watching as the paramedics came out on the ice to work on her, but once the sheet covered Ciara’s head all three of us bolted down to the locker room.
When we finally got there Sid was sitting in the locker room with the stretcher next to him still holding Ciara’s hand. He looked up at us as soon as we walked in his eyes red and puffy. “Is she really…?”Fiona asked not able to finish the question. Sid just nodded, which caused all of us to break down. The girls went over to Sid well I just dropped to my knees on the other side of Ciara.
We sat there in silence for a few minutes until the paramedics came in to take Ciara’s body away. A couple moments later the team slowly and sullenly walked through the door taking a glance at Sid and the girls before Ciara’s locker and then heading to their own locker.
Nobody said anything or made any movement to change out of there, they would just glance at Ciara’s locker expecting her to be there but every time there heart fell. All of a sudden a laugh came from Sid and the girls. I looked over to them and noticed they were at Ciara’s locker looking at a picture I took when they were hyped up on sugar.
“This is my favorite memory of Ciara.” Fiona said with a small smile.
Flashback
“Ciara can we have an Icee?” Natalie asked Ciara as they walked through Target.
“Sure, medium sound good?” Ciara asked as they headed over to Food Ave.
“Of course.” Nat said surprised Ciara even offered for a medium and not a small.
“Unfortunately we are out of medium cups, so you will pay for the medium but get a large.” The Target employee said nicely.
“Sounds good to me.” Ciara said knowing the girls will enjoy the nice treat as well as Sid and Fiona. Natalie and Ciara met Sid after they checked out, but they had 4 bags of cotton candy.
“What’s that you have?” Sid asked nodding towards the Icee in Ciara’s hand.
“I thought all of us deserved a little treat.” Ciara said as Sid just laughed.
“I thought the same thing.” Sid told her gesturing toward the cotton candy.
“Well if we are going against are diets today we might as well go big or go home.” Ciara said smiling.
“I love this idea.” Fiona yelled.
“The only thing that would make this day better would be building a fort.” Natalie said as her sister agreed.
“Then fort building we shall do.” Sid said taking a big sip of his Icee before driving home.
“Let’s play save the princess!” Fiona yelled as soon as the fort was built.
“Ciara you’re the princess, Sid’s the knight in shining armor and Natalie and I are the dragons.” Natalie sang all of them high on sugar. They played for a half hour until Sid beat the ‘dragons’ by tickling them.
“Well my princess, you are saved, what will your knight get in return?” Sid asked Ciara with an eye wiggle. At this moment Natalie and Fiona jumped on top of Ciara and Sid as Matt took the picture without them noticing him.
End Flashback
“That is one of my favorite memories too.” Sid said with a sad smile. “But I would have to say my favorite memory is when she you guys said ‘I do’, to be my family.”
Flashback
“Ciara Hartmann, I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you, Natalie and Fiona today, and all the days of our life.” Sid told Ciara as she started to tear up as Natalie and Fiona stood in front of her.
“Sidney Crosby, you are my best friend. Today I give myself to you. Using the love that we share as a vessel through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the uncertainties of our future, I can promise that you will always have my deepest love, my fullest devotion, and my deepest love, my fullest devotion and my most tender care. I promise to love you, to always strive to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and also when times becomes complicated. I promise to honor you, and to always hold our love for each other in highest regard. These things I pledge to you today, and all the days of our life together, with Natalie and Fiona. I love you.”
End Flashback
“My favorite memory is when we baked Matt a birthday cake.” Natalie said.
Flashback
“Now this is where woman belong.” Sid said jokingly walking in the kitchen as he dipped his finger into the cake batter.
“Oh really?” Ciara said giving him a glare, while he just smirked and nodded.
“Woman belong wherever there heart brings them too.” Natalie said.
“We women don’t have to live in the stereotypical world Sidney.” Fiona said seriously.
“Yeah, but that’s during the day, at night my women belong in the kitchen.” He said again joking.
