Retrouvailles

Of all the Flyers players she interacted with on a daily basis, Ilya Bryzgalov held a special place in Loren’s heart. Never failing to bring a smile to her face, he was the first person she went to when she needed a laugh. He was a recent addition to her growing list of friends but he’d been more than happy to become a part of it. There wasn’t one person who worked within the organization he wasn’t on friendly terms with.

“I Googled you today,” he said to her. He’d been sitting opposite her at her desk, playing with a Rubik’s cube he seemed to have materialized out of thin air. “You on one of those mean websites.”

Loren raised an eyebrow. “Really? What kind of website?”

Ilya shrugged, clearly at war with himself. Did he tell her the truth—that a forum of Penguins fans had gotten wind of her relationship with their captain and were now ripping her apart without even knowing her—or did he sugarcoat it to make it sound like they’d found out about her but thought she was the most acceptable fit?

“The bad one.”

“The kind we tell you to tell your wives to ignore?” He nodded. “Ah, I see.”

She felt a lot of things at that moment. There was no point in wondering how her relationship had become public knowledge. The ability of women with Internet access to find out absolutely anything about anyone never failed to amaze her. Still, it didn’t soothe her growing fears. You couldn’t pay her any amount of money to snoop, to see what kind of outlandish things they were saying about her, and she trusted Ilya to not repeat them. Unless she asked him to, of course.

“Sorry. I should not have said what I did.”

Loren smiled. “This isn’t my first rodeo, Ilya.” When she noticed his look of sheer confusion, her smile slowly turned into a grin. “It’s a figure of speech. What I meant was it’s not my first time dealing with something like this.”

“You date hockey player before?”

“God, no,” Loren replied. “No offense, but I don’t know how any of you have wives or girlfriends. You’re so high-maintenance.”

Ilya shook his head. “You kidding? Women way worse, want diamonds and big house all the time.”

“I’ll keep that in mind the next time Sidney asks what I want for Christmas.”

Making jokes had never been her strong suit, especially when she was only doing it to cover up how screwy things were inside. She’d been given six weeks to enjoy her relationship privately, which was six weeks longer than most women got. Truth be told, it was a weight off her shoulders. She didn’t have to pretend, didn’t have to sneak around. Sidney, of course, got the short end of the stick. The situation did him no favors. Not only would his new publicist probably quit his job, Loren was comfortable betting that Mario would be furious. He’d fired her; Sidney turning around and making her his girlfriend made him look bad. What good came of any of this?

Loren didn’t care. As stubborn and headstrong as she’d always been, she’d be damned if she let a few catty women ruin her relationship simply because they wanted what she had. She almost let Rhea get away with it; she wouldn’t make that mistake twice.

“Hey, Bryz?” Ilya nodded to acknowledge he was listening, though his eyes never left the toy in his hands. “What would you do if you were in my position?”

“I’m goalie, Loren, not wife.”

“Pretend.”

He shrugged. “Show them why I’m best.”

He wasn’t talking about revenge or flaunting her relationship all over Pittsburgh. Ilya was too kindhearted to ever suggest something like that. What he’d meant, and what Loren knew was the right thing to do, was killing them with kindness. Don’t stoop to their level. Just because they were petty didn’t mean she had to be, too. But how was she supposed to do that without outing herself to those who didn’t lurk Internet message boards?

Sighing, she leaned backwards in her chair and folded her hands over her chest. Eventually she’d figure something out but it wasn’t tonight. Besides, she didn’t have only herself to think of anymore. She and Sidney were in this together. Unless the unthinkable happened, they’d come away from it together.

Or so Loren hoped.


“Your celebrity crush is Eva Mendes?”

Sidney looked at his girlfriend, who was laying across her bed as she flipped through a magazine. She didn’t look up at him as she asked; the only indication that she’d said anything at all was the smirk that was barely visible.

