Hang Me Up To Dry

I was so nervous. What if I didn’t do it right? What if he didn’t do it right? My mind was racing with so many questions. It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s just that I was so scared of not being good. I had no idea what to do.

“Don’t be scared,” he whispered in my ear then began kissing me again. My tension melted away after he said, “I love you.”

I knew then what I was doing was right. But before then, I could tell he was just as nervous as I was.

He practically tore my green dress off of me and threw it across the room then I took off his white v-neck and we made out for a good five minutes.

You could tell that we weren’t uneasy with each other anymore because we started to get more aggressive. I would claw his back or he would hold on to me tightly. Even though we were conducing pain for each other, it was still incredible. No matter how forceful we were, the pleasure that came out of it overrode it.

The next morning, I woke up in John’s bed and looked around the room. I saw my dress on top of the lamp in the corner and the sheets were completely un-tucked from the mattress. Somehow, his shirt had been strewn on the fan blade. Dang.

I looked next to me and John’s beautiful sleeping face was facing me. His hair was unusually messy (I wonder why) and he looked completely exhausted. I got as close to him as I could and put my head in the crook of his neck then I wrapped my leg around him and he woke up.

“I like the sight of waking up to you. That should happen more often.”

“Did you like our first sleepover?” I asked and he smiled and kissed me.

“I did. And I’m assuming you did as well?”

I answered him with an adoring kiss.

Throughout the following week, I barely spent any time at my apartment other than getting clothes. I was always at John’s. And we may or may not have been doing PG-13 rated things.

One day when John wasn’t there, I got a friend request on Facebook from a girl named Caty Dobbs and I saw that we had John as a mutual friend so I accepted. Instantly, she messaged me.

‘You’re John’s girlfriend, right?’

‘Yes. Who are you?’

‘I’m his ex…I was just wondering how the bet was going.’

‘What bet?’

‘The one where John bet that he could make anyone fall in love with him. You didn’t know?’

I closed my laptop and became extremely angered. Who the fuck was this girl telling me that John was in a bet that I would fall in love with him? Fuck you, Caty Dobbs.

When John came home, he set down a Best Buy sack on the counter. “This girl named Caty friend requested me today. You know her?”

“Yeah, Caty. She’s not really my ex because we never really went out, but we had something going on like a year and a half ago. But she annoys me. Did she talk to you?”

“Yeah. She said something about a bet, but I didn’t really listen to her.” When I said the word ‘bet,’ his face changed. Maybe I wasn’t right to overlook this.

“A bet? Why would she say something like that?”

I saw him cracking under the pressure. He was trapping himself. “I don’t know, but she said that you had a bet that you could make anyone fall in love with you.” My tone became more accusatory the more I spoke. He started to sweat. I started to feel the urge to cry.

“Rianne…”

“You bet that you could fall in love with me? What the fuck, John?”

“I admit I did start a bet with Kennedy and Jared that I could make you love me.” My worst fears confirmed, I started to cry. “But when I got to know you–”

“Let me guess, you broke off the bet.” He nodded. “Well you know what, John? Screw you. I thought what we had was real but you just fucked this over so bad.”

“I didn’t intend for things to be this amazing when I made the bet.”

“So you just thought you’d screw me? In more ways than one?”

“No, I wanted to be with you but you acted like you didn’t want me back.”

I wiped my tears with both hands and he walked over to me and cupped his hands around my neck.

“Don’t touch me, John.” I pushed him away. “Well congratulations, you won your bet. I fell in love with you.” I grabbed my laptop and keys and went down to my car. It wouldn’t do any good to go sit in the apartment next door.

I sat in my car for three minutes before I could see to drive. I didn’t know where to go so I just drove to a fast food restaurant in the middle of Tempe, parked and cried. Suddenly, I got a tap on my passenger side window. Startled, I looked and saw that it was John’s brother Ross. I unlocked the door and he got in and sat there quietly.

“Are you okay?” He asked finally.

I couldn’t speak, so I just shook my head.

“Does it have anything to do with John?” I nodded. “What happened?”

I sat there for several moments before I found in me the will to speak. “I was just a bet to him.” I busted out in tears once again.

