Just Like Heaven

At home, we all sat in the living room, eating snacks -cookies and cakes- that people had made for my mom. My mom had, had my dad's Will read before I got there, and she was ready to give me what my dad had left me. I was surprised, still, that my dad thought about me enough to leave me something.

"It's a little bit of money, Morgan," my mom handed me a check, "we didn't have a lot--"

I stopped her, "It's alright, mom, I don't really need it."

She nodded, "But, your dad would want you to have it."

I smiled nicely, hesitantly taking the check. I didn't bother to look at it, I just folded it and stuffed it into my skirt pocket. 

"You're leaving on Saturday?" Max asked.

"Yeah, I guess so." I shrugged, "When the weather clears up."

"Morgan, I think you should buy a house." My mom said suddenly, "With the money your dad left you."

"But, you said it wasn't much." I wondered what she was getting at.

"Well, it's a lot," she laughed softly, "I want you to buy a house, a proper one so when we all come to visit."

We all come to visit? What the hell?

"Oh...ma, I don't know. I'm not very good at remembering to pay my rent on time."

"C'mon, M, you only live once!" Brendan encouraged this; I shot a glance at him, then looked down.

"Maybe...you know the economy is down."

"All the more reason to get a big home at half the price." My mom was ecstatic.

Maybe she was on drugs.

"Maybe." I said again, stretching it out, "I have to see."

"I think it'll be good for you." She continued to smile.

I had a feeling she was up to something.

Later that night, I went up to my room and called Paula. It was about 11 in LA and I hoped she was still awake. I wasn't surprised when she answered with a gasp.

"Hey! How are you, chicky?"

I smiled, "I'm okay, how are you?"

"Just fine, but you-know-who came over twice asking where you are, but I didn't tell him anything."

My smile faded, "Did you tell him anything else?"

"Hmm...I told him to fuck off."

I laughed, "He called me this morning and I said the same thing."

"Why the hell is he calling you? He broke it off, right?"

"Yep. I don't know why either, and I don't care, as long as he doesn't keep calling."

"So, when are you coming back?"

"Sunday. I think I'm gonna buy a house, too."

Paula laughed, "Whoa, moving fast, are we?"

"My dad left me some money, and my mom suggested a buy a house, y'know, so when they all come to visit."

"I thought you and your parents didn't talk."

"I know, we never did, but my mom just opened her heart to me, and I guess they just...had a rough time with each other and took it out on me."

"You forgave her?"

"Holding a grudge against her would be idiotic and childish. Forgive, but never forget."

"So everything is smooth sailing?"

"Yep."

"How about your liver or whatever?"

I chuckled, "I'm good, I feel great."

"No drinks when you come home, alright? But we're still gonna party."

"Party for what? It's September."

"I dunno...to just have some fun!"

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, sure."


For the next several days, my mom urged me -quite a lot- to talk to Luke. Luke was over, everyday, and he and I struck up a friendship. He was very kind, and I didn't seen him anymore than a friend. I think my mom was hoping for more; no such luck.

I still thought about Mikey, every night, and it sucked. I didn't like thinking about him, because it made me sad. I wanted him, and he didn't really want me; I couldn't change someone's feelings. 

And, I didn't want anyone. I didn't want a boyfriend until...I don't know. I didn't want to have a boyfriend until I was ready. 

Anyway, the weather cleared up, just as the weatherman had predicted and I was ready to go home. I was kind of dreading it, I gotten used to letting my mom tend to me, now I would be doing it all on my own. She was the one to drive me to the airport, which I didn't mind one bit; she and I had gotten close...somewhat.

"Can I ask you about your ex-boyfriend?" She asked as we began to drive to O'Hare airport.

"What about him?" I really, really didn't want to talk about this.

"Did you love him?" She looked at me, then back at the road.

I knew she would know if I were lying; I'm a terrible liar, "Yeah, I did." 

Again, the emotion began to hit me in my chest. I tried to hold back tears, my chest tightened and I held my breath. 

"Morgan, it's alright." She put her hand on my shoulder.

"I really, really loved him." I sobbed quietly, "I'm sorry, I just..." I tried to stop myself, but I couldn't, "I wasn't good enough for him."

My mom sighed and pulled over, off the freeway ramp. She turned to me, "Morgan, just let it out."

I began to cry and pulled my knees my chest, sobbing. My mom patted my shoulder, then unbuckled her seatbelt and pulled me into arms. This was something I never knew needed; I needed more love to get over my broken heart.

Finally, after all my eyes dried out, I kissed my mom's cheek and thanked her. She kissed my forehead and smiled, "I should've done that a long time ago."

The rest of the ride, I spilled my guts to my mom about Mikey. I told her about how we met, about our funny little dates, about the first time we made, the day he told me about his flaws and addictions. I trampled my pride and told her about meeting his ex-wife and mother, and about us making love in his car, and how I knew he was the only man I felt like I could fall madly and blindly in love with.

"Why didn't you fight for him, then?" She asked curiously as we pulled up at the parking lane of O'Hare.

I looked at her blankly, wiping the remains of tears from the corners of my nostrils, "Because, I can't make him love me. If he doesn't want me, then he doesn't want me."

My mom shook her head, "I think he's madly in love with you too, Morgan. He's just confused, and from what you've told me, he's very insecure." She faced me, "When you love someone, M, it shouldn't matter what others think. You loved Mikey, and cared about him before you knew about his fame and his former addictions, right?"

"Yes I did."

"Does he know that?"

"I don't know. I told him I didn't care about that stuff."

"And what his response?"

I licked my lips, thinking back, "He just smiled. He smiled and he kissed me."

"I think maybe you should call him back, Morgan. Tell him exactly how you feel, and how you feel about the situation. I believe he'll come to his senses and come back to you."

"And if he doesn't?"

My mom sighed heavily, "Then...he never really loved you in the first place."

I tweaked my lips, taking all that my mom had advised in. I hugged her, promising that she could visit as soon as I got the house that fit me and went on my way. On the plane, I didn't really have to think, or do anything, I was so exhausted from crying and telling the truth. I fell asleep before the plane even took off, and woke up as soon as it landed.