Catch My Breath and Go For It

Saturday April 30, 2014

It was a Saturday morning, the sun was shining, birds were singing. I didn’t have a hangover. Life was pretty damn good.

The doors opened and Rian walked in, smiling and being fucking beautiful, as per usual. I stood up from where I was sitting and he pulled me into a bear hug, lifting me completely off the ground as he did so.

“Easy, tiger!” I gasped, somewhere between laughing and trying to catch my breath. It’s never attractive.

Rian put me down and grinned, his hands resting on my waist. “Sorry.” The train lurched, and we both quickly sat down. Well, I fell into my seat. Graceful as always.

“So,” I asked, “What’s the deal with all the cryptic texts last night?” He laughed. It was beautiful.

“Well, Shaye figured half of it out,” He smiled at me, “But what would you say to me taking you to a movie?”

“I’d ask what movie we’d be seeing.”

“A truly awful one, starring Dakota Fanning.”

“It comes at a price, you know.”

Rian pretended to inspect his nails. This was doubly funny, considering he’s a guy. “Well, you know, it’s no problem if you don’t want the box of lindt chocolates… hidden under one of the seats...”

“Deal.” I stuck my tongue out at him. “You know, I would have done it for free.”

“I know.” He shrugged. I blushed furiously, as per usual. I’m pretty sure I resembled a tomato. Of course, Rian just grinned and ruffled my hair.

“You're too cute sometimes, you know?” I hid my face in my hands and he laughed. We chatted easily for the rest of the ride.


The train lurched to a stop at the Southbank station, and we walked out the doors. “So are we going to the movie first?”

“Yup.” We walked in silence for a while; it didn’t bother me, really. Southbank is actually really pretty once you look past all the Ibis’ and litter. But I started up a conversation anyway.

“So, Rian. Tell me more about yourself! If you hadn’t noticed, this is our …second date? I still know next to nothing about you. You could be a rapist.” He chuckled.

“What do you want to know? I’m not that interesting, really.”

I elbowed him. “Yes you are, silly.”

“I know.” He winked at me.

“You dick! Ugh, whatever. Favourite bands, pets, food, stuff like that!”

He scratched his neck, he does that a lot. No idea why though. “Uh... Bands… well, stuff like Blink-182, Foo Fighters, Green Day, New Found Glory. Pets, I have none. Interests…Ice hockey, my favourite football team is the Ravens – American football that is. Uh… I can’t think of anything else, sorry.”

“Oh that’s cool! Where are the Ravens from? Or what do they play for. Whatever.”

“Baltimore, it’s where I grew up.” He smiled, just thinking about it. It was cute. We arrived at the cinemas and bought some food. I got a rainbow smash, and somehow Rian tricked me into letting buy a large popcorn for us to share. I went to buy myself a ticket for the movie, but Rian stopped me.

“Don’t, I’ve already got them.” He held up 2 movie tickets. I rolled my eyes, and we walked up the stairs to where the ticket man stood.

“Cinema 5, up to the right.” We walked up, and it wasn’t until we were reached the doors to the cinema that I realised he had his arm around my waist. Not that I minded. We didn’t walk to where I would usually sit, though. Rian walked over to 4 seats at the back of the cinema, each with a piece of paper on them stating that they were broken.

“Um, Rian, I don’t think we can sit here. What are you doing?” He moved two of the signs on the outside of the others, so there were two seats in the middle without signs. “Those are broken, we can’t sit there.”

“Relax; I have a friend who works here. How else would we make sure no one sat here?” Oh. I’m stupid. He pulled out a box of chocolates from underneath one of the seats and my mouth started watering.

“Is that how you got the chocolates here as well?

“Yep.” He sat down and took my hand. “Care to join me?” I sat down in the seat on his left, and reached for the chocolates, that he held out of my reach. Rian put his arm around my shoulders as the adverts started, and I rested my head on his shoulder. I saw a bit down his light jacket, and saw a little bit of colour through the material.

“Is that a…?” Something twinged in my mind, a memory forgotten from when I first set eyes on Rian. I sat up properly and started pulling his jacket off.

“Mia…what are you doing?” I looked up. Uh.