“Don’t be so sure,” Ciara said as she picked up the bowl of batter and dumped over Sid’s head.
“Oh you did not just do that.” Sid said wiping the batter from his eyes as the girls laughed hysterically.
“I think I did.” Ciara smirked confidently.
“Well then, I guess it’s pay back.” Sid spoke as he picked up the eggs.
“You wouldn’t dare.” Ciara spoke.
“Oh I do.” He said as he cracked the egg over Ciara’s head and the girls laughed even more.
“You think this is funny?” Ciara asked Natalie and Fiona and they both nodded. Sid and Ciara turned towards each other giving each other a look before grabbing the flour and sugar and dumping it over the girls head. This caused a great big food fight.
End Flashback
“Yeah that was a nice big mess I walked in on.” I said remembering the kitchen was dripping from food. “My favorite memory was when my grandfather taught Ciara and I how to skate.”
Flashback
“Alright just slide your skates forward, like you are running but don’t pick them up.” Bapa told the two little kids. “Just like that.” He said surprised as the kids took off as if they did it a thousand times.
“Bapa, can we play hockey like you used to?” Ciara asked her grandfather.
“Of course, but with the way you two skate, I bet all my money that you and Matt will make it to the NHL if that’s what you want to do.” He told the little ones honestly.
“Yeah we will play for the Buffalo Sabres together one day.” Matt told him.
“If not, we will always be in the same city. We are family.” Ciara said as if nothing will ever tear the two apart, which never happened.
End Flashback
Everybody went around telling their favorite memories of Ciara, which helped lighten the mood. The memories ranged from Ciara kicking somebodies ass, to her playing a prank on somebody, to her being there when they needed somebody. I knew we were going to be ok, because even though we lost Ciara we had each other to hold ourselves together.
Sid’s POV
The next two weeks went by slowly; the NHL rearranged every teams schedule due to the amount of requests of players wanting to be there for Ciara’s funeral. Every player was there, even the ones that hated her on the ice, because no matter how much she was hated on the ice she had something about her that made everybody like her.
While I was getting ready for the funeral Matt came in and handed me a letter. “Ciara told me to give this to you if anything should have happened to her, it’s for you and the girls.” He said starting to cry, which started my waterworks all over again. “She loved you Sid, completely.” I nodded not able to answer he gave me a pat on the back before walking away.
I walked into Natalie’s room where Fiona has been sleeping lately to help each other out. “What is it Sid?” Natalie asked quietly.
“I have letter that Ciara wrote for us, in case something like this happened.” I said the girls nodded understandingly.
Dear Sid, Natalie, and Fiona,
If you’re reading this I am gone. I know that there is not much to say here to make it any less painful. But I did want you guys to know that I love you so much, and I would have been lost without you. I hope that even though I am gone you will stay together as a family. I know that you guys love each other like family and I hope that stays that way. I can’t imagine a world without you guys together. And please don’t let me gone stop you from doing something you love. I want you to go after your dreams even if it breaks your heart. Please the one thing I want you guys to do the most is not to mourn the loss of me but remember the good times. I know this is corny but, don’t cry because it’s over smile because it happened. No matter where you go, I will always be there with you watching over you. Nothing you do will ever disappoint me as long as you are doing it because you want to not because you feel like you have too. I love you, forever.
Ciara <3
P.S. Sid, I hope you find someone who loves you as much as I do. You deserve that. Oh and if you could get the team and whoever is at my burial to sing my favorite song Smile, by Uncle Cracker that would be greatly appreciated.
As I sit in the CONSOL, where Ciara’s funeral is being held I remember all the times memories we shared here. It gave me a small smile because I know this is where it began and where it ended for her. The preacher called my name so I could give me speech. I slowly walked up to the podium as I passed by her casket I kissed my hand and set it on the box.
