Jugular

I shifted, causing the panties I was wearing to ride up into my ass.

“Jesus, Frank! Do I really need to wear this lacy fucking girl’s underwear? It’s not like I plan on flashing your mom or something.”

Frank stepped away from pulling up the pleated skirt and looked me over.

“You never know, man. It’s better to over prepare than to get screwed ‘cause you’re wearing boxers under a skirt.”

I tugged the skirt down again, earning me a glare from Frank.

“What? It’s too fucking short!”

Firmly pulling it up yet again, Frank frowned, “If you keep messing with this, I’m gonna go out and buy you a sleeveless dress shorter than this.”

My eyes bugged out in horror.

Grinning, Frank bent over to get something from Gerard’s ‘Trunk of Wonders’ where he had been keeping this outfit. Standing up, Frank brandished a black bra.

“These are C-cups. I would’ve gotten bigger, but since you’re so skinny it’d be too suspicious.”

I shook my head frantically and tried to back away. When my back hit the wall, I remembered we were dressing me up in the small attic at my house, and not only was there not enough room to run away from the overly excited Frank, but the small teen was blocking the only exit.

“I am not wearing a goddamn bra!”

Frank pouted and stamped his foot childishly, “Mikey. You promised me you’d do this! You won’t make a respectable girl unless you have some boobs!”

“I still don’t get why you couldn’t get some guy to pretend to be your boyfriend. You don’t even like girls!”

“Exactly! If I chose a boy, he might fall for me and my charm, and then I’d really be screwed. Gerard is already too much for me to handle, I don’t need another one.”

Rolling my eyes at Frank’s arrogance, I snatched the bra from his hands. Once I got it on, I fumbled with the clasp, getting more and more frustrated as time passed.

Frank smiled at my struggling, “Here, let me help you.”

Right as he got up and began to figure out how to fit the clasps together, my brother took the opportune moment to walk in.

Right away, he saw us and grinned.

“If I didn’t know what was going on, this would be a seriously compromising situation. My brother, in a skirt and bra, having his best friend unclasp it, both of them flushed and warm, lusting for–”

“Gerard,” I cut in, beginning to seriously get freaked out, “Shut the fuck up.”

Frank’s nose wrinkled in disgust, “Ew. I’d never think you the type to have fantasies about your brother and another man, Gee.”

For a second, Gerard looked horrified at the accusation, but then quickly cheered up, “Oooh! You just called me Gee! What a cute nickname from my sweetie!”

I grinned at Frank as a look of horror-struck shock came over his face, “What’s this Frankie? Could you possibly be warming up to my brother?”

Snapping out of his reverie, he looked at me accusingly, “No! It’s just the first fucking letter of his name, dammit.”

I chuckled, thinking it ironic that now, when Frank was finally going to ‘break-up’ with Gerard in front of his mother, he seemed to have grown slightly attached to the pale vampire, despite all his vehement denials.

Frank pulled out a frilly blouse after he stuffed my bra and shoved it into my hands.

“You dress yourself. I don’t want your icky brother thinking any of his icky thoughts.”

I pulled on the shirt and looked in the full-length mirror.

“I look like a drag queen, not like a girl. Your mom will be able to tell it’s me.”

Frank waggled a finger at me, “Ah ah ah! You forget you’re also wearing a wig and makeup.”

I growled at him, “Fucker.”

Frank nodded, “I’m a top, after all.”

Gerard started to flail around, “What? Well, then, what are we supposed to do, Frankie-honey? I, too, am a top! How’re we gonna choose?”

Not even sparing a glance at Gerard, Frank started working on my make up.

“I’m not having sex with you, bat-boy.”

I looked suspiciously at Frank, “How the hell do you know what you’re doing?”

“I watch makeover shows and shit like that a lot.”

I scrambled away from him, “That doesn’t mean you know how to apply it to a person, asshole!”

Shorty here pouted childishly and crossed his arms with a huff.

“Fine. I’ll let your brother do it. Are you fine with that?”

I shrugged, “He’s done this before, so yes.”

Frank threw up his hands in frustration and sat down. “You don’t trust me, but you trust this idiot…”

Gerard grinned and wiped away the shitty job Frank had been previously working on. He started off with foundation, apparently to make my face softer and less angular, and thus more like a girl.

After several grueling hours (Frank later told me after I complained that it had actually been half an hour) it was done.

Looking in the mirror, I had to admit that I made a pretty hot girl. Both my brother and Frank agreed that if they were straight, they’d totally bang me as a girl. When my brother said so, I gagged a bit.

Anyways, after I was all straightened out, we set out for Frank’s house.

Frank loudly banged the door opened and called out for his mother, who came into the room. Gerard entered before me, and she enveloped him into a tight hug.

When she faced me, she squinted a bit and for a second I was convinced she had recognized me. But then, she promptly turned to her son and asked who I was.

Frank, fucking shining bright with his shit-eating grin proudly claimed that he and Gerard had broken up (insert face-cracking widening of grin here) and that I, this wonderful girl, was his new girlfriend.

His mother whirled to face Gerard, asking him fervently if this was true, when he nodded, smiling, she seemed to fall in a pit of despair.

“Oh, Frank, my baby! How could you break up with poor Gerard!” she cried out, swooning.

Gerard quickly cut in, saying he was fine, he and Frank were still friends and it was Gerard who had broken up with Frank.

Haughtily, she turned to me and began stripping me down with her eyes.

“Ay…Frankie, she’s so scrawny! Are you sure you really want to be with her? I almost don’t believe this! It would make more sense if you were with that nice Mikey boy…where is he anyway?”

I glared at Frank, who despite all my protests and attempts at persuasion had insisted that I dress up as a girl because his mother would so obviously never think we would go out.

I swear…as soon as I get out of this skirt…

Before Frank could answer his mother, Gerard piped in, “My brother is out on a date.”

Instantly, Ms. Iero deflated, “Oh? So Mikey is going out with someone too? Well, damn…”

She pinned me down with another look and turned to sweetly ask her son, “Do you think us girls could go out and talk by ourselves, hmm?”

I tried to send Frank signals that his mother would probably murder me, but he just grinned and nodded.

“Sure, ma. Gerard and I can stay here and watch TV, you and Michelle,” I cringed, “can go to the kitchen and talk.”

Before I could get a word in, I was gripped by my arm and pulled roughly into the kitchen. As soon as I got over the dizziness of being dragged here, I met the sharp gaze of Frank’s mom.

“Uh…yes ma’am?” I tried to make my voice go high without sounding ridiculous. I failed.

“Do you like my son?”

“Mm…yes…” I squeaked out.

“Do you plan on having children?”

I tilted away, beginning to freak out a lot, “Um…yes?”

She glared fiercely, “If you plan on making any babies one day, you keep away from my son.”

With that, I promptly stood up and ran out, I could hear the stool Frank’s mom was sitting on screech back as she attempted to chase after me.

Frank turned to look at me as I made my way towards him.

Not even trying to use a feminine pitch for my voice, I whispered harshly to Frank, “Get me the fuck out of here. NOW.”

Staring at me as if I were insane, Frank nodded and got up.

“Yo, Gee, we’re leaving.”

I bolted to the door, Frank following, calling out a goodbye to his mom.

As soon as we got out, I took a deep breath in.

“Frank?” I called out.

“Yup?”

“Never bring over a new girlfriend or boyfriend unless it’s my brother.”