Passed Out on Your Lawn

Within minutes I’d steadied my breathing to deep breaths and eventually calmed down. I climbed off of Ronnie’s lap and went to dry my face by the mirror. My eyes and complexion were horrifying so I pushed my hair to cover up as much as I could.
When I turned around I could see Ronnie’s confusion with a tinge of amusement.

“Dee, what the fuck are you doing? You look like Cousin Itt,” he mused.

“My face looks worse than usual. Leave it alone,” I mumbled.

Knowing I wanted to be alone right now I felt a little mean for kicking Ronnie out but that’s the only way to succeed in getting much needed space.

“You want me to stay or go?” he asked as if reading my mind.

“I need some time to myself I think. Thank you though,” I uttered quietly.

“That’s ok,” he rose up, “call me if you need anything though.”

“Ok,” I nodded. “Uh…do you have a number for Max?”

Now I felt worse for basically blatantly favouring Max over Ronnie after he’d just dealt with my hysterical behaviour.

“Yeah,” the disappointment in his voice wasn’t screaming but it was clear enough.

Ronnie scrawled a number down for me then looked up blankly.

“Thanks. I’ll walk you down.” Awkwardness choked me as we silently made our way to the front door.

“I’ll come check on you tomorrow,” he swallowed hard and quickly hugged me.

“You don’t need to do that,” I smiled shyly at his compassion and returned the hug.

“I want to though. See you then,” Ronnie left me on the doorstep and I waved him off.

The house was now empty and it felt cold. Even though I needed to be by myself I was already lonely, it was a catch twenty two, so decided to attempt my call.
I was nervous as questionable thoughts as to why I’d heard nothing from Max already swamped my mind. Maybe I was too much to deal with and he needed a break. Maybe he wouldn’t wanna talk to me and make up an excuse. What if I had the wrong number?

“Hello?” a woman answered on the other end of the line.

Holy shit I’d dialled absentmindedly.

“Hi, um, I’m not sure if I’ve got the right number but uh is Max Green there?” I stuttered out.

“Oh yes honey you have the right number. What’s your name? I’ll go get him,” the lady chimed pleasantly.

“Its Dakota,” I smiled to myself that I’d gotten this far.

Phone calls, especially to strangers were not my strong point.

“Dee?” Max’s voice gushed down the line.

“Hey, Max. How’re you doing?” I asked, glad to hear his voice.

“Sucks so much. I miss you,” he replied causing my heart to skip a beat, “This whole learning business is a drag. I just wanna come home and hang out with everyone. My aunt is being as cool as an aunt can be though. What’s new with you?”

I took the information on board and giggled before replying, “Well Bryan said you told him to entertain me anddd we had a fun time today at Ronnie’s but then my mom ruined it all. She’s being an ass all of a sudden and I ended up crying to Ronnie cause I’m so lame,” I sighed.

“What happened?” Max asked with concern.

So I explained everything and bless him he listened to my ranting rambling dramatics.

“Don’t worry about a thing,” he said once I’d finished, “When I get back everything will be back to normal and she won’t be all rules and shit if you’re with me. And if she has got a new boyfriend and he gives you trouble then I’ll take care of it,” Max announced.

“Oh my god, you’re insane,” I giggled, “You’ve no idea how much I miss you.”

“Not as much as I miss you, trust me. Uh I mean…I miss everyone ya know. Its how I get, real homesick,” he must have realised how he sounded, surely he doesn’t miss me that much. That’s not possible.

“Yeah, I guess I know what you mean. You sound like you literally wanna take down my mom’s boyfriend. I don’t think that’d be so easy,” I smirked at the notion of some forty year old dude getting up in my grill and Max re-enacting the scene from Footloose where Kevin Bacon randomly flying kicks some guy in the face.

“I’d at least try if I had to,” he said seriously.

“Hiyaaaahhhh,” I made that strange karate noise the fighters make and laughed, “You don’t need to do that. I have no honour to defend."

“I think you do,” Max sounded a little surprised, “Sorry, my aunts calling me. I have to go. Your birthday is coming soon, when is it exactly?” he asked quickly.

“Forget about my birthday, seriously,” I ordered, “Oh yeah you better call me back at some point if you miss me so damn much.”

He agreed and I rattled off my number before we exchanged goodbyes and hung up.

I sighed to myself and took a tub of ice cream to my room where I fell asleep thinking of all the nice things Max said and how cute he sounded when he said them (then feeling a bit over heated at the same time…seriously weird).

