If We Can't Break The Silence, How Can We Survive?

The day passed by so quickly and it was now fifth period, the class I had with Gerard who was now walking towards me. I looked away and pretended I didn’t notice his presence when he sat down next to me. He tapped me lightly a few times on the shoulder and it started to annoy me, so I rolled my eyes and looked at him.

“Hey, Frank. I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for yesterday. I…I don’t know how to explain but…look, I don’t care about those assholes okay? I don’t care that they see me around, helping you or whatever. I think you took yesterday as a big misunderstanding.”

He looked so cute when he talked, the way his lips went off to the side and licking them repeatedly. He also spoke with his hands a lot; always pointing his hand (not his finger) at his chest when he spoke about himself and pointing to me when he said "you". He was very liberal when he talked. You could tell he meant what he said.

“I don’t think anything of you that’s uh…um-negative, I guess. I could care less that you have a disability. I actually think it’s pretty cool,” he chuckled. I smiled, biting my lip to refrain myself from grinning like a mad man. He didn't think i was a freak or weird or anything! he thought it was cool! And he apologized...I guess I had been a little too judge mental on him. I felt like an asshole for all the times I ran away from him.

“So yeah, I finally get to talk to you about the project. You’re always running away from me, I didn’t think I was that scary,” he laughed again. I just smiled and shook my head in turn of meaning something along the lines of “nahh, it’s not that” or, “oh yeah, about that...“.

“Well if I did anything to you, I’m sorry. So yeah, the project. I was kind of hoping that we could maybe…go to the library, or maybe I can go to your house or something. I know you finished it and everything, there’s just some things that I want to go over. I don’t know why you did it all by yourself, I want to have my part in it too, so I just want to add a few things on the paper so I can have some sort of credit for it. What do you say?”

I was kind of nervous to go anywhere outside of school with Gerard. I mean, I knew he was gonna try to talk to me or some shit like that, and I really didn’t want to ignore him if he did. I was tired of embarrassing myself in front of him. It;s all that I have been doing. And i decided; he can look up what he needs to at his house if he wants, I don’t see why I have to be there.

He was still waiting for my answer, I looked at him and shrugged my shoulders while raising my eyebrows. He then gave me a confused look so I just shook my head as to say no. His face fell for a second but then he looked up at me with a a cocky smile.

“It’s a date,” he said, getting up and leaving the classroom as the bell had rang. A date? Did he really mean that? Well what did he mean by that? Was he...no, no-that's silly. He was probably just joking. I mean, guys always joked around like that with their friends right? Of course, I wouldn't know 'cause I didn't have any. That was probably what it was. As much as I really would have wanted it to be a date, I just didn't want to believe that he meant it. But whether he did or not, he was going to come to my house and I didn't know what to do!

We were sitting at the table having dinner once again. So far, it was going great. No yelling or arguing, or anything from Liz. Well, nothing bad. It was around seven at night and Gerard never came. So I guess he was just messing around. Apart of me was secretly hoping that he meant what he said, calling it a date and all and actually coming over, but I think it was better off this way. I was actually developing some sort of feelings not for him, but towards him, if you get what I mean. He seemed like he actually cared what I thought of him and he really wanted me to know that he was sorry. For the past week he had been trying to talk to me and he even bothered to help me after what had happened with Vic.

And he actually wanted to be near me outside of school, which I found kind of surprising ‘cause I thought he didn’t really dig the idea of us being partners the first time I met him. Even though we’ve ‘talked’ or had some sort of encounter for only three days, he really wasn't what I expected. He was very nice, which meant a lot to me because people ignore and avoid me like I’m a disease or something. I mean, I wasn't hated or anything. But no one really cared to look or talk to me. People just thought of me as non-existent, or probably didn’t think of me at all. He tried to get my attention, which meant a lot. But I didn’t know enough about him to actually like him in that kind of way, so at the moment I just liked him as a person.