“What can I say about Ciara Hartmann-Crosby that you don’t already know?” I started trying not tear up. “She was an amazing person there was not a bad bone in her body. She would be there for anybody, no matter if he or she were friends, or enemies, if they were in need she would be the first one to ask if they needed help. Ciara had a huge heart, ask the two girls who are sitting right next to me.” I said pointing at Natalie and Fiona who were crying. “Every day before I met Ciara my life revolved around hockey and nothing else. But she taught me how to balance hockey with everyday life. Without her I would be lost. She is, I mean was completely perfect. All her flaws made her perfect. I love her with all my heart and I know I will never find anyone like her again. She will be remembered forever.” With that I sat down and let the tears fall as I held the girls hands as we listened to others speak about Ciara and what she meant to them.
At the cemetery the preacher said a few final words as I placed her first NHL goal puck and her last NHL goal puck on her coffin as I said my final goodbye. While the Goodbye My Lover, by James Blunt was being played in the background. Once that song ended I passed around the sheet lyrics to Smile so everybody could sing along with it as Ciara’s last wish.
With the last lyric, I leaned down and kissed her casket as she was lowered into the ground for her final resting place.
“Be careful tonight, Ciara.” Natalie told me as I was waiting for Sid to leave for tonight’s game against the Flyers, the first one since the very physical playoff series last year.
“Always am.” I smiled at her. She and her sister had grown up so much in the past 3 years. I feel like it was just yesterday they were flower girls at my wedding when in reality it was two years ago.
“Just wanted to make sure.” She said her voice shaky.
“Nat is everything ok?” I asked now worried about her.
“I just have a bad feeling.” She sad look at me in the eyes, hers were full of fear. Fiona and Sid came down the stairs before I could figure out why she was so afraid, however I did notice Fiona’s eyes held the same fear.
“Be careful.” Nat told Sid as Fiona told me.
“We will.” Sid spoke for the both of us before giving me a worried look that said he had the same conversation with Fiona as I did with Natalie.
“You guys do know how much we love you, right?” I asked trying to make them less fearful. They both nodded. “Good.”
“We love you guys too.” The girls looked at both of us. “Good luck tonight, make sure you behave at the game.” I said with a smile because I knew they wouldn’t do anything but watch the game.
“Always do.” Nat said with a laugh.
“Goodbye, I love you two.” I said as I hugged and kissed both on the cheek with Sidney doing the same.
87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*
“This game is defiantly a carryover from last year’s post season series.” The color commentator said.
“It is absolutely brutal, Jon, I think it is worse than post season.” Jack told him honestly as they and whoever else was watching cringed at every hit that took place. There was twice the amount of blood splattered across the ice than normal.
Finally the horn sounded signaling the end of the first period. Both locker rooms were clearly pissed off and wanted to go kick the shit out of the other. Coaches tried to reign in their players but once the 2nd period started you could see how useless that was.
“Hartmann steals the pick, and she is on a breakaway as Giroux and Hartnell follow close behind her. She shoots, she scores.” The announcer says as the goalie trips up Ciara causing her to fly into the wall head first. As both Giroux and Hartnell slam into her.
Chris Stewart the trainer quickly ran onto the ice as soon as he noticed that Ciara wasn’t moving once the two Flyers got off of her. Once he got to her he immediately called for the paramedics. At this every single person in the arena went completely quiet as they watched as Ciara still hasn’t moved.
Sidney tried to fight through his teammates in order to check on his wife, but they held him back, in order to let the paramedics do their job. Time seemed to have stopped for Sid, Matt, Natalie, and Fiona as they watched Ciara lie there motionless. This was the exact thing the girls were freaked out about before the game.
The announcers sat stunned as the people at home sat watching commercials wondering what had happened. Another paramedic brought out a stretcher as Ciara was lifted off the ice and put onto it. But what shocked every single person in the crowd was the sheet that was pulled over Ciara’s heard.
At this the teammates hands that were holding Sidney dropped their hands and he immediately skated over to the stretcher where the paramedics were wheeling Ciara off the ice.