“Can I…?” He shrugged, and continued pulling his flannel shirt off to show his white singlet underneath. “Whoa.” All down his right forearm he had a colourful tattoo, from shoulder to elbow. “Is that the Blink bunny?” He laughed and looked down at his shoulder.

“Yeah, I got it a while ago.” It was a bunny, on top of a drum, on top of a coat of arms that I didn’t know the meaning of, and a black stencil of two girls jumping; it looked somehow familiar.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a tattoo?”

“Didn’t think it was important. Do you?” I blushed.

“Actually, I do.” He looked surprised, I’m not, I didn’t think he’d expect me to have one. I turned away from him and leant my head to the side, sweeping my hair over to one shoulder. “Pull the back of my singlet down.” He did so, and I heard him breathe out.

“That’s beautiful. Does it go right down?” I have a tattoo of a Rose on my back. The top of it started just above my shoulder blades, the stem went all the way down my back to where my tailbone ended. One of the petals had my sister’s initials on it.

“Yeah, maybe you’ll see the whole thing someday.” I froze, and turned to Rian. “Did I really just say that?” He laughed at me.

“Yep.” I shrugged. It wasn’t that big of a deal. And I meant it, yeah? I kissed him on the cheek.

“Maybe you’ll know the meaning behind it someday too. Now; before I make a bigger fool of myself, let’s watch this movie.” Rian laughed, and opened the chocolates for us to share as the movie started. It was really fun, actually. The whole movie we spent heckling Dakota from the back of the theatre, throwing popcorn at pre-teen couples making out and earning lots of glares. Turns out the movie was about sine dumb-ass chick, played by Dakota, who was turned into a vampire at her 16th birthday and still wants to hook up with some guy who wasn’t even good looking. Of course, I had to look that up after the movie since we didn’t pay attention during it.

We finally staggered out of the cinema, giggling like 13 year olds, and staggering from the bright light like we were hung over. “So,” Rian turned to me, still shading his eyes from the sun, “Want to go swimming now?”

“Uh…” I stalled, searching for an excuse not to.

“I didn’t buy those chocolates for nothing, Mia.”

“Whatever, let’s get changed.” I got changed and walked out wearing a towel around myself. I looked around for Rian, and had a double take. He was just standing there, wearing bordies and no shirt. And he had abs. Like, not abs as in ‘I went to the gym for 10 hours yesterday’ abs, like, ‘I went to the gym and worked out naturally every day for 10 years.’ Abs. The really attractive kind. Why on earth does he want to go out with me?

I was turning to run back to the changing room and already making an excuse in my head as to why I wasn’t changed when he spotted me. “Mia! Over here!” I turned around sheepishly, clutching my towel firmly to my chest and walked over to him.

“So!” Rian was bouncing on the balls of his feet, obviously excited. “Want to go in?” I stayed quiet, not sure what to say. Also slightly distracted by his abs. Dear lord. “Hey, why do you still have your towel on?” I started to protest, but he pried my arms open to see my embarrassing half naked body. “You have an amazing body.” I blinked. What? I mean, my body was alright. The bikini was bright red, the top strapless and buckled at the back, the bottom part had ties on either side to keep it up. My stomach isn’t even that flat; I bloat easily so whenever I eat too much bad stuff it sticks out. And I have a bad short tan. But I did not expect Rian to say that.

I folded my arms over my chest out of self-consciousness. “So, uh… are you gonna check me out all day or are we going to go swimming?” He snapped out of his trance and grinned.

“Both sound good to me!” I slapped his arm, and we ran into the water. Well, I hesitated and Rian pulled me in.

“You bastard!” He grinned.

“We’re only getting older, Mia.” I splashed water at him in annoyance. "Fuck off!" He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Was that a challenge?"

"Was what a...." Oh no. "No, no, no, I washed my hair this morning. You will not-" I was cut off, ironically, by a splash to the face. "Oh. That's it."

And so began the splash fight. This somehow ended up with Rian tickling my feet, and me trying to stay afloat. Not very successfully, might I add.

"Okay!" I sputtered, "I give in! Uncle! Mercy! Damn in Rian let me go!" He finally let go of my feet and I paddled backwards to the side of the pool, trying to catch my breath. Rian swam over and propped his elbow up on the side.

"I gathered you learnt your lesson?" I glared at him.

"Don't splash Rian or he'll try and drown you?"

