That's Why I Got a Heater For Your Thighs

Four years later, I found myself in the worst possible situation I could imagine.

It all started a few days after Christmas.

Jimmy was going to have an eye operation after Christmas which was why he couldn't join me and Mason on our little trip to visit Jimmy's parents.

And since Mason hadn't seen his grandparents in a while, we decided to go see them without Jimmy. The trip turned out to be a success – Jimmy's parents cheered up when they got to spend time with their grandson and Mason had fun with his grandparents. Everyone was really happy.

While being there, at Jimmy's parents' house, I took a pregnancy test because I had missed my period and wasn't really feeling that great. And, in fact, I found out that I was pregnant. It was such good news – I couldn't wait to have another baby, especially now that Mason had grown up so much and was already five years old.

I tried calling Jimmy but he didn't answer his phone so I decided to wait until I was home and could tell him face to face the news.

It was already getting dark outside as I was driving home from Jimmy's parents' place. The air was freezing outside and everything looked creepy. But even though the weather was shit, I was really excited for going back home. I had been missing Jimmy like crazy and couldn't wait to tell him about the baby!

As I reached our house and got out of the car, I noticed that the whole house was dark. Not a single light was on which surprised me. I had thought that Jimmy would be home. In fact, he should've been home after the eye operation.

I shrugged it off and picked Mason up from the back seat. He was asleep as I somehow managed to carry him inside and close the door behind me. I found Mason's room in the dark and put him in his bed before kissing his cheek and walking out of the room.

I made my way up into our bedroom but didn't find Jimmy there. But what I did find was an empty bottle of beer. And someone had been sleeping in the bed recently. Even Jimmy's phone was there which made it even more strange.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Brian's number as I sat down on the bed.

”Please pick up, please pick up,” I mumbled as I waited for a few seconds.

”Rachel?” Brian finally answered his phone.

”Hey, uh, do you know where Jimmy is? I just came home and he's nowhere to be found...”

”Rach... Jimmy is in the hospital,” Brian said quietly.

”Wh... What? What is going on?” I whispered.

My hands were sweaty and shaking. My mouth and throat felt dry. What the hell was going on?

”He... He might not make it,” Brian whispered.

I dropped the phone on the floor and stared into emptiness. The whole world seemed to stop, nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

I laid down on my back and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath in and bit my lip.

What if it was all just a bad dream? What if, if I now closed my eyes and fell asleep, in the morning I would wake up next to my husband and everything would be fine?

I was woken up by my mother. There was no Jimmy by my side – it had not been only just a dream.

As I opened my eyes and looked at her, I saw tears in her eyes. In fact, she looked like she had been crying all night. Her eyes were puffy and red and her face looked swollen.

”Rachel, we have to go to the hospital,” she whispered and touched my cheek.

She helped me up on my feet and let out a deep sigh.

”Mom... What happened to Jimmy?” I whispered.

”He shouldn't have taken any alcohol after the eye operation and he apparently drank a beer and Brian came to visit and he found him laying right there...” mom ended up shaking her head and pointing at the bed.

”Is he going to be okay? Why are you crying?”

”The doctors haven't told us anything. They're afraid that he might not make it through this,” mom whispered and burst into tears.

”Oh my god.”

”Honey, let's go. We have to go now,” she mumbled and wiped her eyes.

Before going to the hospital, we dropped Mason off at my sister's place who promised to look after him while we were at the hospital.

And when we got to the hospital, I saw everyone. Matt, Johnny, Zacky, Brian and all their wives were there in the waiting room. It was the middle of the night and half of them were asleep, the other half was staring at the floor or crying.

But I couldn't bring myself to react in any way. I didn't know what to do. The reality hadn't hit me. I didn't understand that my husband could die.

”Why am I the last person to arrive here?” I asked all of a sudden.

Everybody turned to look at me, well, I mean the ones that were awake.

”We wanted to wait until you got home before calling you. And it all happened so fast, and...” mom trailed off as she saw the look on my face. I was glaring at her.

”I deserve to know first, okay? I deserve to know first when something like this happens. We're talking about my husband here. He's my husband!” I exclaimed.

As no one really said anything, I decided to let it all out.

”I should've been the first one here. You should've called me right away and let me know what's happened to my husband! I should've been here by his side this whole time! He's my husband, he's the father of my child! What if something happens? What will happen to my child? What will happen to me?” I shouted as the tears finally made their way down my cheeks.

By the time I had finished shouting, I could barely see through my teary eyes.

”This isn't fair,” I whispered and tried to furiously wipe my wet cheeks and eyes.

I could feel everyone looking at me but I couldn't have cared less. None of it mattered. Nothing but Jimmy mattered to me at that moment.

”Rachel, you have to understand that Jimmy is everyone's friend. Everyone here loves him,” mom said quietly and patted my back.

”But he's my best friend! I cannot lose him!” I cried and sat down on the floor, burying my face in my hands.

”He's my best friend, he's my everything...” I mumbled to myself.

Not much was said as we sat in the waiting room. I had tried to get some sleep but after the reality had finally hit me and I'd got a break down, I couldn't really sleep. My mind was going through the worst that could happen and I couldn't think of anything but the worst.

Even though I was Jimmy's wife, his family, the doctors wouldn't tell me anything about his condition and it was killing me. I had no idea what was going on with him and if he even was okay. I had to tried to keep my hopes up, even though I was expecting the worst.

The night turned into morning and I fell asleep, only to get woken up by my mother a few moments later.

She was shaking my shoulder as I flinched awake and looked at her.

”Honey, I got you some breakfast,” she said quietly and handed me a cup of coffee and a donut.

At first I pushed the food away because I really didn't feel like eating anything. But then I remembered that I was pregnant and I had to eat for the baby. And then I remembered that not even my mother knew about the baby.

”Mom, uh, there's something I need to tell you,” I mumbled.

She stood up and grabbed my hand and started pulling me outside.

”Where are you going?” I asked as we stepped outside.

The cold, fresh air reached me and felt good against my skin.

”I need to have a cigarette,” she mumbled and pulled out a lighter and a cigarette from her bag.

I stared at her in shock and watched as she lit up the cig and inhaled the smoke.

”Mom, what the hell are you doing? Put away that cigarette,” I demanded.

”Honey, with all this stress... This makes me relax,” she said with a shrug.

”Jesus christ, mom. You don't even smoke!”

”I have smoked before you and your sister were born. And every now and then, when I'm feeling down, I like to have one or two cigarettes,” she explained.

”I cannot believe this,” I mumbled and shook my head.

”You should try too. Just this once,” she said.

”I can't. That's what I was trying to tell you earlier. I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant,” I told her.

Her eyes went wide as she looked at me. Then she threw the cigarette away and pulled me into a big hug.

”Honey, that is amazing news!” she exclaimed and pinched my cheek. She was smiling widely.

”I know. I didn't get a chance to tell Jimmy, though...” I mumbled and my face fell as I thought about it again.

”Hey. Let's be positive, now. I'm sure everything will be just fine,” she told me.

I nodded and sighed.

”I hope so.”

When we walked back inside, the atmosphere in the waiting room was terrifying.

Everyone was crying and staring at a person who was standing in the middle of the room. It was the doctor, Jimmy's doctor.

”What is going on?” mom asked as she grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly.

”It's Jimmy. He's...”

Now, I never got the chance to hear what the doctor said because I fainted.

Everything just went black and boom, I hit the ground.