“Ciara!” Sidney yelled grabbing her hand as it fell off the stretcher lifeless.
“Sorry Sid, she’s gone.” Stewart told him.
“No, no she can’t be, she is too young to be just gone.” He yelled as the trainer tried to pull him away, but Sid would have none of that as he pulled back the sheet to see Ciara’s face so empty of emotion of any kind. “Why aren’t you guys doing anything for her?” Sid screamed as tears streamed down his face.
“Sid her neck broke, she died instantly there was nothing we could do.” One of the paramedics said.
“She can’t be gone, without her I am nothing.” Sid sobbed as he kissed her mouth.
“I am so sorry Sid.” The paramedic told him.
At this point everybody knew that Ciara Crosby-Hartmann was dead, players, fans, coaches, stared in disbelief or started to cry. Matt, Fiona and Natalie ran down to the locker room. Nobody knew what to do. Finally the paramedics finished taking Ciara off the ice with Sid still grasping Ciara’s hand as if it was a life line.
The refs huddled over by the penalty box talking to Bettman about what should happen next, since they have never dealt with anything like this before. Both teams knew they were in no shape to play the rest of the game.
For the people watching at home, the network finally brought it back to the broadcast. “This is a very sad day.” Jon said not really knowing what to say. “Ciara Crosby-Hartmann, has been taken of the ice on a stretcher with a sheet over her body.”
“We just got the news that her neck broke and she died instantly.” Jack said reading off the teleprompter.
“It looks like the Flyers Captain is going over to talk to the ref. What it is about I don’t know.”
“This is not a good time.” The head ref told Pronger.
“I know, I just wanted to let you know we have decided to forfeit the game, none of us want to or can play right now after what happened.” He told the ref honestly.
“Alright” the ref said relaying the information over to Bettman.
“Wait, it looks like they are calling the game, which should really be the only choice but we will have to wait and see.
“Attention, the Philadelphia Flyers have forfeited this game due to the passing of Ciara Crosby-Hartmann.” The arena announcer said sullenly.
87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87*87
Matt’s POV
Once I saw the hit I knew Ciara was hurt. Natalie and Fiona knew too as the stood right next to me watching as the paramedics came out on the ice to work on her, but once the sheet covered Ciara’s head all three of us bolted down to the locker room.
When we finally got there Sid was sitting in the locker room with the stretcher next to him still holding Ciara’s hand. He looked up at us as soon as we walked in his eyes red and puffy. “Is she really…?”Fiona asked not able to finish the question. Sid just nodded, which caused all of us to break down. The girls went over to Sid well I just dropped to my knees on the other side of Ciara.
We sat there in silence for a few minutes until the paramedics came in to take Ciara’s body away. A couple moments later the team slowly and sullenly walked through the door taking a glance at Sid and the girls before Ciara’s locker and then heading to their own locker.
Nobody said anything or made any movement to change out of there, they would just glance at Ciara’s locker expecting her to be there but every time there heart fell. All of a sudden a laugh came from Sid and the girls. I looked over to them and noticed they were at Ciara’s locker looking at a picture I took when they were hyped up on sugar.
“This is my favorite memory of Ciara.” Fiona said with a small smile.
Flashback
“Ciara can we have an Icee?” Natalie asked Ciara as they walked through Target.
“Sure, medium sound good?” Ciara asked as they headed over to Food Ave.
“Of course.” Nat said surprised Ciara even offered for a medium and not a small.
“Unfortunately we are out of medium cups, so you will pay for the medium but get a large.” The Target employee said nicely.
“Sounds good to me.” Ciara said knowing the girls will enjoy the nice treat as well as Sid and Fiona. Natalie and Ciara met Sid after they checked out, but they had 4 bags of cotton candy.
“What’s that you have?” Sid asked nodding towards the Icee in Ciara’s hand.
“I thought all of us deserved a little treat.” Ciara said as Sid just laughed.