"Close enough." He shrugged. "Hey, watch this!" He climbed up onto the side of the pool, "How deep do you think it is?"

"Well, I can't touch the bottom."

"Alright..." He took a few steps back, then took a running jump and flipped into the pool, creating a huge splash and earning a few dirty looks from people surrounding us. Which was expected, it was a public pool with little kids in it. But fuck them. "What'd you think of that?"

"It was alright." I smirked. "I bet your bomb dive is measly."

"Are you challenging me? You do one, if you think you're that amazing."

"Psssh, I'm not stupid enough to challenge you to a bomb dive. You're huge!"

“That’s what she said.” I rolled my eyes.

“How old did you say you were, 27?”

He looked at my pointedly. "Watch your mouth, and at least attempt to one up my front flip."

"Whatever." I pulled myself out of the pool and stood on the edge, my back to the pool. "Top this." I took a deep breath in, bent my knees and jumped backwards, throwing my arms back as I did, executing a perfect backwards flip, if I may say so myself. I did do gymnastics in early high school, I still remember a bit.

I surfaced and...something didn't feel right. I felt too free. I looked down at my body and swore. "Shit!" I pulled my arms around my chest; my bikini top had come off! I tried looking around for it, which was impossible because I was treading water without using my arms. "Rian?" I said anxiously, thinking he didn't see what happened. I tried twisting around to see if I could see him. “Rian?” I cried a little more fervently. I was about to say his name again when I felt someone’s hands on my waist. I looked behind me, hoping desperately it wasn’t some old creep, and was relieved to see Rian smiling at me.

“Don’t move.” He held me by my waist and pulled me over to shallow water so my feet could touch the ground. “Do you want to…?” I blushed.

“I’ll just turn to the wall.” Rian stood behind me, shielding me from perverts. I put the bikini top on, buckled it up myself and turned around finding myself right up against… Rian’s bare chest.

“I didn’t look at your boobs, I promise.” Of course, I blushed outrageously, and he noticed.

“Mia, you’re blushing again!”

“I know…” I mumbled. He brushed a strand of hair from my face; I looked up and met his eyes. My heart started beating faster. We both knew what was going to happen. I stood on my tip toes, leant in and… I gasped.

“YOU LITTLE FUCKER!” Some fucking toddler had thrown a beach ball at my head. “DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY SENSE IN THAT MINISCULE BRAIN OF YOURS? FUCK YOU. AND YOUR MUM. AN-“

“Mia. Stop. He’s like, 7.” I felt Rian’s hand on my shoulder. I also realised what I just said, and hid my hands in embarrassment.

“That is so embarrassing!” I felt his arms creep around my waist, and he kissed my head.

“Want to get changed and get an ice-cream?”

I nodded, and mumbled “That would be nice.” into my hands. Rian chuckled.


“Yeah, um can I get the… regular vanilla in a cone?” The old lady that worked there handed it over.

“$3.50, love.” I paid and turned to Rian, who had a two scoop Chocolate chip.

“How the hell are you going to eat that?” He shrugged.

“Well it did have two scoops, I’m sure I can eat the rest.” My jaw dropped and he laughed. “I’m joking, I’m joking. I’m not even sure they do 3 scoops here!” The woman over the counter piped up and told us they stopped doing them, no one bought them. That was pretty funny. Rian gestured to my ice-cream. “I don’t get it. Why do you like vanilla so much? It isn’t that amazing.”

I raised my eyebrows at him. “Yours looks like it has shit in it. That’s all I have to say on the matter.”

Rian looked at me for a second, then started laughing. He put his free arm around me and pulled me in. “Should we head home?”

“Yeah, probably,” I yawned. “I’ve got some stuff to do for work anyway.” We headed off, got on the first train to Auchenflower, and found some seats at the back of the carriage. Rian had his arm around my shoulders, I had a Maccas coke in my hand and was sipping it from my straw.

“You’re a funny girl, Mia. You know that, right?” I felt my cheeks heat up.

“I guess. I mean, I’m not exactly normal.”

“I don’t think I could love a girl who was.” I choked on the liquid in my throat and started gasping for air. I looked at him, and he scratched the back of his neck.

Well, this is sufficiently awkward.

“So…uh. What are your plans for the future?”

