Awake and Unafraid

I awoke in a cold sweat, Gerard's arm still around me. The day's events came rushing back to me in a flutter. I shuddered with a chill, still in my short sleeves. Gerard awoke, his short, now black, hair tossled by the ceiling fan.

" 'Mornin." He mumbled, sitting up. I liked his arm around me, its spot now felt icy.
"Morning." I replied. He smiled, it made my heart melt.
"Holy Shit!" Gerard cursed, looking at me in sheer disbelief. "Did we SLEEP TOGETHER?" He was incredulous. I blushed terribly, the warmth in my cheeks fueling my complexion with a fiery red.
"Yeah..er...shit." I looked at my feet. I wasn't sorry either. I liked it. To my utter surprise, Gerard started blushing as well.

"Er...sorry..it..uh." He stammered. His eyes shone with something, and I immediately became consicous of my own enlarging pupils. I started crying, aware that I had hurt him. I felt so foolish, like a little fangirl. I cursed myself. I hated what I had done.

"Oh. My. Gosh. I am SO sorry! Sooooo sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! It was late and I.. Oh My-" I paused. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"It's not the fact that you lept with me that pains me." He said, now crying. "It was the fact that I enjoyed it." He held me tight. "I'm sorry."

This hit me like the most tremendous thing that had ever happened. And for some reason I cannot perceive, I kissed him, the smoothness of his lips carressing mine ever so gently. I expected him to pull away and scold me, for it was so sudden. But he didn't. He put his hand behind my head, and pushed his lips harder against mine.

"This is so wrong. I shall never forgive myself." He muttered to himself. I laughed, as the pleasure raced over me in waves. I wrapped my thin and fragile arms around his robust neck. Gerard's soft touch sent me into a self-inflicted high. I ran my fingers through his tangled hair, and he started to kiss me again. I opened my mouth letting his silky tongue enter my eager mouth, The smoothness of him just utterly bewildering me, our lips fitting perfectly like puzzle pieces. His strong grasp held me up, and kept my knees from buckling. Oh, but how I love it! It is the greatest thing that will ever happen!

"Damn myself to hell, I should NOT have done that. I am so sorry. I just felt.."
"Lovestruck?" I finished, trying not to let my dissapointment for his untrue feelings show.
"You like me don't you?" Gerard mischieviously asked. I looked at my feet.
"Yes. It is SOOOO wrong, but I do." My face fell. "You don't like me back, do you."
"Does this answer your question?" He said, and before I could think, he gripped me into the most passionate kiss I have ever known to be. I melted in his arms, not caring anymore.

I groaned in utter pleasure. Moaning as he moved down to my neck, spine tingling in happiness. This was my first kiss, and I want it to be my ONLY kiss, no one else shall lay lips on me, except the gorgeous man before me. I swore.

He kissed me behind the ears. I moved skillfully back to his lips, which were eagerly waiting for mine. There was no dirty or vile things in that kiss, just pure, innocent love. I kissed him with ultimate longing, with all the love I had within me. He hummed to himself, smiling, and his eyes were closed gently, as if a giant burden had been laid to rest.

"Whatever you do," Gerard started, wrapping his arms around me. "Never let go. And never forget me." I softly kissed him, briefly, and he waited, anxious for more. I put a slender finger over the spot where I left off.

"Don't worry." I traced the outline of his back, rubbing it with gentle motion as he held me. I felt him get hard. "I won't"

The boys came in.

"WOO!! Who's the master now, Ray!" Frank was screaming, Guitar Hero 2 in his hand, dissconnected of course. I smiled. Gerard's face fell.
"That's nice, Frankie." I placently said. This was going to be a long day.

****This is as romantic as it gets. Deal with It.****