“I thought the same thing.” Sid told her gesturing toward the cotton candy.
“Well if we are going against are diets today we might as well go big or go home.” Ciara said smiling.
“I love this idea.” Fiona yelled.
“The only thing that would make this day better would be building a fort.” Natalie said as her sister agreed.
“Then fort building we shall do.” Sid said taking a big sip of his Icee before driving home.
“Let’s play save the princess!” Fiona yelled as soon as the fort was built.
“Ciara you’re the princess, Sid’s the knight in shining armor and Natalie and I are the dragons.” Natalie sang all of them high on sugar. They played for a half hour until Sid beat the ‘dragons’ by tickling them.
“Well my princess, you are saved, what will your knight get in return?” Sid asked Ciara with an eye wiggle. At this moment Natalie and Fiona jumped on top of Ciara and Sid as Matt took the picture without them noticing him.
End Flashback
“That is one of my favorite memories too.” Sid said with a sad smile. “But I would have to say my favorite memory is when she you guys said ‘I do’, to be my family.”
Flashback
“Ciara Hartmann, I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you, Natalie and Fiona today, and all the days of our life.” Sid told Ciara as she started to tear up as Natalie and Fiona stood in front of her.
“Sidney Crosby, you are my best friend. Today I give myself to you. Using the love that we share as a vessel through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the uncertainties of our future, I can promise that you will always have my deepest love, my fullest devotion, and my deepest love, my fullest devotion and my most tender care. I promise to love you, to always strive to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and also when times becomes complicated. I promise to honor you, and to always hold our love for each other in highest regard. These things I pledge to you today, and all the days of our life together, with Natalie and Fiona. I love you.”
End Flashback
“My favorite memory is when we baked Matt a birthday cake.” Natalie said.
Flashback
“Now this is where woman belong.” Sid said jokingly walking in the kitchen as he dipped his finger into the cake batter.
“Oh really?” Ciara said giving him a glare, while he just smirked and nodded.
“Woman belong wherever there heart brings them too.” Natalie said.
“We women don’t have to live in the stereotypical world Sidney.” Fiona said seriously.
“Yeah, but that’s during the day, at night my women belong in the kitchen.” He said again joking.
“Don’t be so sure,” Ciara said as she picked up the bowl of batter and dumped over Sid’s head.
“Oh you did not just do that.” Sid said wiping the batter from his eyes as the girls laughed hysterically.
“I think I did.” Ciara smirked confidently.
“Well then, I guess it’s pay back.” Sid spoke as he picked up the eggs.
“You wouldn’t dare.” Ciara spoke.
“Oh I do.” He said as he cracked the egg over Ciara’s head and the girls laughed even more.
“You think this is funny?” Ciara asked Natalie and Fiona and they both nodded. Sid and Ciara turned towards each other giving each other a look before grabbing the flour and sugar and dumping it over the girls head. This caused a great big food fight.
End Flashback
“Yeah that was a nice big mess I walked in on.” I said remembering the kitchen was dripping from food. “My favorite memory was when my grandfather taught Ciara and I how to skate.”
Flashback
“Alright just slide your skates forward, like you are running but don’t pick them up.” Bapa told the two little kids. “Just like that.” He said surprised as the kids took off as if they did it a thousand times.
“Bapa, can we play hockey like you used to?” Ciara asked her grandfather.
“Of course, but with the way you two skate, I bet all my money that you and Matt will make it to the NHL if that’s what you want to do.” He told the little ones honestly.
“Yeah we will play for the Buffalo Sabres together one day.” Matt told him.
“If not, we will always be in the same city. We are family.” Ciara said as if nothing will ever tear the two apart, which never happened.
End Flashback
Everybody went around telling their favorite memories of Ciara, which helped lighten the mood. The memories ranged from Ciara kicking somebodies ass, to her playing a prank on somebody, to her being there when they needed somebody. I knew we were going to be ok, because even though we lost Ciara we had each other to hold ourselves together.
