The World Inside of You

"Okay you lot, clear out then. Just remember I want that essay done by Friday at the latest, anyone who hands theirs in late will be downgraded. Now, enjoy the rest of the week and try not to get too drunk!"

As the rest of the class spilled out of the door in the typical rowdy fashion, Greg was busy putting his papers in his briefcase. I watched him and perched on the edge of my desk, watching the way his hair fell over his eyes and his glasses slipped down his nose just a fraction. I'd thought Greg, or Mr Williams as we were supposed to call him, was gorgeous ever since I'd set eyes on him. He had the bad boy smirk that I'd always loved, since I was a pre-teen, and the quick wit that matched my own. Of course, it soon got around he was a total player and slept around with the students and that didn't help. But for the first six months of the course, I was with Parker. Thought two months ago, that had changed.

"Hey Zane," he lifted his head and smiled at me when he finally realised we were alone. In two strides he was in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist and planting feathery kiss on my lips, cheeks, jawline, neck. As it always did, my heart skipped a beat and something stirred in the pit of my stomach. "I want you."

Greg's voice was low and gravelly, his eyes hooded and looking at me in that way that made me feel if situations could change, we could really be together. But then the band around his finger glinted in the sunlight and the shiny, happy bubble surrounding us popped and I pushed him away.

"We need to talk," I murmured, staring at my feet. They were clad in battered, red Doc Martens, my favourite shoes.

"Yes we do," his voice was still seductive and breathy. "We need to be alone again, Zane. I want to touch you, taste you again. Fuck you again."

"We can't," I avoided his eyes, knowing I couldn't resist him. It's how we'd hooked up in the first place. It was a total rebound fling, but over two months of sneaking off and stealing kisses I'd started having feelings for him. And he was my Kryptonite. "We need to talk."

"There's time for talking later babe," he was still planting kisses on every spare bit of skin he could find. He grabbed my hand, planting a kiss on each knuckle. "Please, you know how hot you get me."

Greg grabbed my hand and pressed it against his crotch, letting me feel how badly he wanted me. I suppressed a groan, forcing myself to tear away. Because I wanted him, just as much as he wanted me, but it broke my heart a little inside knowing it was just sex for him.

"Greg, please-"

He cut me off by forcing me against him, kissing me hard. Our teeth smashed together, his tongue probed my mouth and mine joined in, no willpower left as he moaned into my mouth; his fingers curled in my hair and his hips bucked against mine. I knew if we kept this up we'd be having sex right in the middle of the classroom. As our lips broke away for just a second, I summoned myself up and pushed him away.

"I'm a Carrier," I blurted out, my chest heaving and my breath coming out in little pants. My legs felt unstable, and I slumped against the desk again. "I'm a Carrier."

"What?" Greg frowned, even though I'd repeated myself. His face was all crinkled up; he took a step back and sent me a angry look as if I'd been deliberately hiding this from him. "When did you find out? When? How?"

"I only found out this week..."

"How? How did you find out?" He grabbed me by the shoulders, right up in my face and shouting.

"I'm pregnant," I whispered and he let go of immediately, staring at me with wide, horrified eyes. I started crying as he just stood there looking at me. "I'm sorry."

"Is it definitely mine?" His voice was a whisper too, rasping and dry. "Are you sure?"

"There was a two week gap between Parker and you," I sniffled, wiping away my tears. Greg knew all about what had happened with my relationship, he knew everything that had happened and didn't judge me. He could be a total arse, but he was kind at heart.

"Have you told him?" Greg's voice shook even more; I could see the start of tears in his eyes too and his shoulders were trembling. I shook my head as he slumped onto the floor and put his head in his hands. "What am I going to tell Alice?" He stifled a sob.

"I'm sorry," I perched down beside him, resting my head on his shoulder. He pulled me into a tight embrace. "I'm sorry."

"It's my fault," he muttered, sniffing to himself. "I was the one who betrayed her. Hurt her, and hurt you as well. I'm an idiot."

We sat like that for a while, thinking to ourselves. He knew about Parker and I knew about his wife and kids. Jack was four and Amanda was seven months. I also knew ever since he got married to Alice he'd been having casual flings, but never one that turned into an affair. Until me. Even if between us it was pure lust that fueled us.

Eventually the sun started to set outside and without saying anything we left the classroom and headed down to Greg's car. We didn't drive anywhere, just sat in silence; both of us with red, swollen eyes and a guilty conscious.

"I'm going to have to tell her," he said eventually, without looking at me. "But I have to know, Zane. Between us, what do we have?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you consider us more than sex? Because I do. I genuinely like you. I mean, you're fucking gorgeous and a great fuck but I like you as well. I'm just, bad at showing it I guess."

I stared at him, my mouth hanging open a little. It had come out of nowhere, and I had no idea he felt that way. I managed a tiny little smile which he returned before rubbing my stomach.

"We won't know for sure until after he's born, but I hope he's yours," I said honestly, and Greg pulled a face. "I know how much trouble it would cause... but I'd still prefer it."

"So, where am I dropping you Mr Le Guin?"

"Not mine," I muttered, my heart heavy. "It's time to talk to Parker."