Holding Onto What I'm Feeling

I was back. But nobody knew it. I hadn’t told anyone. There was no point. I hadn’t kept in contact with anyone. I had gotten an apartment and had just moved in.

The same day I returned, I walked down familiar streets, memories coming and going. Some good, some not so good. I walked till I reached the small, local grocery store. As I walked inside, I saw someone I recognized. Someone I had hoped I wouldn’t see for at least a while. That person saw me and I froze for a second before walking by him, hoping he hadn’t recognized me. I’m sure I looked different. My hair was longer, and darker (thanks to hair dye). I also dressed somewhat differently. Not huge changes, but hopefully ones that would help me stay unrecognized for a little while.

I was losing hope that I was unrecognizable. I could feel him looking at me. It took everything I had not to look at him. I looked at the food lined up on the shelves, only half paying attention to what they were.

“Excuse me,” I jumped a little and turned around to face him. Jeph. He smiled a little. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“That’s ok,” I said. He just stared at me.

“Do I know you?” he asked. I shook my head.

“I don’t think you would,” I replied. “I just moved here.”

“Oh,” he said. “Where did you move from?”

“New York,” I said.

“Cool,” he said. “Well, sorry for bothering you. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.”

“Maybe,” I said. He smiled one last time before turning his back to me and walking away. I watched his retreating back, wishing he knew it was me. Had I made the right decision to leave?

Jeph’s P.O.V.

I stared at the girl as she walked by me. She looked just like Carly. But it couldn’t be her…could it? Sure, she looked somewhat different from Carly but it was hard to believe. Carly had been gone for eight years. I had basically given up on her returning. But I always held a little hope that she would be back someday.

I walked towards her, deciding to talk to her, and get a better look at her.

“Excuse me,” I said. She jumped a little and I smiled when she turned to look at me. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“That’s ok,” she said said. I stared at her. I looked into her eyes. They looked like Carly’s eyes…but different somehow. There was no emotion there either. God, she looked so much like Carly.

“Do I know you?” I asked. She shook her head.

“I don’t think you would,” she replied. “I just moved here.”

“Oh,” I said. “Where did you move from?”

“New York,” she said.

“Cool,” I said. I didn’t bother asking her name. I doubt she was Carly. “Well, sorry for bothering you. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.”

“Maybe,” she said. I smiled one last time before turning around and leaving. I couldn’t stop thinking about that girl now. I didn’t think she was Carly, but she just looked so much like her. It just couldn’t be Carly. Could it?