Love is a Luxury

It was six in the morning and I was wide awake, getting ready to go to the hospital and see my son. I was sitting in the kitchen, drinking a Mountain Dew when John sleepily strolled down the stairs, yawning, and then messing up his hair even more. “If I promise to hurry, can I go with you?” I nodded and he walked back upstairs.

In ten minutes he was back in the kitchen, dressed and groomed. “Do you want me to cook you some eggs or something? We don’t have bacon, since my mom’s a vegetarian and Jimmie hasn’t been home, but I can make some toast.” He shook his head.

“It’s fine. I’m not hungry.” I wrote a note stating that John and I had gone to the hospital and that we’d be back later, only to call if there’s an emergency and said not to let Jimmie cook because he will burn down the house.

We left the house at a quarter to seven and reached the hospital at five after. We went inside, told the nurse who we were and soon, we were walking down the long white hallway hand in hand. The nurse stopped and opened the door for us. We walked inside and she pulled back the curtain.

I looked at the child I had left behind three weeks earlier to be in a band. The child I cared for for the past two and half years. The one who has possession of my heart, and the one who could make me smile on my worst days. He was covered in bruises, and had bandages wrapped around him. His arm was in a cast and his cheek was swollen.

I turned into John and cried into his chest and his arms wrapped around me securely. I stepped back from him and walked toward Colby. I sat down on the edge of his bed and pushed back his dark brown curls. I laughed a little as they fell back into his face. He used to get so furious whenever they would do that, so he always made me cut his hair more than any little boy would ask for.

“He looks a lot like you, whether you know it or not,” John whispered in my ear. I nodded my head.

“I need to get some air, I’ll be back in a couple minutes, just stay here,” I rushed out the door.

John’s Point of View.

Olivia rushed out the door and I pulled a chair up to Colby’s bed. “Hey little man. You don’t know me, but I’m a friend of your mom’s. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I’ll give it a shot. You’re mom’s really upset right now, and I don’t know if your know this, but she really loves you. Please, wake up. It would mean the world to your mom, because she’s a mess without you. I don’t know what she’d do without you, dude. Please, do it for her,” I stood up and kissed the top of his head.

Olivia came back inside. She had stopped crying, and she looked like she had it under control. “Staying here isn’t going to change anything. Let’s just see my mom and then I wanna go back home,” she said. I nodded and wrapped an arm around her as we exited the room. I took one last look at Colby who still laid still. I sighed and left the room with Olivia.

Olivia’s Point of View.

We were done visiting at the hospital and were on our way home now. John was driving this time, and I was in the passenger seat with my head leaning against the window. John put his hand on my knee and gave me a ‘please feel better, for me?’ look. I took his hand off my knee and intertwined it with my own.

We pulled into the driveway and we both got out of the car. I went straight to my room and changed back into my pajama pants. “Oh shit, I’m sorry,” John said as he walked in on me.

“Calm down,” I grabbed his hand and pulled him back into my room. “I’m not the first girl you’ve seen in their underwear,” I pulled my pants on and laid back down in bed. He laid down beside me and I put my head on his chest, where I fell back asleep.

---

Two days have passed since I freaked out in the hospital and left the room, searching for air. I’ve practically been living in the hospital from seven to noon, sitting there with whoever decided to come with me that day and my still unconscious son.

“I’m gonna go get a soda out of the machine down the hall. Do you want one?” John asked. I shook my head and continued to pick the chipping blue nail polish off my fingers.

I heard a sleepy hum and looked up. Nothing. I looked back at my fingernails. I heard the rustling of sheets and saw it. Colby had moved. His eyes fluttered open and mine blurred with tears. A smile was across my face and I hugged him. “Mommy, where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital Sweetie. You got in an accident, but it’s okay, because you’re getting better,” I pushed back his curls and kissed his forehead.

“I wanna go home,” he started to cry and tried to take the IV out of his arm.
“No Sweetie, you gotta leave that alone. It’s making you feel better. You can go home soon, I promise,” I pressed the nurse button on the remote next to his bed. They rushed in there, and I was forced to leave. I stood outside the door smiling like an idiot. I could hear Colby screaming for me inside the room, and sure, I felt terrible that I had to leave him in there, but I was so stoked that my son had woken up, I didn’t care if anyone thought I was crazy.

“What are you smiling about?” John asked as he approached me.

“Do you hear him?”

“You’re smiling because your son’s screaming?” He stopped for a second. “Your son’s crying! He woke up!” He picked me up and twirled me around.

“Mrs. Painter, Mr. Painter, your son is a little freaked out about waking up in a hospital, but he is definitely the way a two year old should be. There seems to be no problem remembering. We’re going to keep him a few more nights, but he should be able to go home soon. I know that you probably want to see him, but it’s going on noon, and we still need to monitor him. I’m terribly sorry,” the doctor said.

