Mirror Image

"Andy..." Ronnie looked at my friend before turning back to me. Andy got up and went into the bathroom. "Shea, you need to get help."

"I'm okay! Please don't send me away!" I cried, I could almost hear my trembling. I'm sure they could feel it through the floor. It's like a fucking earthquake. Earthquake... "Like an earthquake shaking me in two, adrenaline intoxication and you don't have a clue. I have so many problems that I just can't help, yeah I know it's true."

"Now is not the time to be writing lyrics, Shea!" Ronnie put his head in his hands and I felt Jacky and heard Andy give a soft, almost humorless chuckle.

"It's what I do." I muttered, reaching my hands out of Jacky's grasp to grab for the notebook on the nightstand.

"Then do that, not this." He pleaded.

"I need both." I whispered.

"You don't, why won't you see that!"

"Shouting at her won't help anything!" Jacky hissed as I cringed.

"I'm sorry, sis, please, just try to help us out. Why do you do this?"

"It's an addiction, Radke." Andy came back out and shook a small, travel toothpaste box. I heard a rattle from inside and I'm sure everyone else could too. "Clever, almost did't find them. Shoulda tried that with my cigarettes." He opened the window at the top, one of the only three that opened, and dropped it out.

"Shea, you need to go get help." Ronnie pleaded.

"No!"

"After this tour, please, just...we can check you into a hospital."

"The last thing she needs is more mentally sick people." Andy snorted.

"Home treatment isn't helping!"

"She had how long at home before her ass was thrown on a bus with her ex-boyfriend?" Andy pointed out. "She needs time."

"She needs to stop!"

"She's right here." Jacky whispered, kissing my forehead.

"What do you think Vincent?" Ronnie looked at him for an answer.

Jacky looked into my eyes and I could see his concern despite his mostly masked emotions.

"You need help, love."

"Don't make me leave!"

JACKY POV

My heart broke a little as she began sobbing again into my chest. Andy and Ronnie looked horrified.

"He's not sending you away." Andy tried.

"He's trying to help."

"Maybe she needs to talk to a girl..." Andy trailed off. "We could get Alyssa."

"Or Sammi." Ronnie pointed out.

"Or Sammi."

I bit my lip to keep from telling them what she's told me earlier. Suddenly, Shea looked up at me with tearstained cheeks and red, puffy eyes.

"Don't you love me?"

"Baby, that's why I want you to get better." I whispered and kissed her lips.

"Sammi was never an addict..." Andy trailed off.

"Neither was Alyssa." Ronnie shrugged.

"She cut."

"We're not talking about drugs anyways. Maybe she just needs someone to talk to in general."

"She's talking to Jacky."

"Guys, she can hear you." I sighed, pulling the crying girl closer to me.

"I'm sorry." She whimpered.

"Sorry can't fix you, love." I whispered. "That's all we want. A better you who can be happy and not do this to herself."

"I want to die." I froze and looked down at her desperate eyes. Ronnie and Andy stopped their bickering and turned to her.

"Why would you say that?" I actually wanted to cry now.

"It's true." She whispered.

"What the fuck would we do without you? Your brothers, your band, your sister, your friends...me, what would we do, Shea? What?"

"Move on." She curled up again.

"No. We wouldn't." I whispered. "You're not replaceable like that."

"I feel that way."

"You're not." Andy said before I could speak. "No one is, Shea, people cannot be replaced. Sure, an ex-boyfriend can because guess what, that's what happens! But if someone were to die...you can't fix that. They're gone. You won't ever get them back."

"Don't ever say that again." Ronnie frowned. "Ever. I'll miss you too much, I just found you, I'm not letting go."

She chuckled humorlessly, yawning. "You'd all find your ways."

"I don't think we could." I told her. "Go to sleep, I'll get you before dinner."

SHEA POV

"Wake up, love, time to get ready." Jacky rested his hand on my shoulder.

"Huh?"

"Wanna meet Drake and Chris?" He asked with a small, sad smile. Then everything came flooding back.

"Jacky I--"

"Don't worry about it. We're going out to some fancy vegan place...well not fancy really...just...wear nice clothes." He struggled to find words. I nodded and sat up, kissing him softly on the cheek and grabbing clothes. I was about to walk into the bathroom when he stopped me.

"And, Shea," I looked up at him, "Don't ever leave me."

I blinked, surprised, before nodding. He gave a small smiled and let me go change.

When I exited, not entirely happy with my appearance, he'd already changed. I was wearing black skinny jeans and a green button down blouse over a silver cami and my make-up was simple. He had on black skinnies too, but a black buttondown.

"I feel over dressed." He muttered, glaring at the mirror.

"Because it's black. Just wear Vans."

"Then I'm all black!"

"Because you're not like that on a daily basis!" I laughed.

"RACIST!" He laughed, pulling me to him, before I knew what was happening, and tickling me.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry! You look amazing!" I laughed.

"Well you look sexy." He whispered in my ear, stopping.

"Quit looking down my shirt."

"Aweeee." He joked.

"Come on! Let's go meet the new guys!" I clapped, pulling on my own shoes and reaching for the door. He wrapped his arms around me and opened the door first, picking me up in the process of leaving and giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Ew, damn honeymooners!" Jake teased and I saw literally everyone stood there waiting for us.

"Christ--"

"Dude, you just called me Christ. It's Chris." A guy laughed, he looked about Andy's age I'd say. Probably the same generation.

"Sorry, slipped," Ronnie chuckled, "Chris, this is my other sister, Shea, and Jacky."

"Hey." He smiled.

"And this is Chris." Ronnie motioned to him. Chris waved.

"And this is Drake." Andy dragged another boy out from the back of the crowd. He was closer to my age, shy by the seems. He blushed and gave an awkward laugh.

"Hiya, Drake!" I smiled as Jacky put my down. "I love your music." I'd found him on youtube when he'd first started out.

"Really?" He smiled. "I adore your music, it's awesome!"

"I like this kid!" I announced, "He has amazing taste!"

Ronnie laughed.

"Okay, Shea."

"TO DINNER!" I brandished an invisible sword and marched forward. I heard Chris laughing, but so was everyone else.

Except this dumb old lady who stuck her head out the door of her room.

"Keep it down would you? People are trying to enjoy vacation!"

"Sorry--Mrs. Foster?!" Damn, she's everywhere.

She grumbled something when she recognized me and went back into her room.

"Nice job kid." Ashley patted me on the back.