Crash Land.

“You seriously clapped?”

Liliana tore her attention away from the vintage Harley Davidson shirt to turn to her friend. She studied her smirk on her lips and a look of surprise on her face. She simply shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly.

“Yup,” she spoke popping her ‘p’ at the end of the sentence for emphases. “So how’s this?”

“You look like white trash.”

“Perfect.”

She pulled the shirt off the sales rack and resting it on her shoulder. “What did your brother say?”

“About?”

“Austin.”

“Nothing,” she said with a shrug before turning to her friend and with her hands fisted up tight she slammed it into the girls arm.

“What the fuck?!” she yelled getting odd glances from everyone in the store.

“That’s for not telling me.”

“I didn’t know he was going to be there,” she said with a look of shock on her face. “Your brother isn’t exactly the best at communication. Something that apparently runs into the Ramos family,” she said with a roll of her eyes.

Liliana simply threw her middle finger up in the air. “How’s that for good communication?”
Jaime rolled her eyes but never letting her smile fall from her lips. She missed her friend. She missed her loud, obnoxiously bitchy friend more than anything.

“I missed you.”

She let the words slip out only to receive a roll of eyes and a loud sigh from Liliana. “Fuck, I know I’m amazing but do you really have to continue with this fluff shit.”

Jaime rolled her eyes again before storming off. Liliana watched her friend with amusement before a genuine smile spread to her lips. She knew Arizona wasn’t considered her home, her home was found in Texas. Texas was where she was born and raised. But, she never considered home Texas. California would never be considered her home. She felt more out of place than anything. California was her escape. California was a bit of hope to find a home or any sense of the meaning, but she never did. But as she turned to her best friend on the phone with her brother complaining about nothing and everything at the same time, she felt an odd warmth fall over her. Being with the two people that actually meant a shit to here felt more like home than anything else. She wasn’t going to lose it.

“Tonight we’re going to a party.”

“Alright,” she said with a shrug looking out the window as her best friend continued on with the drive.

“It’s one of Austin’s friends.”

“Cool.”

“Some guys he has been touring with.”

“Alright,” she said sounding the least interested.

Jaime rolled her eyes wanting to gossip but her friend never gave her the pleasure. “What is wrong with you?!”

Liliana tore her eyes away from the sky before turning to Jaime with a smirk on her lips. “Shall I give you the list?”

“Why don’t you want to know anything about your ex-boyfriend?”

“Ex-boyfriend?” she asked in confusion.

“Austin!”

“Austin wasn’t my ex-boyfriend Jay,” she said with a slight chuckle. “He was just a guy I had a bit of a thing for, if you could even call it a thing.”

“Oh don’t give me that shit Lils, it was more than a thing.”

Liliana shrugged her shoulders. “It was a long time ago, I don’t even remember.”

It wasn’t a lie. Being with Austin seemed like a dream, almost like it never happened. She tried her best to rack her memory of the feelings she once had anything at all but nothing but blanks were produced. She didn’t understand how someone so pivotal in her life could be so easily forgotten. But Liliana had a knack for forgetting, especially when it came to her feeling.

“You should listen to his music.”

“Why would I do that?”

Jaime threw her hands up in the air before slamming them down on the steering wheel. “You drive me completely nuts.”

“Are you coming on to me?”

“Always girl, always,” she said with a wink allowing herself to laugh through her frustrations. “We never got to talk about the boy back in California, how did that end?”

“He went back home and I moved on to another pretty blond.”

“So are you going to pretend that one didn’t mean anything to you, or are you going to lie again?”

“Jay, I know you really wanted to have some kind of girl talk with me about feelings and shit, but that just doesn’t happen. I’m sorry. I like to talk about sex not relationships.”

Jaime rolled her eyes but continued to laugh. She knew her friend well; she just hoped that maybe being apart for so long her need to vent and cry about boys would surface. Much to her dismay, it didn’t. Liliana Ramos was still Liliana Ramos.

“Here we are babe, now get the fuck out.”

Liliana smirked at her friend not even the slightest offended by her words. “You’re not coming in?”

“I need to go get ready. You guys have a bit of a full house and I’m not really in any mood to sleep with your brother on the couch while the princess gets the comfortable bed.”

