Desperately Reaching for Something in the Dark

The first week of being back in my home state, I was lucky enough to not run into Alex anywhere in town. I spent a lot of my time hanging out with Rian and catching up; he even told the other guys–Jack and Zack–that I was back in town after asking me if it was okay. So I hung out with them a few times as well. It was nice having them back in my life and I was excited for them to be in Charlie’s life. She was immediately attached to Jack and every time he’d come over, she would run and jump up into his arms.

For the first time since coming to Maryland, I let her stay with Rian while I went out and ran some errands. Rikki was the only person I ever let watch Charlie alone. It was something I only did when I really needed to do something on my own.

Rian picked her up and placed her on his hip. “She’ll be fine here, Aria, I promise you.”

“And there’s no reason for Alex to come home, right…?” I trailed off, becoming well aware of the fact that Alex and his girlfriend lived with Rian. Even knowing that Alex lived in this very house I was inside gave me a queasy feeling in my stomach.

“He went up to Pittsburgh with Rachel yesterday and they're not heading back in until later tonight, so if he comes back I’ll be just as surprised as you would be.”

“If for some reason he does, call me, please. I can’t find him finding out about her… not yet, anyway.”

“When will you tell him about her?”

“Whenever the perfect opportunity arises.” I told him, giving Charlie a kiss on her forehead and handing a bag full of things for Charlie. “I should be done in about 2 hours.”

“Aria, take all the time you need.” Rian gave me one last goodbye and Charlie waved at me before I left his house and got into my rented car.

Even though I haven’t been here in almost 3 years, I still remembered my way around the town of Baltimore. I turned into the parking lot for the mall, and once I actually found a parking spot, I got out and went inside.

To be perfectly honest, I didn’t have any errands to run; I have everything I need. I just wanted to get away for a few hours. With having Charlie constantly around, there was no ‘me’ time. And since Rian volunteered to watch her, I took the opportunity.

I walked into a store and looked around the clothes for around a half hour, I picked out a few things and decided on trying them on. The first was a knee-length sundress that I adored from the moment I laid my eyes on it. The next was an oversized t-shirt that hung low on one of my shoulders paired with a simple pair of denim shorts.

I was lucky, after I had Charlie, I lost all my fat from the pregnancy but my body wasn’t how it was before. After all, I was a teenager during the pregnancy and I wasn’t anymore. But I still had a pretty good body that I wasn’t afraid to show off sometimes.

I ended up buying the two outfits from the first store and a new pair of flats from another. I had only been to two stores and I already almost spent $100. Since I took this vacation and I’m not working, I’m not making any money right now, so spending was something I had to cut back on. Especially since I was gonna be here for a month or longer.

An hour quickly passed by, and the last store I wanted to go to was a local record shop that I used to go to all the time with Alex. It was his favorite record shop and we spent a good amount of time here when we were dating. I was greeted with a simple ‘hello’ from one of the employees when I walked in.

I was browsing through the records in the ‘B’ column when I felt someone’s presence behind me. Preparing for the worst, I sucked in a breath before turning around. But when I did, I noticed the person behind me was looking through the CDs. I let out a sigh of relief at the fact it wasn’t the person who I was afraid it could’ve been.

I was so anxious that anyone could be Alex. A part of me just wanted to see him to get it over with.

And little did I know that when I'd look up, I’d see him in this very shop.

My breathing became irregular; everything stopped. All my muscles locked up and I couldn’t move or take my eyes off of him. He was just standing a few rows away from me.

Then my phone went off. I grabbed it and pressed ‘talk’.

After I caught my breath, I answered the call with a “hello?”

“Hey, it’s Rian. Uh, I just thought I’d let you know that Alex is back in town.” I could hear Charlie’s laughter in the background. That put a smile on my face despite the situation. “He texted me saying he was going to Clark’s Records before coming home.”

“I know he’s in town, Rian.”

“Wha—what? How do you know?”

“Because I’m 3 rows away from him in the record store.”