“It’s fine. I’ll just come back tomorrow and see him,” I smiled. Colby was out of a coma! This was the best feeling in the world. “Come on, let’s go tell Mom,” I told John. When we walked out of the double doors and started heading towards the wing where my mom was located at, John grabbed my left hand. I looked down and saw him trying to put a silver band on my finger. “What the hell are you doing?” I asked, laughing.

“The doctor thinks we’re married, so I think we should act like it,” John finished slipping the ring on my finger and then intertwined my fingers with his. I got to my mom’s room before knocking on the door three times and then entering. She was watching T.V.

“COLBY WOKE UP!” I yelped and hugged her.

“Oh, my gosh, seriously. Livy, that’s amazing! I’m so happy!”

“Me too, Momma, me too. Oh, by the way, I’m apparently married to John now,” I laughed and showed her my hand. “The doctors here are a little looped out, and John is too,” I walked over and stood by him.

“You’re just mad, because you don’t wanna marry me,” he stuck out his tongue and kissed my nose.

“I’m not mad, and I’m not marrying you either.”

“Why?” He pouted.

“Because you don’t know how to share the blankets when you sleep. Why do you think I finished sleeping on the floor?” I smirked.

“Good reason,” he mumbled. I laughed.

“Livy, can you go and get me a soda? I’m dying of thirst,” my mom said.

“Of course,” I smiled and left. I came back to see John sitting on the chair beside the bed. “Here you go,” I handed her the bottle of Coke and sat on the edge of the bed. My cell phone rang and I answered it. “What?”

“Where are you?” Jimmie asked.

“Where am I usually at this time of day?”

“Oh, yeah, right. Anyways, the guys just called. They need us back on tour ASAP. Three days at the max.”

“Shit, you’re kidding. Jimmie, Colby just woke up. He’s gotta stay at the hospital another week at least, and Mom’s still due for another night. Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. We’ll talk about it more when you get back, but we can’t just stick around for the rest of the month. We need to get back soon,” he hung up the phone.

“We’ve got three days max to stay here. Fan-fucking-tastic.”

“Sweetheart, you know Jimmie’s right. You guys have fans waiting for you. You can’t just bail on them. I’m fine, and Colby’s alive and well. We’re going to be released from here soon; you have nothing to worry about. You need to go back.” I bit my lip and nodded, knowing she was right.

“The sooner, the better, right?” She nodded. “I’ll tell Jimmie to book the tickets for tomorrow, I’m gonna miss you,” I sniffled and hugged her.

“It’s okay. You’ll be back in two months, you’ll see me then. You can call me if you need anything. It’s going to be okay Baby Doll,” As she stroked my hair, I heard the door open. I looked up to see the last person I wanted to see in this entire world.

“Elizabeth, I heard you were in an accident. Are you okay?”

“I have to go,” I mumbled and tried to walk past the person to the door.

“What? You don’t have time to talk to your old daddy?” Michael said, making me cringe at the thought he still has the nerve to call himself my father.

“No, I don’t,” I reached for John’s hand.

“You’re still that little bitch you were when I left. Guess things don’t change, do they?”

“Michael,” my mother hissed. “I think you need to leave.”

“And who’s this? Your boyfriend? Husband? Just a guy you picked up to fuck later? And let me guess, you’re doing something totally wrong in your life? You probably didn’t go to college, and you probably have a kid, am I right?” Then his hand struck my face.

“Why the fuck does it matter to you? You never gave two shits about any of your kids. You know your other daughter’s in prison, right? She had an addiction, just like you. She couldn’t get enough meth to get her high, just like you can’t get enough alcohol to get yourself drunk enough. You’re worthless to me Michael. Did you stop to think that I had no contact with you for a reason? No, of fucking course not. I’m done with you. I love you, Mom, but if you don’t see me tomorrow, you’ll know I went back,” I pulled John out of the room with me and walked as fast as possible down the halls.

We got in the car, and John slammed his hand on the steering wheel. He was furious. “I can’t fucking believe that asshole! He just shows up after almost eight years expecting to be accepted into the family again. What the fuck is his deal?”

“I don’t know John, just please calm down.” Nothing changed. “Pull over.”

“Why?”

“Cause I’m gonna puke, pull over the fucking car,” I said, holding onto my stomach for emphasis. He slowed down dramatically and pulled onto the side of the road. He shut off the car and looked at me. I reached over and pulled the keys out of the ignition.

“I thought you we’re going to—,” I cut him off with my lips.

“I lied. John, you scare the shit out of me when you drive like that. But, thanks for not hitting him back; no matter how bad you wanted to. I just want to forget the whole thing, and I’ll get Mom to tell Jimmie the story. Let’s just get home, where I can take a hot shower and go to bed with a different blanket than you,” I stuck out my tongue at him and handed him back the keys.

“You’re going to share the covers with me and you know it,” he kissed me.

“You’re a cocky little fucker, you know that right?”

“Oh well,” he smirked. We made it back to the house about fifteen minutes later. Jimmie was on the phone with a distressed look on his face. “All right, Mom, I love you too, bye,” he tossed the phone onto the table in front of him. “Mom told me what happened with Michael. She wants us to stay at a hotel tonight, and she also said she wants us back on tour soon.” I just nodded and went upstairs to throw everything I may have pulled out, back into my suitcase.