“Me or Austin?”

“Both,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “Are you sure you don’t want to listen to his music?”

“If I listened to it this once will you leave me the fuck alone?”

“No, not really but it will be one less thing I’ll bug you about.”

Liliana stared down at the bright pink IPod being handed over. She groaned inwardly before snatching it from her hand.

“Give it her you little girl,” she said in a deep voice mimicking a line from one of her favorite movies. “Now get off my ass bitch,” she said opening the door and stretching her leg out the door, the warm Arizona sun hitting her bare legs.

“Don’t forget your white trash gear.”

“Never,” she said grabbing her bags from the back. “I love you Jay Jay,” she sang before slamming the door.

“I hate you Lily!” she yelled before driving off.

Liliana chuckled to herself shaking her head at her friend’s antics as she made her way to the apartment. The moment she walked through the doors of her brother’s apartment, she was met with complete silence. Not a single asshole in sight, her brother included. With a bright grin of excitement she made her way to the bedroom. She threw the bags to the floor before jumping on the springy bed. With a sigh she stared up at the ceilings trying her best to remember how she once felt when she was around Austin but much like all the other times there was nothing. With a groan she found herself plugging in the hot pink IPod into the dock and finding Austin Gibbs in the artists.

Tell me you’re coming home, someday. She felt her lips curl up into a smile hearing his voice through the speakers. Tell me you won't be back for a long time. Tell me you'll break me up. Tell me you'll cut me off. Tell me you'll try to quit. Tell me you never want to hear my voice again.

“Would you like an autograph?”

Liliana wasn’t even fazed by the sound of his cocky voice. Liliana didn’t dare move or open her eyes. She merely smirked to herself before licking her dry lips.

“Not bad Gibbs, not bad.”

“Did you Google me?”

“Don’t flatter yourself asshole,” she said with a chuckle before letting her eyes travel to his. “Jaime tried to have girl talk and this was the only way to shut her up,” she said before listening to the line being repeated over and over again on the track.

Am i wasting all my breath, am I wasting all my time?

“Though I have to say with these lyrics, I feel like I’m having girl talk.”

“Why is that?”

“Bitches bitching, the definition of girl talk and this song,” she said fluttering her eyes close.

Austin only laughed before entering into the room taking a seat on the corner of her bed. “You haven’t changed at all.”

“I have, my boobs aren’t as nearly as small as they once were.”

“God has finally blessed you with a pair of jugs.”

“More like Doctor Beal.”

“Really?”

“No, dumbass,” she said with a chuckle sitting up to take in the boy she once knew, in.

Her eyes wondered over his unruly hair, the softness and texture just begging to be touched. She let her green eyes travel down to his light brown eyes and then further down to the smile on his soft lips. She felt her body heat up at the mere sight of him.

“Are you coming tonight?”

“I don’t really have a choice.”

“No, you don’t,” he said with a laugh before patting her rough hands on her bare thigh causing an explosion of chills to run down her back. “This is one of my favorites,” he said nodding his head towards the speakers.

“I’ll be sure to listen to it over.”

“You look really good, Liliana.”

“So do you Austin.”

His lips curved up into smirk as he bowed his head in her direction before walking out the door. The breath that Liliana was holding in at the feeling of his skin against her was finally released. She shook her head trying her best to calm herself. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back onto the soft pillow allowing herself to listen to the song that as playing softly.

I can’t disguise my love for you. And yes, I held her a little too tight. She rolled her eyes at the repetition of the sentence And yes, I held her a little too tight. And the suddenly she felt her body stop and her heart skip a beat. She stared over at the IPod in confusion. She didn’t understand what the overwhelming feeling was inside her as the line burned through her head. But she continued to listen to the song.

That night we drank so much and felt half dead. And the pot we smoked led us straight to your bed. I’m not gonna lie, I kissed you on the head when you fell asleep in my arms. Saw your face on the computer screen. Your blue eyes looked like they were turning green. Sometimes love can be so mean. I’m throwing up the pain. I can’t disguise my love for you.

And suddenly it all came back with a simple line. One line to change everything she fought so hard to fight off.

She said, “I love you boy, but the timing just ain’t right.”

Her memories of Austin Gibbs.