Sid’s POV
The next two weeks went by slowly; the NHL rearranged every teams schedule due to the amount of requests of players wanting to be there for Ciara’s funeral. Every player was there, even the ones that hated her on the ice, because no matter how much she was hated on the ice she had something about her that made everybody like her.
While I was getting ready for the funeral Matt came in and handed me a letter. “Ciara told me to give this to you if anything should have happened to her, it’s for you and the girls.” He said starting to cry, which started my waterworks all over again. “She loved you Sid, completely.” I nodded not able to answer he gave me a pat on the back before walking away.
I walked into Natalie’s room where Fiona has been sleeping lately to help each other out. “What is it Sid?” Natalie asked quietly.
“I have letter that Ciara wrote for us, in case something like this happened.” I said the girls nodded understandingly.
Dear Sid, Natalie, and Fiona,
If you’re reading this I am gone. I know that there is not much to say here to make it any less painful. But I did want you guys to know that I love you so much, and I would have been lost without you. I hope that even though I am gone you will stay together as a family. I know that you guys love each other like family and I hope that stays that way. I can’t imagine a world without you guys together. And please don’t let me gone stop you from doing something you love. I want you to go after your dreams even if it breaks your heart. Please the one thing I want you guys to do the most is not to mourn the loss of me but remember the good times. I know this is corny but, don’t cry because it’s over smile because it happened. No matter where you go, I will always be there with you watching over you. Nothing you do will ever disappoint me as long as you are doing it because you want to not because you feel like you have too. I love you, forever.
Ciara <3
P.S. Sid, I hope you find someone who loves you as much as I do. You deserve that. Oh and if you could get the team and whoever is at my burial to sing my favorite song Smile, by Uncle Cracker that would be greatly appreciated.
As I sit in the CONSOL, where Ciara’s funeral is being held I remember all the times memories we shared here. It gave me a small smile because I know this is where it began and where it ended for her. The preacher called my name so I could give me speech. I slowly walked up to the podium as I passed by her casket I kissed my hand and set it on the box.
“What can I say about Ciara Hartmann-Crosby that you don’t already know?” I started trying not tear up. “She was an amazing person there was not a bad bone in her body. She would be there for anybody, no matter if he or she were friends, or enemies, if they were in need she would be the first one to ask if they needed help. Ciara had a huge heart, ask the two girls who are sitting right next to me.” I said pointing at Natalie and Fiona who were crying. “Every day before I met Ciara my life revolved around hockey and nothing else. But she taught me how to balance hockey with everyday life. Without her I would be lost. She is, I mean was completely perfect. All her flaws made her perfect. I love her with all my heart and I know I will never find anyone like her again. She will be remembered forever.” With that I sat down and let the tears fall as I held the girls hands as we listened to others speak about Ciara and what she meant to them.
At the cemetery the preacher said a few final words as I placed her first NHL goal puck and her last NHL goal puck on her coffin as I said my final goodbye. While the Goodbye My Lover, by James Blunt was being played in the background. Once that song ended I passed around the sheet lyrics to Smile so everybody could sing along with it as Ciara’s last wish.
You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile
Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking through sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/uncle-kracker-smile-lyrics.html ]
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile
Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile.
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler then the flip side of my pillow, that's right
Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where you send me,
Lets me know that it's ok, yeah it's ok
And the moments where my good times start to fade
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile
Even when you're gone
Somehow you come along
Just like a flower poking through sidewalk crack and just like that
You steal away the rain and just like that
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/uncle-kracker-smile-lyrics.html ]
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile
Don't know how I lived without you
Cuz everytime that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile.
With the last lyric, I leaned down and kissed her casket as she was lowered into the ground for her final resting place.
♠ ♠ ♠
One more chapter. How did you guys react to this chapter? I know I had trouble writing it because I thought of everybody I had lost in my life. Next chapter is happier more up beat I promise :) Comment.