“What an idiot. I would never include a girl in a bet. It always ends up like this.” I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. “I wish I knew what to say to make it better.”

“Yeah me too.”

We just stared at each other before we smiled randomly.

After having a little dinner with Ross and talking to him for a while, I drove myself back to the apartment and undetectably made my way in. Being this close to John really bothered me but there was nothing I could do about it.

I went through another week of work and class and realized I was burning myself out. I was stressed out from eight hours of work a day and thinking of John didn’t make it any better. Usually he helped me de-stress but you know, that wouldn’t really work now.

I still can’t believe he fucking bet on me. And after I…gave myself to him. Even though I didn’t want to talk to her, I had to so I called my mom.

“Hi Sweetie. How is everything going?”

“Terribly.”

“Why, Hun?”

“Because John and I broke up,” I said and a single tear came out. I thought all my tears were gone, but I was wrong.

“Ri, he’s just a guy. Don’t let him ruin your life and school experience just because things didn’t work out.”

“But that’s the thing, Mom. Things were working out so well then this bitch ruined everything.”

I never cussed to my mom before, but she didn’t seem to mind. “Did he cheat on you?”

“No, he bet his friends that I would fall in love with him and she told me about it.”

“He bet on you?”

“Yeah…And even though he stopped the bet when he was getting to know me–”

“He stopped it? Did you let him explain everything?”

“I didn’t have to. It still hurts.”

“I know it hurts, Ri, but unless you talk to him about what he realized when he broke off the bet, you’ll never be at ease.”

As much as I didn’t want to go talk to him, I figured my mom was right. So I knocked on his door but he didn’t answer. I tried to turn the knob and strangely it was unlocked so I went inside.

“John?” I didn’t get an answer. “John are you here?”

I pushed open his bedroom door but it stopped halfway because it was hitting something. I turned on his light and I saw the thing the door was hitting was him.

“Oh my God! John!” I slid in the room and he was lying on his stomach, the only thing he was wearing was his boxers, and there was blood on his face, the floor and his chest and there were different kinds of illegal things surrounding him. I rolled him over and checked his pulse and thankfully he still had one then I called 9-1-1.

I was incredibly angry at him still, but I cared enough about him to sit next to him in the hospital bed. I called Ross to let him know and in five minutes, him, Shane and their parents were there. Ross and I took a walk around the hospital.

“Do you know what happened?” He asked me.

“A near overdose I suppose. Luckily his door was open.”

“Luckily you knew when to go in.” We sat down in the food court. “Without you, I probably wouldn’t have a brother right now.”

“It just sucks that I can’t feel the same way about him now.”

“Do you still want to?”

I took a minute to think before I answered. “Honestly, no. He hurt me…badly… I don’t know if I could forgive him for something like that.”

“I can’t say that he did it with the best of intentions, but I can say that he was in love with you.”

“I know that. It all feels like a lie, though.”

John’s (and Ross’) mom came over to us. “Rianne, John’s awake. He’s asking for you.”

Unenthusiastically, I walked back to the room John was in and his eyes were shut when I entered. “Rianne…”

“Yes, John.”

He held up his IV-injected arm for me to grab. For some reason I held his hand.

“I wanted to thank you for finding me. When you left me, I thought about how badly I screwed up and I couldn’t live knowing that I hurt you like that.”

“So you tried to overdose? Is that really logical?”

“I was in a bad place.”

“So was I…you don’t see me being suicidal.”

“Anyways, I wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for you.” He stroked the back of my hand. “That being said, I have a favor to ask you and Ross.” As if on cue, Ross came in the room. “Ross, as you know, I’ve been battling the addiction of meth for a while now. I think it’s best that I go to a rehabilitation clinic for the time being. Because even though I’m aware of everything right now and came to this conclusion on my own, who’s to say when I go home I’ll fall into my old ways.”

“You want us to check you in?” Ross questioned.

John nodded. “Yeah. As soon as I get out of here. Besides, these doctors are going to make me anyway.”

Ross and I looked at each other and silently agreed.

Oh the drama that happens when you move to a different state to go to school.