Mirror Image

SHEA POV

"We're going to go swimming!" Alyssa announced when we got back, "Minus you!" She looked at me. I pouted. "Sorry, can't with a new tattoo."

"You're doing this on purpose." I mumbled.

"Mhmm!"

I rolled my eyes.

"Well, fine, Jacky, come upstairs with me?" I turned to him. His eyes went wide.

Oh damn it, not this again, Jacky.

"Oh! Denied!" Andy and Ashley high-fived.

"Oh, shut-up." I crossed my arms.

"I'll go upstairs with you." Ashley teased, he might be a tad bit (I'm exaggerating a little by saying "tad bit") of a man-whore, but he was only kidding.

"Mhmm, sure, and you can explain to the boyfriend behind me what we did."

He shrugged, a grin still on his face.

Jacky buried his face on the side of my neck that didn't have plastic on it. I leaned back against him a little and tried to inconspicuously brush my hand between us. He bit my neck.

"Damn, she's a tease." Jake howled with laughter and all of the other guys joined in on making fun of Jacky's misery.

The only people unamused were Ronnie and Jared.

Jared has been making me feel really, really uncomfortable lately. And, usually he's one of the first to crack a joke or at least laugh at it, even if he has to fake it.

But I couldn't worry about that now. Jacky trailed kisses up my neck until he nibbled my ear.

"You don't fight fair."

"Neither do you."

"Please get a room, that's my sister!" Ronnie whined.

"I have a room, I don't need to get one." I told him.

"But...you guys are having sex...with your clothes on...go...away." He separated us. "And please be...in an acceptable state by seven...we're meeting with the people we're sharing the stage with tomorrow."

"Who's joining us?" Andy frowned.

"Asking Alexandria and Christofer Drew and a newbie, I'm not sure of his name. I think he's playing today and just chilling out backstage with us tomorrow."

"A newbie?" Mika asked.

"I think his name is similar to Chris's." Jinxx said. "I just remember that's what I thought of when I heard it."

"You're all dumb." Sammi laughed. "His name is Drake."

"How do you get Drake confused with Chris?" Alyssa hit Jinxx over the head.

"Do not hit an adult over the head! Especially not my fiance." Sammi glared at her before grinning. "Only I can."

"Don't hit me, love, please." He held her to him.

"Awe, I couldn't."

"Yes, you could!" His voice raised an octave and we all broke out laughing. "You nearly did earlier when I told you you were holding the violin wrong."

"Girls. Are. Always. Right." Alyssa told him.

"TOO MUCH LOVEY-DOVEY!" Andy announced. "Let's go to the pool! If you're going to go fuck your girlfriend do so now when we go to our rooms."

I took Jacky's hand.

"Okay, bye then!" I laughed.

"Can I see your tattoo?" Jacky asked when we were in the elevator.

"Yeah, sure." I shrugged, wincing a little.

"Cool." We got to the room and opened it. I bellyflopped onto the bed. He sat down next to me and carefully peeled off the bandage and the plastic holding the gel to it. "Pretty."

"Yeah. I like it." I agreed.

"So, I noticed you were watching Sammi." He commented.

"She was being funny." I defended, but he was right. She's a lot older than me, but so is my current boyfriend. I'm not going to lie, I'm jealous that she seems so happy, I'm sure she is. She's engaged to a wonderful guy. I'm too young to get married, but I mean, what girl wouldn't be jealous when she's hanging out with someone who has a fiance, no matter what the age difference.

"Seriously, what's wrong?"

"She's so happy."

"You're not?" He sounded a little hurt. Great, that's not what I wanted to do.

"I'm so happy, Jacky." I turned over so I could see him, ignoring the fabric rubbing against my tender shoulder. "Are you?"

"Honestly?" He asked, pausing. I bit my lip. "Yes. Yes, I'm happy."

"I'm just...until she goes back I'm spending time around her and I know I've been hanging around Jinxx since right before this tour started and never been bothered by the fact he has a fiancee but when it's a girl it's different."

"She's so much older than you." He said softly, "And you have so much time in front of you to worry about that."

"But what if no one wants me?" I whimpered.

"I want you." He kissed my forehead.

"Do you?" I asked, arching my back to look at him better, ignoring the fact it made my shoulder sting like hell. "Jacky, you never really act like it. You act like you just want to make me happy, but you never act like you're happy back."