I shrugged. “Not sure. I mean, I have a job, and it’s not like I’m struggling for money, but I’m not exactly bathing in it. But I have a good idea of what I want to do, you know? I want to do something to do with music, yeah? Because, I mean it’s had such a big impact on me and I don’t know… I just want to be more involved in it. Do you get me?” Rian nodded. “I just… I know it sounds crazy, I mean I’m 26 but… what I really want, is to be in a band. You know? I want… I want to travel around the world with my best mates, playing music and changing people’s lives. I want to hear the words sung back to me, I want to play my heart out, get wasted, and then wake up and do it all again… You know?”

I looked up at Rian, and he was on a different planet. Not literally, of course. Just spaced-out. I waved a hand in front of his face to get his attention. “I’m sorry, I’m boring you, aren’t I?” He blinked a few times the looked at me.

“No! Not at all, I’m just a little tired, that’s all.”

I yawned for something that felt like the 5th time. “Yeah, me too.” I held out an earphone for him, I was listening to Mayday Parade. “Want to listen?” He took it, and I rested my head on his shoulder. “Is it okay if I sleep on you? I’m really tired.” He chuckled and ruffled my hair.

“Sure, I’m sure you are little Posey.” I smiled, closed my eyes and fell asleep to Mayday Parade, and the steady rise and fall of Rian’s chest.

Rian
I looked down at Mia sleeping peacefully on my chest and smiled. She was amazing, and I know I’ve fallen for her. She… I think… I think it’s just how she’s so selfless, she cares only for other people, her cute nervous rambling, how I’m what makes her nervous, how she covered her face when she got embarrassed, and how she is beautiful, every time I see her. It really takes my breath away. I stroked her hair for a while, lost in thought. She really was a girl who made you rethink big decisions, see the bigger picture.

I was jolted back into sense by the train stopping at my stop. I was about to get up, then remembered Mia, sleeping peacefully on me. It was 8:40, and I was strong enough to carry her. I also didn’t want her walking home in the dark, half asleep either. Once we reached her stop, I pulled out my iPhone and typed her address in. Carrying her piggy back style, she nestled into my neck, still asleep. We, or I, walked off the train. I reached her apartment block and took it in. It wasn’t much, it had a modern feel, but looked low maintenance and more like they’d tried imitate the ‘modern’ look with a low pay. I climbed the stairs and found her apartment, number 16. It was actually in better condition than some of the others, no paint peeling that’s for sure. I knocked, and was met with a very sleepy Shaye.

“Rian? What…?” I pressed my finger to my lips and shushed her, motioning to Mia on my back. Shaye nodded. “Her bedroom’s first on the left. She wears the transformers shirt and red shorts to bed. I trust you can change her without being a perve, yeah?” She whispered. I nodded, and walked to Mia’s room. I smiled when I saw it; it was exactly how I pictured it. Scattered with clothes and magazines, posters all over the walls and a mountain of CD’s. After clearing her bed I set her down on it. I sat beside her and pulled her shirt off and the transformers one onto her slim frame. I reached under her shirt and unclipped her bra, I pulled it off, and then helped her arms into her shirt. I replaced her shorts, then tucked her into bed, kissed her forehead and watched her cuddle into the pillow. I looked around to see Shaye watching me from the door frame. I walked over her, turned the light off in Mia’s room and closed the door.

“You really like her, don’t you?”

I grinned. “Yeah, I really do.”

She smiled at me. “That’s really good.” Her expression turned serious. “Rian, Mia really likes you. Like, really. Just remember, everyone’s been hurt before, and if you fuck this up I will personally hunt you down. But I really do think you’re the breath of fresh air that she really needs.”

I smiled at Shaye. “Thanks, I promise I won’t.” I checked my watch, 9:00. The trains will have stopped going by now. “Uh, Shaye, can I bunk here tonight?” She glanced at the oven clock, checking the time for herself.

“Sure, by experience Mia will tell you the couch isn’t the comfiest, so you can sleep in her bed. No shirt is fine, but there’s a spare pair of bordies in my room from an ex.” I chuckled.

“Thanks Shaye, you’re awesome.”

“I know.”

I found the shorts and changed into them, before slipping into Mia’s bed. She looked so beautiful when she was sleeping. Her face was the last thing I saw before I fell asleep.