He’d needed to see her. After six weeks of falling asleep alone and waking up the same, he convinced Mario and Dan he had some things to take care of before playoffs started. They told him he had three days to get it sorted out and get back to Pittsburgh; he showed up at Loren’s doorstep that night with two dozen roses and a duffel bag filled to the brim with clothes.

“So what if she is?”

Loren shrugged. “No need to get your knickers in a twist. Didn’t she date that basketball player?”

“No, that was Eva Longoria.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah. They’re divorced now, though. Apparently he cheated on her or something.” Silence. Sidney looked up from the bag he was repacking and met Loren’s shocked expression. “What?”

“Why do you know that?”

“I thought everyone knew that.”

“Sidney, I’m a girl and I didn’t know that.”

Sassy as he was, he scoffed and shoved another pair of socks into his bag. “Maybe you should read more then.”

“Is that what you spent your free time doing—reading gossip magazines?”

“As a matter of fact,” he replied, rolling his eyes. “Did you know one of the Kardashians thinks I’m the cutest guy in hockey?”

“Oh yeah? Was it Khloe?”

“Very funny.”

“Seriously, though. Now that everyone knows we’re dating I’m going to write a book all about your deep, dark secrets.”

Sidney didn’t say anything. It was the first time Loren had brought up the (now very public, as far as the Internet was concerned) status of their relationship and he wasn’t sure how she was going to react. It was rare that any of his relationships got to this point, with him having to worry about the press and rabid fangirls finding out, but typically it went one of two ways: the girl either freaked out and broke it off as quickly as possible or she pushed him to make them even more public, assuring she’d be the talk of Pittsburgh for a while.

“Lo…”

She sighed and closed the magazine. “I’m not mad, Sidney, I just wish you would’ve told me.”

“How’d you find out?”

“Bryz, of all people.”

“I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Babe, dealing with things like this is my job. How good at it would I be if I couldn’t handle the tables being turned?”

“I didn’t think about it that way,” he answered. Two shirts were all he had left to pack. He zipped his bag and joined her on the bed. “I’m sorry. It just scares me to death to think—”

“Stop.” Sidney did as she said, pressing a kiss to his girlfriend’s lips to make sure he didn’t say anything else embarrassing. “I’m not going anywhere, okay? Especially not because of the media.”

“I thought you were the one who didn’t want to date me because of this exact reason.”

“It’s different now,” she shrugged.

That was an understatement. Six weeks wasn’t a long time, yet there they were, seemingly the happiest couple in the world. She’d been alone for those 42 days and it was then that she realized how badly she wanted—needed—to somehow make this work. The nights she spent alone in her bed, the mornings she woke up and the right side was cold and empty, having to watch Sidney play from her couch instead of from a press box in Pittsburgh…being hundreds of miles away made time irrelevant.

“Promise me something, Lo.”

She moved to fit her body against his; her head on his chest, his arm around her waist. With the sound of his heart beating in her ear, she would’ve promised him the world.

“Anything.”

“No matter what happens during this series—”

“Like if you lose?” Loren teased.

Sidney nodded, subconsciously clenching his fists. “Just…try not to think any differently of me, okay? I don’t really know how to lose.”

“I’ve already seen you at your worst. I don’t think playoffs are going to make much of a difference.”


Loren was wrong. Playoffs were an entirely different beast she had no idea how to tackle. All it took was the aftermath of game one to make her wonder if Sidney would remember the promise she’d made to him. Maybe it was a little premature to have promised him such things but she had no idea the effect the Stanley Cup could have. She only blamed herself; naivety didn’t look good on anyone.

Max had been the one to talk to Coach Laviolette about her coming to Pittsburgh with the team. He’d made up some story about how he’d been getting harassed by a woman he used to date while he was with the Penguins and since Loren had been there when they’d dated, he needed her to help him sort it out incase anything happened. It was bullshit. Anyone with two brain cells could put two and two together and get four and Lavy was no different. Still, he allowed Loren to travel with them and put her in charge of writing the advance/follow stories for the team website.