“Relax,” John said, placing his hands on my hipbones, stopping me from slinging things around my room.

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m just still really shaken up about today,” I turned and hugged him. He kissed the top of my head and we stood there for a few more minutes.

“Are you ready yet?” Jimmie yelled up the stairs.

“Almost. Just give me two more minutes,” I replied, pulling away from John and finished throwing everything into my bag. I put Colby’s stuffed elephant back in his room, grabbed my bags, and headed down the stairs.

We had Craig pick us up so we didn’t have to leave a car at the hotel, and pulled into the Holiday Inn. “One room with two single beds or two separate rooms with full beds?” Jimmie asked before we entered the lobby.

“Full beds,” everyone said simultaneously. He nodded and walked inside. Jimmie charmed the secretary and somehow managed to get us a discount. Thank goodness that he was a sweet talker. We walked to our rooms.

“Who’s sleeping where?” I asked as we stood beside the doors.

“I figured you and John, and Garrett and I, if that’s all right with everyone,” Jimmie explained.

“Fine with me,” John said and slung me over his shoulder, taking the key from my brother and having Garrett carry in my bags.

“I hate you O’Callaghan.”

“I know,” he said throwing me gently on the bed. Garrett set down my bags on the floor, said his goodnights and shut the door behind him. “So, we’ve got a room all to ourselves. What to do with it?” John raised his eyebrows.

“Ha, ha, not happening,” I smirked, quickly pecked his lips and grabbed my bag where I went into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. Twenty minutes later, I stepped out of the shower into the foggy room. I got dressed into pajamas, which consisted of a blue plaid boy shorts and a gray My Chemical Romance T-Shirt. I put on my socks, brushed out my snarled blonde hair after toweling it around a little, put my dirty clothes into my bag and walked back into the room.

John was on the bed in his boxers, flipping through the channels on the TV. I crawled under the covers, and switched off the lamp on my side of the bed. “You can’t go to sleep yet, it’s not late enough,” he shook me, trying to roll me over.

I turned and faced him. “I’m tired, though,” I buried my face in his chest.

“Hey, guys,” Jimmie said, opening the door of the adjoined room. “The pool’s open for another hour, y’all wanna go?”

“I just got out of the shower, but I’ll sit out there with you,” I said, grabbing my cell phone off the nightstand and stuffing it into my bra.

Jimmie left and shut the door behind him. John pulled his swim trunks out of his bag and started changing in front of me. “Thanks for showing me your awkwardly pale ass, John. It really made my night,” I said sarcastically as he pulled up his shorts.

“Anytime,” he kissed me. We walked down to the pool where Garrett and Jimmie were already in the pool.

“Why aren’t you swimming Livy?” Garrett asked as he threw his arms on the ledge.

“I don’t feel like it, I just got out of the shower, and I don’t want chlorine in my hair.”

“Cause she’s a fucking lame-ass,” John said like it was a better reason and jumped into the pool.

“I will take this key with me, and lock our side of the door so that you can’t get to me from their room,” I threatened.

“I’m so scared,” John said in a mocking tone and shook his body.
“You better be,” I snatched the key off the chair and started walking back to the room. I thought I was safe until I heard someone running behind me. I turned around to see John running towards me with a towel around his waist. I started running too, laughing as I went, and made it to the room before he caught me. I threw open the door and tried to shut it, but he had reached it just in time. I threw the card onto the TV stand and started backing up as he approached me.

He shut the door behind him and threw the towel aside. I kept backing up and laughing as he got closer and closer. I ran into the wall and my eyes widened in fear as he caught me. He pressed his body against mine. My hands went to his sides as he kissed me. I put more force into it and started backing him up to the bed. I pushed him down and straddled his waist. “Do you have a condom?” He shook his head.

As much as I may have wanted to, I didn’t want a kid. I sighed, got off him, grabbed the key off the TV stand and went back to the pool. “Did he catch you?” Jimmie asked. I nodded. “Did you get laid?” I shook my head. “You didn’t want to, or no condom?”

“No condom,” I replied, not really caring whether he knew or not. Jimmie and I weren’t the closest, but we hardly hesitated about telling each other things, especially if they asked.

“Well, I respect your decision, because I’d definitely hate to see John Cornelius O’Callaghan the Sixth,” Garrett blurted. I laughed and pulled my phone out of my shirt, sending John a text. In all honesty, I’m sorry. I’m just not ready to raise another kid. Maybe another time. –Livy Lynn

The boys finally got out of the pool and we headed back to the rooms. I sighed, slid the card into the door and pushed it open. John was still on the bed, this time though, he was asleep on his side. I flipped off the light, crawled into bed beside him, and draped my arm across his torso, where I buried my face in his back. Before I fell asleep, I felt him place his hand over mine and lace my fingers with his.