You're Not Invisible to Me

Once James and I separated from the group, he took me to an all night bakery. It was cute. It was within walking distance from the arena, so as we walked his held his arm out for me to hook on to. I hated how adorable I thought this was.

When we sat down, there was a short period of silence. But he started asking about the night and what I thought of BTR. Of course they were all good things. He is rather talented… and rather good looking…

“This has been bothering me since our reunion…” he started with a slight huff coming out of him.

“What?” I asked, looking at him oddly.

Without a word passing through his lips, he reached over and took my left hand into his. Slowly, he twirled the ring that was on it… my purity ring.

“That was a long time ago,” I tried to shrug it off.

“I know, but… I’m sorry how… disrespectful I was. As your boyfriend, I should have respected your decision,” he explained.

“What happened to you?” I couldn’t help but ask. I had been thinking about that since we exchanged words at the reunion. My question made him chuckle though. Those teeth are so perfect… oh my.

“I guess I… grew up,” he shrugged.

“Took you long enough,” I taunted.

“I know. I know,” he said, but his tone softened.

“I’m sorry. I’m being rude,” I countered.

“No, you’re not. I’m sure I hurt you. But… I really wanted to make it right,” he replied.

“Well, I’m glad you did. You turned out to be a rather nice man. Your girlfriend’s lucky,” I told him, trying to get some info out of him…

“I don’t have one, so…” he trailed off.

“Please tell me you’re not gay,” my heart nearly sank. I want you to be my boyfriend again!

“You would not believe how many times I have gotten that question,” he chuckled.

“So…” I went on teasingly.

“I’m not,” he chuckled yet again.

“I mean, if you were, I’d totally be ok with it. You can come out to me, James…” I giggled now.

“Do I have to kiss you to prove it to you?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe…” I snickered.

He looked at me for a few seconds before he got up and scooted into my side of the booth, sitting rather closely. For as much sweating as he did at his show, he smelt really good!

“I was kidding!” I quickly said, putting my hand on his chest to make sure he didn’t get any bright ideas.

“The offer still stands,” he put his hands up in defense.

I just got a good laugh out of it. He’s really… sweet… cute… sexy even? I hated him a couple weeks ago… Why is he slowly making his way back into my heart?

“Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we stayed together?” I asked randomly.

“No,” he said without hesitation. It made me feel bad for asking... “I don’t think high school me and high school you understood each other well enough to have a last relationship,” he explained.

“Oh,” I simply said.

“But I mean… who knows about now,” he shrugged.

I hardened my look a little bit while looking at him sideways. Was he hinting?

“Why are you looking at me that way?” he laughed.

“What does that statement mean?” I countered.

“If you want to, I guess… we could try us again,” he said with his eyes catching my gaze. Those eyes…

“I… don’t know,” I was suddenly unsure about him now…

“We can ease into it. No pressure. I promise,” he smiled.

I kept my eyes fixed on him for the longest time, debating with myself. Did I… or didn’t I? Well I knew what I wanted to do… I just wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do…

“As long as you keep your promise,” I told him.

“I promise to keep that promise,” he smiled cutely.

His cuteness got to me. Since one of his arms was resting behind the booth, it was easy to fall against his chest. I nuzzled up into it, bringing a cute little chuckle out of him.

I felt kind of… weird after this moment. I talked so negatively about this guy to almost anyone that asked about my exes. But now… we’re slowly working back up to that boyfriend/girlfriend stage. But I find myself… oddly ok with it. He seems to have changed. I just hope he keeps his promise. I don’t know how I would deal if he broke my heart a second time. Oh no… I have to tell Katie about this eventually… FML!