The Way We Were

February 24th

Amidst all of the talk about the breaking news of my divorce, I stayed out of the spotlight until I attended the Oscars. In the white McQueen gown that was originally supposed to be my wedding gown, I held head high and walked the red carpet solo.

I smiled and carried on as I normally would and laughed and joked during the interviews and did my best to hide my hurt. I presented the award for best male in a leading role, which Jean Dujardin won for The Artist, and mingled with the stars that shared my social status.

But the most relieving part of the night was being at the Vanity Fair party. And just as I did during the interviews and being on the red carpet, I socialized and had great conversations with the guest at the party.

While I was talking to Madonna and talking to her about her nominated film W.E, I noticed Ryan and Eva not far from where I was, but I tried to keep my focus on talking to Madonna. But again my eyes wandered and were caught by my new friend across the room. Chris was talking with some other people just as I was, but he smiled when he saw me. I smiled back and excused myself to go say hi to him.

He excused himself too and we met each other halfway.

"Hi." I smiled.

"Hi." He smiled back. "Can I get you a drink?" He asked.

"Sure." I replied, and just as I did he picked up a glass of champagne from a waiter walking by and handed it to me.

I lightly laughed, "Thanks."

"You look beautiful." He smiled, looking me up and down.

Again I laughed, "Thanks. You're looking very handsome yourself."

He laughed. "Do you wanna go sit down?"

"Yeah."

We went and took a seat on a sofa not far from Brad Pitt and Angelina. Chris turned his body toward me and had a slight smile. "How are you?"

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled, "I think I'm okay."

He nodded.

"I'm really glad you're here." I smiled.

He chuckled, "Yeah, I'm glad we went to the same party." He lightly placed his hand on mine; on the hand that no longer had a ring on it's finger. "So what are you gonna be doing now?" He quietly asked.

"Well, I'm going back to New York for a couple days and then I'm going to England. I signed on to do a movie over there, I'll be gone for four months." I replied.

He lowered his eyes but quickly brought them back up to meet mine. "Oh. That's, that's great. You know, getting away from everything will be great." He nodded. "What film are you doing?"

"Les Miserables. It's a musical, I've been cast as Fantine." I lightly smiled.

"Wow, that's really great. I'm happy for you."

"What are you gonna be doing?" I asked.

"Well the premiere of The Avengers will be soon, and then I'm gonna go straight into filming for the sequel for Captain America." He answered.

"That sounds awesome, I'm so excited for The Avengers." I lightly laughed.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'm a such a geek when it comes to Marvel movies and comics. I've always been a huge fan of superhero films." I chuckled.

"Are you serious? That's awesome, most girls I meet aren't interested in stuff like that." He chuckled.

I shrugged my shoulders and laughed, "I'm not like other girls."

"I can see that." He smiled. "...You know I'm really gonna miss you when you go to England...maybe we can keep in touch."

"Of course, I really wanna do that." I smiled, gently squeezing his hand.

He just smiled. "Are you gonna be okay?"

I thought for a moment and looked down at the floor, listening to the jazzy music playing over the speakers. I soon looked up at him, "I will be. But can you do something for me?"

"Sure."

I softly smiled, "Can you dance with me?"

He smiled back and nodded, "Of course." Still holding my hand he stood up as did I and he led me out onto the dance floor pulling me into a slow dance. He made me laugh as he swept me across the dance floor and twirled me around.

This was a great way for me to spend my last night in L.A, dancing the night away and spending time with friends. And going to England wasn't all that bad, I was actually looking forward to it. I knew that I needed time away from here and I knew that I needed to have time to heal. But right now I just wanted to be in the moment. Dancing with Captain America, drinking champagne like Marilyn Monroe, and finally being able to feel like I was the queen of my own heart. I just needed time away for now. But I'm gonna be okay, I know it.