"Shea, I genuinely care about you. If I didn't I wouldn't be here."

"That's what he said too." I hadn't realized I'd started crying. Jacky sat me up and pulled me onto his lap.

"You need to let go. Because one person let the best thing in his life get away doesn't mean everyone else will. You're not going to die alone, don't be absurd." He whispered into my hair.

"Jacky, do you ever get bored of life?" I asked.

He tensed.

"You're not---Shea, you wouldn't!" He grabbed my arms from around me and pushed my sleeves up. "Shea, where are they?" He looked in my eyes. I closed them and started sobbing quietly. "Shea! Shea, please tell me where they are." I shook my head. He put me down on the bed and pushed up my shirt on my stomach. He tugged it back down and undid my belt before he paused. Whatever made him pause he shook off because he tugged down my jeans. "Oh, love." He sighed. I opened an eye to see a blurry image of him running his hands up his face and through his hair. I felt his finger trace one. "Is this from this morning?"

I nodded.

"Why? When?"

"In the bathroom...because I needed to." I whispered.

"You need to get help." He told me firmly.

"No!" I shook my head frantically.

"You have a legitimate problem, Shea." He whispered.

"No!" I wailed, "Don't send me away! I'll leave!"

He froze.

"Is that what you think of me? That I just want to get rid of you?" He asked, hurt again. I hurt him again! He buckled my pants around my waist again and moved so he held me again. "I want you to be better. I could never just get rid of you like that. Please realize that. It's not your fault you're like this, I won't ever hold it against you."

I don't know how long he held me like that, but eventually he reached for his cellphone.

"What are you doing?" I whispered.

He sighed.

"I need to tell Ronnie. Babe, you need help."

"I need to finish the tour!" I croaked.

"You can, it doesn't go on too much longer. But, you need help. I don't want to lose you ever." He kissed my lips softly. "Go shower, please? And be good? I don't think you want to go to dinner looking like this. I'll get those cuts cleaned up and bandaged after. I need to get Ronnie up here. Please understand?" His brown eyes bore up into mine from where he now crouched down by the side of the bed. I nodded. He picked me up and carried me to the bathroom. Setting me down on the toilet, the lid was closed, he looked around the counter for anything sharp I assume. He took a few objects and came over and kissed my forehead. "I'll be right back, I promise."

I closed my eyes and listened to him leave before deciding to follow his wishes and take a shower.

JACKY POV

I walked quickly downstairs, looking around for Ronnie. I finally found the pool and everyone else.

"Hey, Jacky, where's your girl?" Jake called. I shook my head in a 'not now' gesture. Ronnie turned around and looked at me.

"Jacky? What's wrong?" I shook my head, not wanting to share in front of the others. "Vincent, what the fuck happened?"

Andy's head snapped around.

"She didn't." He sounded worried. Ronnie's eyes widened and he scrambled out of the pool. Andy got out too.

"Biersack, stay here." He pulled on his shirt and slipped on shoes.

"No, she's my friend too. I should've realized she'd start again." He fought back.

"She's my sister."

"I don't give a fuck, she's my friend."

"Where is she now, Jacky?" Alyssa asked.

"Babe, stay here, you can't be getting worked up now." Her boyfriend called her back. She bit her lip. "She doesn't want to be flooded, I'm sure she'll want to talk to you alone." She sighed and nodded, going back to sit on the edge of the pool.

We continued through the hotel. Andy was drying his hair with his shirt and walking barefoot so we brought more attention than we needed to.

"Ronnie, she needs help." I whispered. "I don't know what to do and I don't want to lose her."

He groaned.

"What is she doing?"

"She's cutting herself again, her legs."

"My God."

"She asked me if I was ever just...bored of life." I whispered.

"She's suicidal?!" Andy's eyes widened.

"Oh my God." Ronnie was practically pulling his hair out. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!"

The elevator let out on our floor and I let them into our room.

"Hold on." I said, going into the bathroom. She was sitting on the toilet again, her hair was wet and she was wearing only her underwear. I lifted her up and onto the counter. I stood between her legs and kissed her lips softly before bandaging her legs and helping her dress in a shirt and shorts, she'd change again later before we all went out.

SHEA POV

Jacky picked me up bridal style and brought me into the room. He sat me on his lap on the bed, facing the two chairs where Andy and Ronnie sat looking concerned.

"Shea, we need to talk."