**

I woke up to music growling into my eardrums. It was something horrendous like Mushroomhead or Slipknot, I don’t know but its assault was deafening. I pulled the plug out of the back of the CD player as a quick fix, wiped my face with my hand and no doubt smearing black kohl across my visage in the process. I peered up and nearly shit myself when I saw Ronnie leaning against my wall by the record player.

“Whoa what the fuckkkk,” I stared at him.

“Boo?” he chuckled.

“What the fuck,” I repeated and sat up, “How did you get in?”

“If I tell you, you’ll freak out so lets keep it a secret. Your moms still not home by the way,” he responded.

“Huh, go figure,” I checked the time, which was ten AM and shrugged. “What’s gotten you here so early then?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Ronnie shrugged, “Now go make me breakfast!”

“Make your own damn breakfast,” I stuck my tongue out.

“You’ll regret saying that,” he sang before sprinting out of my room and down the hall.

“Oh fuck what’ve I done,” I grunted to myself and slid out of bed, “Ronnie you five dollar whore, don’t you dare screw with my kitchen!” I yelled.

When I got to the room he was lay across the counter though hanging off the edge and scraping two large knives together.

“Fuck my life,” I muttered and shook my head, “Put down the knives, man.”

“Only if you make me breakfast,” he glared playfully.

“Ok fine. What do you want?” I caved in.

Obviously Mr Radke had to be difficult and ‘order’ omelette.

We ate breakfast and then decided to watch a film in the living room…continuing to eat our choice of unhealthy and badly timed snacks (I mean who eats fries before midday seriously?)

“So did you speak to Max last night?” Ronnie asked about halfway through Silence of the Lambs.

“I did yeah,” I nodded and took a sip of my milkshake.

“What did you talk about?” he continued.

“My mom’s cock,” I said flatly.

“Come onnn Dee, tell meee,” he nudged my shoulder with his in a rhythmic pattern.

“Why are you so interested?” I turned myself from the corpse on-screen to his mischievous expression.

“Just wanna know,” he shrugged then suddenly his eyes went wide and a grin took over his lips, “Are you guys secretly dating?!” he almost jumped up in excitement.

“What? No!” my pitch went a little too high to come off as cool and collected.

“Really…do you like him then?” Ronnie continued his obnoxious inquest.

“Fucks sake no. Its non of your damn business even if I did,” I pouted a little with my lie.

“Do you like meee?” Ronnie made a strange little face and I internally sighed.

“Of course I like you,” I paused before adding, “I love all you guys,” and watched his face drop.

“You like me most,” he nodded to himself.

“Damn how old are you like twelve?” I rolled my eyes.

“I’m seventeen actually,” he laughed.

“Really?” I stopped to be serious for a second and looked at him, “Figures. But you still act like a baby.” I smirked.

There was a few seconds of silence in which I could figure out where we were in the movie before Ronnie had to interrupt again.

“So how’re you enjoying our first date?” he asked in a staid tone.

“We’re not having a date, Ronnie,” I told him with an eye roll.

“Oh…well what would you do for a date?” Ronnie stayed calm rather than unleashing more of his previous giddiness.

“Really…uh…” I considered the question, “Most people would go out for dinner and a movie…I’d rather get take out and play video games or watch a movie at home,” I shrugged.

“When shall we do that?”

“We could probably get take out later,” then my attention diverted from the film we were watching entirely as I realised what he’d just done, “Excuse me we are not on a date or having a date later.”

“And why not?” Ronnie pouted in defence but the way his face softened made me melt just a little bit.

“Because…because we’re friend we don’t date,” I struggled to say as I felt mean but also confused.

Nobody had ever said anything like this to me. Ok yeah fifteen, almost sixteen years old and I’d never been near a guy, big whoop! It was new ground for me and it was scary.

“I bet you’d go on a date with Max,” Ronnie said quietly.

“Fucks sake. Fine,” I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want anyone finding out how I felt about Max; that could do so much damage.

“Fine what?” Ronnie stared at me.

“Fine we’ll do this date thing later,” I mumbled.

“May as well say it’s already started,” he grinned in triumph and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

Nothing else was said as we silently continued to watch the film.
I couldn’t concentrate on it though. So much was going through my head, so many questions. Why was Ronnie doing this? Did he really like me this much or just making a joke? I tried to convince myself he wasn’t trying to make a fool of me. And knowing that I’m almost in love with Max I really shouldn’t be conforming to this. But maybe that’s taking it too seriously. What about the tiny chance that Max likes me too? After the way he was on the phone last night it’s a possibility right? Uh hello of course not! Good things don’t happen to me, guys never like me. If only I had a mother I could ask all of these questions. Oh no lets not think about her right now.
I am fucked.