“So Vic is coming to pick me up so we can practice our cheers for tomorrow. Is that okay with you dad,” Vic asked while her mouth was full. I was glad to see her eating today, she looked like she was starving by the way she was stuffing her food into her mouth.

“Yeah, I guess that’s okay. But I don’t want you to come home late. You better be in before midnight, understand?”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks dad,” she said while kissing his cheek. Blegh.

Just then the doorbell rang.

“Ooh, that’s Vic. I’ll get it,” said Liz who was walking out of the dining room and to the front door. I honestly hated Vic with a passion and every time she came over, this whole wave of hatred flooded through my body. I could understand that Vic was understanding towards Liz when she wanted to be, but if I had a friend that would be a bitch to me just to ‘put a good look for her, I wouldn’t even talk to them. What Vic was doing was really shitty and Liz didn't deserve it. And not to mention how she embarrassed the hell out of me yesterday, not only in front of all the kids in the hall, but in front of Gerard as well. That just made me hate her more than I already did.

I was looking down at my plate, seeming interested in the food that sat there as I heard Liz walking into the diner room. I didn’t even bother to look up and see them walk in ‘cause I really didn’t want to see Vic’s stupid face. But who I though it was, wasn’t who I expected it to be.

“Well, you’re not Vic. Who’s your friend Liz,” asked her dad.

“Umm…this is Gerard, he goes to my school. He’s here for Frank.”

My heart froze as I heard Gerard was standing just before me, but I just stayed looking down at my plate until someone gave me some sort of attention. Liz picked up a roll and threw it at me. It hit me in the head and I looked up to see Gerard standing there, with a smile on his face that showed all of his teeth. I must say, he looked mighty gorgeous when he did that, but now was not the time to be thinking about that. We were about to be alone and I was nervous as hell. Liz’s mom then started talking.

“Hello Gerard. I don’t mean to sound rude but, may I ask why you’re here…for Frank?”

Oh well that’s just nice.

“Oh yeah, um- well I was going to call, but I didn’t think that would make much sense…we have this project due sometime next week and well, I’m going to be busy tomorrow with the basketball game and I was kind of hoping that Frank and I can go to the...library and find some information or whatever it is that we need…to…umm-look up…”

I could see that Gerard probably thought he looked and sounded like an idiot right now. Honestly, he did sound a little idiotic, but it was very cute seeing how shy he was. You could tell that he was either very bad with parents, or very bad at lying.

“Yeah that’s fine, just don’t bring him back late. And please take care of him, we don’t want anything bad happening to him,” said Liz’s mom. What am I, five?

“Yes Mrs. Johnson, thank you. And it was nice to meet the both of you.” Just then the door rang.

“Okay, that’s Vic,” Liz stated while going to answer the door. Gerard looked at me, making sure we made eye contact.

“Okay Frank, you ready,” he asked while making this cute face. I nodded my head, probably having a retarded look on mine, and stood up walking over to Gerard. The Johnson’s said their byes to us, and we made our way to the door. On our way there, Vic looked at Gerard, kind of shocked to see that he was here for me, but nonetheless, gave him a flirtatious smile while saying hi to him. He somewhat ignored her, but he acknowledged her saying hi back in a yeah-yeah-whatever-manner. The look on her face was priceless and I snickered very lowly, smiling a little to myself. Gerard just totally blew her off for me. Well not for me, but because he was with me.

I doubted we were going to the library because it was already closed at this time. Was he really going to take me out on a date? Of course not Frank, don't think such stupid thoughts. But if we weren't going to the library, then where were going? Well, definitely not out on a date. Shut up stupid conscience, you're getting my hopes up. Only to keep your from getting your hopes high. Hmm, well that was very true.

As we made it to his car, Gerard turned me to face him just before I got in.

“We’re not going to the library. I figured we'd go out and probably learn a little more about each other, yeah?”

He had this look of hope in his face of wanting me to say yes. Although, I’m sure if I had objected, he wouldn’t have taken no as an answer anyways. I rolled my eyes while craning my head back and stepped into his car. He smiled at my response of a yes and got in the car too, turning it on and driving off.