Passed Out on Your Lawn

The next night should have left me feeling empowered and proud but instead I was faced with a slow motion horror movie. It was beyond my control; the actors’ script couldn’t be altered, it was too late. I was prepared for the worst, the best and the mediocre but not this.
I came from the girls bathroom after changing back into jeans, behind one of the other girls called Jersey. A chair went skidding by us from across the bar floor and I shot my gaze to where it’d come from. My face must have drained as I found Max screaming at some guy and Ronnie trying to push him backwards and away while still yelling shit himself. I sprinted over instantly.

“What the fuck is going on?” I shouted, “Max?” my tone was still loud but earnest.

In response he glared at me like I walked over his grave and that left me feeling what having cold blood run through your body must be like. The room went quiet aside from the music and Max shoved Ronnie’s grip from his arm and stormed out of the bar.

“Looks like your little boyfriend isn’t man enough to handle a woman like you,” this anonymous club rat commented with a filthy smirk.

“You better keep your wise ass mouth shut,” Ronnie glared at him furiously and wheeled around.

“Whoa! Go talk to Max, I’ll be right out.”

“What the fuck, are you gonna make me?” he asshole retorted a little too late towards Ronnie.

I shoved Ronnie away and spun on my heel to face this guy and cocked my arm back before full on clocking his jaw with all I had.

“Fuck you asshole! Handle that!” I growled and followed the guys outside.

“Dude that wasn’t her fault,” Ronnie stated firmly, defending me!

“What the fuck am I meant to do? I can’t deal with that shit!” Max flared angrily.

I was almost lost for words but choked out, “I’m sorry. I should have never asked you to come.”

“No, you were right to. Cause now I know everything,” Max spat. “I won’t be home tonight.”

“What do you mean you know everything?” I shrieked as he walked away.

He simply put his hand up as if to say ‘conversation over’. I looked to Ronnie for clues but he was no use and stared at the sidewalk.

“Max!” I yelled on the spot but he ignored me and carried on. “You’re a big fucking help! What am I supposed to do?” I shoved Ronnie’s shoulder.

“He’s gonna make you choose,” he shrugged and walked away after my boyfriend.

“Well thank you very fucking much, Radke!” I cried before actual tears stung my eyes.

Veronica and Jersey stepped outside and led me back in knowing the exact trouble, as it wasn’t unheard of for these things to occur.

**

Escapism was on the menu in the form of Jagermeister and bitchin’ tunes.

“So don’t take me home baby na-na-na-na-na-na. Cause your mamma won’t like me!” We sang together as the cab pulled up outside my place as some dumb ass time in the wee hours.

“My preoccuption is makin’ love uh-uh-uh-uh. I got a bad reputation for playin’ it rough, I like your stimulation but that aint enough!” Jersey warbled.

“See you guys later!” I passed someone a note of money, I don’t know how much then opened the door and fell out onto the sidewalk. We all giggled and the cab pulled out after the door was closed again.

I crawled up onto the front lawn and began a song of my own…

I lay staring at the stars for quite some time, god knows how long, and then I heard heavy footsteps. Contemplation of finding out who it was occurred but moving was no fun so it failed to commence. As the footsteps neared it sounded more like faltering paces than steady ones, like more than one person. My eyes searched the space above me until I saw Ronnie and max holding each other vertically.
My mind scattered and lunacy spilled out.

“Don’t need nothin’ but a good time, how can I resist? Don’t need nothin’ but a good time and it don’t get better than this!” I sang to the imaginary music.

Max and Ronnie dropped to the grass either side of me and I grabbed their hands.

“Say I spend my money on women and wine, but I couldn’t tell you where I spent last night,” we sang together.

I sighed loudly, “I love you guys.”

“Yeahhhh,” they agreed simultaneously like they always used to. We had our little blast from the past.

I dropped their hands when I couldn’t remember any more lyrics, turned onto my front and crawled to the door on all fours.

“Dakota get up,” Max was trying to pick me up but I refused.

“No!” I shook my head, “I will not be carried anywhere, it’s undignified. I can crawl by myself,” it made sense to me. besides I was only on my hands and knees, not dragging myself like a broken puppet.

We all got into the living room and I collapsed on the floor. Passed out for real.

**

I woke to music playing. Light stung my eyes so I kept them closed and already knew I must have drank twice my body weight in liquor because I was still drunk. I recognised the song to be some version of Cherry Bomb and didn’t bother to move and instead just soaked up the music.

Max didn’t speak to me all day and I was too ill to break the silence and continue the war. Well until the end of the night.

“I suppose you getting in a fight was all my fault?” I asked.

He was in our bedroom half-heartedly playing guitar at the time.

“It was about you,” he sighed as if that fact weren’t obvious. “I just don’t think I can deal with guys saying shit like he said after seeing all-“ he cut himself off and gestured towards me, “of you.”

“Come on he didn’t see any of me, not like that. I’m not a stripper and I never will be.” I stated carefully.

“That was still too much,” he shook his head, more tense than a ninja.

“What are you saying then? I have to quit?” my heart dropped.

“Sorry, Dakota. It’s me or the pole,” Max got to his feet and left me stood there like a lemon.

“How can you do this to me?” I turned around, hurt and almost ashamed.

He’d made me feel like some slut as if that’s what I truly was.

“Can’t you just forget I do it? Not get involved?” I begged, going after him.

“How long will that last, huh? How far are you taking this?” he snapped back at me from the stairs.

“I don’t know. Max, please!” I cried.

“Ya know what, Dakota? I’ll take that to mean you don’t chose me,” he growled and rushed out of the house.

Did I just get dumped? What the fuck happened?

I was furious and confused. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t know what I’d be crying over. Shocked, I thoughtlessly dashed after him. My body was doing without instruction. What control could an empty head have? Non.

“Max!” I yelled “Did you just break up with me?”

He was halfway down the street but turned to face me anyway.

“Yes I just broke up with you. Congratulations for getting the fucking picture, Dakota!” he yelled back and continued stalking away.

“You asshole!” I yelled at the top of my lungs down the empty neighbourhood.