Hang Me Up To Dry

--John--

I spent the night at Rianne’s apartment and headed home the next day. I had to tell my parents.

“You got her pregnant?” Ross said after he grabbed me and dragged me into his room. He looked disgusted, but mostly hurt.

“Yeah I guess I did. Are you still harnessing this passion for her? After all this time?”

“I can’t just forget how I feel about somebody. Especially since she broke up with you.”

“If you’re trying to piss me off, you’re doing a pretty good job.”

“John, I was legitimately in love with her. I was so close to being with her and you ruined it.”

“I ruined it? You don’t think I’m in love with her?”

“I know you are. But after you screwed things up with her and had your whole rehab stint, she was as good as mine.”

“Ross, back the fuck off. You think you can take her from me now? How did you even find out she was pregnant in the first place?”

He turned his laptop to where I could see and her new profile picture was one we took yesterday of the both of us.

“If Sam had never told me anything, I might possibly have never known that I had a child,” I said more to myself.

“Maybe she didn’t want you to know because she didn’t want it to weigh you down.”

“You know that’s funny, she said the exact same thing. But what if you fathered a child and your baby mama didn’t tell you and just gave it up for adoption?”

“Are you really ready to be a dad, John?” He asked me seriously.

“Y-yeah.”

“Yeah? That wasn’t so convincing. She’s almost nineteen, you’re twenty-two, is keeping this child really the best thing for the both of you right now?”

“Honestly, I’m not ready to be a father…” I started to head out of his room. “But let me tell you something, Rianne and I will take care of it together, ready or not.” I left his room and went to go find my mom in the living room, watching TV with my dad.

“John, I didn’t realize you came in.”

“Yeah about fifteen minutes ago. Mom, Dad, I gotta talk to you about something.”

“What’s wrong, Son? Are you in some kind of trouble?” My dad asked, finally prying his eyes away from the baseball game.

“Not really…”

“What do you need, Hun?”

“So um, you remember Rianne, right, she was here for Christmas?”

“Your ex-girlfriend?” My mom asked.

“Not ex per say. We’re back together now. Anyways, we are expecting a child together.”

“Oh my God, John,” my mom groaned. “How far along is she?”

“…About five months.”

“Five months! John, what the hell! Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”

“Because I didn’t know. She broke up with me because she didn’t want me to know, but her friend told me and I went to go see her yesterday.”

“She lives in California now, right?”

“Yes. But she’ll be back in less than a month.”

“Bring her over to the house, John. Let her feel like part of the family,” my dad said and continued watching the game.

As I walked out of my house, I could feel Ross watching me from the hallway. Eyes boring into the back of my skull. I love you, brother, but you’ve got to let this go.

--Rianne--

A few days passed since John left my apartment and it was time for my graduation. I didn’t really know how this graduation would work, considering there were only 14 of us in total and I didn’t know if they were all done with their internships.

I was on my way back to Arizona at the moment and the ceremony would be in two days. I’d be staying at John’s apartment until then.

“Were you really just going to give our child away? Without looking back?” He asked me when we were cuddling on the couch together.

“It sounded okay in my head. I just really didn’t want you to find out.”

“You shouldn’t be so scared to talk to me. I’m not as scary as you think.”

“You’re terrifying.”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and John got up to answer it, considering it would take me a year and a half to stand up.

My mom came inside the apartment. I was confused. “Rianne?” she asked, looking at me covered up by a rather large blanket.

“Mom! What are you doing here?”

“Uh hello, graduation? Is your father here already?”

“No…I didn’t know either of you were coming.”

“Well don’t be a stranger, get up and hug me!”

Now would be a good time to explain to everyone that I hadn’t told my mother yet. It must have slipped my mind.

John was looking at me, frightened for his life as he started backing away, but walked over to me as he could tell I was having a hard time then helped me up as my mom gaped.

“Hello, I’m John, Rianne’s boyfriend,” John said awkwardly.

“Uh-huh…” She couldn’t stop staring at me. “W-when did this happen?”

“About five months ago.”

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“My original plans didn’t include anyone knowing.”

She looked at me blankly. “Rianne Michelle Martin, what on earth were you thinking? Is there anything else I should know about? Tattoos, drugs?”

“No Mom, this is it.”

“I just wish you would have told me,” she said and gave me a reassuring hug.

“Yeah me too,” John muttered.

“Shut up, John.”

He smiled cheekily and my mom turned around to look at him. “So you’re John, huh? Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too, Mrs. M- I’m sorry, what’s your last name?”

“It’s actually Wolfe now. But you can call me Karen.”

Later on that day, my dad informed me that he was in town and he was going to take the three of us out to dinner, and of course my mom told him my news so he wouldn’t flip shit when he saw me. I was grateful to her.

When I walked into the restaurant holding John’s hand, I saw my dad shift in his chair and try to hide his hostility. He shook John’s hand and sat awkwardly next to my mom.

“Karen, long time no see.”

“John, you too.”

Was it weird that my dad’s name was my boyfriend’s name, and also his dad’s name? No? Okay. Didn’t think so.

The dinner wasn’t as uncomfortable as I would have thought. My parents didn’t talk to each other, they just talked to us and there was no awkward silence.