The Penguins blew a 3-0 lead and lost game one in overtime on a goal by Voracek. Sidney was understandably upset but he and his team still remained optimistic, confident they’d win the next game to even the series. All Loren could do was sit by and watch. There was nothing she could do besides be supportive (but not too much) and let her boyfriend take his frustrations out on her.

Loren had only been back in Pittsburgh a few days when the inevitable happened. She’d just stopped for coffee and decided to walk the rest of the way to Consol when a girl spotted her. She didn’t do anything at first, just dropped her jaw and started whispering to her friend. The friend was more aggressive, making her way over to the crosswalk Loren was waiting at.

“Excuse me,” the girl said. Loren figured she couldn’t have been older than eighteen. With her brazen confidence, Loren also figured she wasn’t the first person involved with the world of professional hockey this girl had approached. “You’re Crosby’s girlfriend, aren’t you?”

“Uh—”

“We’re so sorry to bother you,” the other girl cut in. “Please excuse her.”

Ilya instantly came to mind. Show them why you’re best. She’d always been the ‘kill them with kindness’ type…except when it came to Sidney. Until she got involved with the NHL, Loren hadn’t been good with confrontation. She’d never been aggressive until she had to be. Now, standing in the middle of a crowded Pittsburgh sidewalk, she didn’t know who she was. She was Sidney Crosby’s girlfriend. She worked for the Philadelphia Flyers. Her name was Loren Hamilton and she was from Erie, Pennsylvania. Who was she beyond all that?

“No, no, it’s okay,” she smiled, snapping back to reality.

“So you are his girlfriend.”

“Mel, stop!”

“Are you girls fans?”

“Duh,” Mel said, unzipping her sweatshirt to reveal her Penguins jersey. Loren had to stop herself from smirking at the C stitched into the upper left-hand corner.

“Going to the game tonight?” They both nodded. “Awesome. I have to run, but maybe I’ll see you two there.”

She smiled and waved, taking off as soon as the light changed and it was safe for her to walk. She’d handled it well, treated it like a press conference and feigned confidence as best she could. She was sure the encounter would be posted on the Internet but hoped she’d done a good enough job that they wouldn’t be able to say anything negative about her. If she was going to hold up her end of the deal she’d have to learn a thing or two about faking it for the sake of saving face.

Coffee in hand, she made her way into Consol like it was last October and she’d never been fired. So much had changed since then. Friends came and went, she got fired, moved 300 miles away and got a second chance to start all over. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, Loren was a different person now—a better one.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

Loren rolled her eyes and slapped Sidney in the chest with her free hand. “What time is your morning skate?”

“Ten-thirty.” Fifteen minutes to go. “You coming?”

“Sure.”

She didn’t mention meeting the two girls. Sidney had enough to worry about without her adding more to his plate. People were going to recognize her. More often than not they would approach her when they did. She couldn’t talk about every encounter or they’d consume her. Their relationship would be nothing but you’ll never guess what just happened and I just met this asshole outside and he said…

Just thinking about living like that made her want to throw up.

“Sid, wait,” Loren said, grabbing his arm to slow him down. “This is probably an awful time to tell you this, but—”

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“What? No. God, no. Just…remember when you asked who broke my heart?”

“Loren…”

“Do you want to know who it was?”

Sidney didn’t even blink. “No, now are you coming or what? Geno’s really mad that he didn’t get to see you after the game the other day.”

She didn’t deserve him. She knew that as soon as his back was to her and her started walking back to the locker room. But just because that was the blatant truth didn’t mean she wasn’t going to enjoy the ride while she was on it. She was happy. Sidney made her happy. And it didn’t matter what other people thought about her or their relationship. She may not have deserved him, with his contagious laugh or his warm heart, but she deserved to be happy.

No one was going to take that from her.