A Smile So Genuine

It was harder now that we were back in L.A. We had been back now for a couple months. Josh signed for a new movie so I didn't get to see him all the time. That was more than painful. I, on the other hand, was beginning to write my new album. I didn't need to do anything but write, so my days were nothing short of empty. I wrote the best under these conditions. But having empty days made me miss Josh that much more.

I hadn't seen him in a couple weeks, but we tried to Skype everyday. Yesterday, I got to meet his co-star Vanessa Hudgens. She popped into his dressing room while we were talking. I was happy he had someone there to talk to. I remember doing movies were I had barely any human interactions besides Lisa, Kelly, and Henson. Sometimes movie cast weren't as friendly to each other as they are usually depicted in the news.

My house sounded so quiet in the late afternoon. Usually Kelly and Lisa were gone by then and I was all alone. I used this time to write all my songs. I had a room in my house where I retreated to when I needed to be alone. It was on the highest floor with windows that peered out into the area surrounding my house. It had wooden floors with soft purple walls. There was couches everywhere, and pillows all over the floor.

Numerous guitars were placed around the room, with a baby grand piano tucked away in the corner. My favorite spot was an indent in the wall that had window seat right next to the piano.

It was peaceful there. I had written every song from my last album in that room. I was currently cuddle up next to the window, guitar in hand, trying to write a song for the Catching Fire soundtrack. They asked me after we stopped filming, and it was suppose to be done by the end of the week.

I liked the feel of my guitar under my fingertips. I liked how they vibrated every time I hit a string. I pulled the my sleeves up, placing my guitar on my bare legs. I was only wearing underwear and a baggy, light grey sweater. I rather enjoyed the cold breezes that passed through the room from the fall weather.

I looked down at the words I had written, trying to fit them with the melody I had in my head.

" Don't you dare look out your window darling, everything's on fire. The war outside our door keeps raging on." My voice echoed through the room, breaking the still silence. I closed my eyes, trying to picture the emotions of Peeta and Katniss. They were conflicted, confused, but in love.

I sighed, writing down another set of lines. I set the guitar down and pulled my knees to my chest. It was grey outside, a fuzzy mist layering the air. I pressed my forehead to the window, enjoying the cool temperature of the glass. I fiddled with the ring on my left hand, twirling it on and off.

It was a simple gold heart attached to a small band. Josh had given it to me before he left for New York. He told me it was to remind me of him. As if I could ever forget him. I closed my eyes and smiled, letting my mind fill with memories of us.

He was so charming, so honest. He always had this optimistic, playful manner to him. He found such happiness in life, it couldn't help but rub off on me. I remember the time he took me cliff diving. It wasn't actually a huge cliff, but I was still scared. We were in Washington for some thing for Catching Fire. I remember him holding me against him, describing what it felt like. "Like flying. You forget where you are and just let go. It's like for just one moment, just one second, you're free from everything but yourself."

It's strange how a simple moment can have such an impact on your life. I'd never forget that weightless fall or how free I felt. It's like with every minute I'm with Josh, he reminds me of a piece of myself that I had forgotten or never found. I have met hundreds of people in my life, people who have told me how to act, who to be, or how to think.

Josh never did that though. He'd just wrap his arms around my waist and whisper "Be who you want to be." And that's all I ever needed, to know that who I am is something of worth. To remind me that I have so much to live for.

I heard the footsteps before I saw him. Standing in the middle of the room, looking as sexy as ever, a bag placed on the floor next to him. He was wearing my favorite; dark blue jeans, a white tee-shirt that hugged his frame, and a black leather jacket. His hair was disheveled, slightly wet from the rain that I could hear pattering on the window beside me. His crooked smile was plastered on his lips as he tilted his head to the side, staring into me with those beautiful hazel eyes of his.

I couldn't move for a moment. I didn't believe he was actually there. My eyes trickled from his eyes, to his lips, to his broad jaw line, down to his out stretched arms. A felt butterflies in my stomach as the realization of his presence hit me.

"Josh!" I screamed as I ran towards him, jumping into his arms. He lifted me up and chuckled, pressing his lips against the side of my neck. I stood in front of him, gripping his forearms as he held my waist.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were in New York! You just called me last night!"

"I took a plane over." He grabbed my face and pressed his lips to mine. He kissed me feverishly and urgent, making me dizzy. I couldn't believe he flew across this country to come see me. This is why I love him so much.

"Josh, you can't just take a plane over! You were across the country!" He rubbed my sides up and down, shaking his head. "Charlie, I came to see you. Do you know how much I missed you?" He chuckled and pulled me to his chest. I felt his lips against my hair. "You smell just like I remember you do."

I laughed into his shirt. "You were gone for a three weeks, Josh. Not a year!" He pulled back and pretended to be hurt. "I guess you didn't miss me huh?"

He hung his head low and folded his arms across his chest, faking a sob. I rubbed my hands against his stomach, gripping his shirt between my fingers.

"Of course I missed you Josh! Don't be a goon." He smirked down at me. "What's that you called me? A goon?"

I stepped backwards from him chuckling under my breath. He took a step towards me and before I knew it, I was thrown over his shoulder.

"Josh, let me down!" I banged my fists against his back. He chuckled and brought me over to the couch and dropped me, pulling me into his arms.

"You look beautiful, Charlie." I sighed against him, tangling my fingers into his.

"You look quite sexy, Josh. I hope you don't look this way back in New York."

"I can't help it if I'm super attractive Charlie!" He smiled down at me, moving me so my head was in his lap. He ran his fingers through my scalp, sending chills down my spine.

"God, I missed you doing that. Don't stop ok? So tell me why you're actually here."

"Can't a guy come and see his girlfriend?" I raised my eyebrows at him, causing him to laugh. "Alright, alright. I have a week break. So I definitely wasn't gonna spend it in New York without you. What have you been up to, babe?"

"Writing the song." I glanced over at my notebook. It was not gonna be done by the end of the week, what with Josh here.

"Finally writing that song? Since when have you known about it?" I slapped his chest making him chuckle. "I'm kidding! What do you have so far?"

I shrugged. "Not much. I was writing it when you walked in."

We sat like this for a while, recapping what happened over the past three weeks that we didn't already know about. It felt so good to have him back.

"So Charlie, what do you think about coming to that premiere with me on Friday?"

I stared up at him. "With you?" We had been an "unofficial" couple for a while now. Even the picture on the talk show didn't completely set our relationship in stone. Nothing was ever confirmed by our managers. They always just said we were close friends. We were of course followed by paparazzi everywhere we went, constantly snapping pictures of us holding hands and going places together. But showing up at a premiere together would cause a frenzy.

"Yes, I would love to." Who cares if they knew? It was time to tell the world anyways.