“So, John, great name by the way, what do you two plan on doing now that you have a baby on the way?” My dad asked after he finished his steak.

“Uh…” He looked at me as he chewed his spaghetti. “I haven’t really thought of that yet. We’re kinda taking things as they come right now.”

“Are you going to move in together? Get married?”

“John, don’t pressure them,” my mom said.

“Karen, I just want to know,” he said, sounding annoyed.

I looked at John and smiled as he looked back at my dad. “Only if that’s what she wants to do.”

“Is it something you want to do?”

He didn’t answer for a moment, he just sat there smiling to himself. “Yeah. I do. But only if it’s okay with you.”

“Well no need to ask my permission, Son. You already have a kid on the way.”

I grabbed his hand and he kissed it as my parents looked at us in awe.

The truth was, I didn’t want to get married. Yeah, maybe someday, but I was still eighteen, almost nineteen and this wasn’t the seventies where you could just do that and have it be successful. But if John were to propose in the near and present future, I would have to postpone say three years. Maybe longer.

I never thought of getting married when I was with John. When I was dating Jake, it was all I could think about. I’m going to marry this person and he will change for the better, once he gets what he wants. But that was it, once he would get what he wanted, he could just leave. But it was still odd how the thought never crossed my mind of getting married to John. But now that it was brought to my attention, the insight intrigued me.

Then came the pessimistic cloud, hovering over my head telling me that this wouldn’t last because of what he does for a living. I just wish I could get over the fact that troubled my brain and accept things as they are: real.

John was the father of my child and no one else could replace that, not even Ross. I began to contemplate at this moment why on earth I was thinking about him at a time like this. Go away, Ross O’Callaghan.

We got back to the apartment some time later while my parents went to separate hotels and John put his arm around me as we sat on the couch and held me tight. He took out his iPhone and took a picture of us, me with my tongue out and licking him and him with a cheeky grin, then he set it as his profile picture.

“You like causing a ruckus, don’t you?” I asked.

“I like to let many be disappointed.”

“You’re going to get me killed.”

“I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

I kissed him then rested my head on his chest that moved steadily up and down. “John…have you thought about adoption?” I said suddenly.

He looked down at me as I looked up. “Seriously?”

“John, think about it. Are you ready to be a father?”

“I will be when the time comes.”

“See that’s the thing. People take time and plan things out; they don’t wait to be ready until you’re in the delivery room. I know I’m not ready to be a mother. I’m about to start my career; I won’t have time to take care of this child.”

“So you just want to give it up for adoption? Like it’s no big deal?”

“We both know that we’re in no state of raising a baby. Please think about this,” I said and got up to go to the bedroom and go to sleep.

Two days later, it was finally graduation day. John had been acting really irritant for the past few days because he knew what I wanted was right; he just didn’t want to admit it.

We got in the car and drove to the Tempe campus and he stayed in the rather large gathering room while I went into the back room with the rest of the 14 people.

It was a rather quick ceremony. The teachers and other people who helped us along the way said a few things then we all went to the makeshift stage and received our diploma and certifications. I felt so accomplished. I looked out into the crowd and saw both my parents with Ryan sitting in between them, Sam, John, and Ross. Ross? What the hell are you doing here? I almost tripped on the board that was sticking up.

There were only three people left after me then we were congratulated and set free into the cruel music producing world. Maybe John could help me find a job.

I carefully walked over to my loved ones and John kissed me quickly but his arm remained around me as I saw Ross become agitated.

“Congratulations, Ri!” My parents said then Sam attacked me in a hug, knocking John’s arm off of me.

“Watch out, Sam, I have precious cargo.”

“Oh yeah I forgot. I just thought it was the freshman 15.”

“More like the freshman 25.”

We all ventured to Kabuki in a few different cars and Ross grabbed my arm before we went inside and I insisted John go ahead without me.

“Can we talk?” Ross asked.

“I don’t see why not.”

“I’m still not over you.”

“We were never together.”

“What about the day before John was released from rehab?”

I became silent and slightly embarrassed. It’s true that I told Ross that I couldn’t be with him while I was caring for John, but a few days later he came back to my apartment and things went farther than they should have.

“I was nervous and upset, Ross. Don’t look too much into that.”

“So you just normally sleep with people when you’re feeling that way?”

“Well, no…”

“Then admit that you feel something for me too.”

“I do, Ross. I really love you. But only as a friend. You’re my boyfriend’s brother. Things went too far between us.”

“You regret me?”

“God, no. You were there for me when I needed you. You’re just not the person who’s meant for me. And that’s who John is.”

He nodded his head and swallowed loud enough to where I could here. “I get it. I was just a tissue to you; you used me and now you’re throwing me away.”

“Ross, please don’t get upset. There’s someone out there waiting for you, but it’s not me.”

We walked back inside and they were all sitting at a round table, me filling in the space between the Johns and Ross sat in between Sam and his brother. I looked at Sam and she blushed as he sat next to her. Maybe this could be a good thing.

Halfway through the meal, Ross became more and more detached from the rest of us so I texted Sam to start flirting with him. I nudged John to look after a few minutes of her working her charm and he looked back at me and smiled. It was working.

After dinner, Sam gave him a kiss on the cheek and Ross looked happier than ever. Thank God for that woman. My best friend.