I Need You So Bad

Dear Diary,

So yes, I got a broken heart. It felt horrible too, but because we live in the real world, life goes on.

-How I became friends with Brady-

Tom has been trying to reach to me but I don't retaliate.

I thought that when he called I would pick up the phone immediately and talk it out with him... but I didn't. I just left it ringing. I was hurt, this time it actually hurt a lot.

The pain I felt wasn't only heartbreak but also embarrassment. And embarrassment caused my suffering. I didn't leave the house for a whole week, since it was summer and I don't have to go anywhere, I decided I didn't want to do anything.

My dad's been calling too, I just ignored his calls out of spitefulness. I wanted one less thing to worry about, that applied especially to my dad.

I hated him somehow, the hatred inside me wasn't spilled out or anything. It was bottled up, it was closed so tight that the bubbles that were bubbling inside were spewing around.

I didn't want to hate him in a way, but I still stayed quiet.

"Honey! I'm off to work!" my mom yelled from down in the kitchen.

"Bye!" I yelled back. I then laid back down in my bed. I sighed. I heard my mom talking on the phone while on her way out. I thrust my face into the soft pillow. Oh, please! Kill me!

"Hey." I looked up from my pillow, my eyes were a bit blurred but it came into focus with Brady standing at the door.

"Excuse me, you didn't knock." I said.

"I did." He replied.

"Then, knock louder." I said with a tone in my voice. He stifled a laughter and remained in composure. I glared at him for awhile but after getting irritated that we were, in fact, having a staring contest I went back to burying my head in the pillow.

"Hey. Get dressed." he said as if an order.

"No." I muffled through the pillow.

"Hurry up or we'll miss it." He said. I was curious but at the same time not having stupidity to follow his wickedness.

"I don't care." I said.

"Come on. My mom got us these tickets." he said.

"Well, then bring someone else." I said to him, I had to raise my head to say so but I was still facing my beautiful pillow, of which has a lot of tears, snot, and drool.

"Can't. Your name's on the ticket." He said. I was alarmed and extremely curious about what he just said. I sat up from my bed.

"What? What do you mean by having our names on the tickets?" I asked.

"Well, today is one of those special members only so there's only a limit of people that can go into Disneyland." He said.

"Wait... We're going to Disneyland? One of the happiest places on earth?" I asked unbelievably.

"Yea. With me." he said.

"Why with you? You would make me cry at the happiest place on earth." I said to him.

He had a grin on his face. He took in a breath.

"Come on, hurry up. I'm going to wait down in the living room." He said, he ignored my comment and left my room while shutting the door.

I was astounded somehow, he's bringing me to the happiest place on earth. I've never been to Disneyland so this is going to be my first time going. Tom and I planned to go but he got so caught up in the music stuff. Should I go without him though? Would that consider me a horrible person? I thought about the nasty questions in my mind but then my heart ached. I decided, he broke my heart, I should mend it with a trip to the happiest place on earth…

Even if I have to go with the meanest person on earth.

"What kind of music do you listen to?" I asked him.

I was striking a conversation since the drive to Disneyland was an hour away and that the car was once more absolutely silent.

"I'm not a music person." Brady replied. I looked at him as if he was crazy but that would explain the lack of music in the car.

"What? How could you not be a music person. Even a person who listen to bad music is a music person." I said. He shrugged.

"I don't know. Sure, I listen to some songs but I'm not much for it." He said.

"What do you like to do then?" I asked.

"Watch porn." He said bluntly. I froze. I was sitting next to either a rapist, pedophile, or soon to be killer.

I didn't know what to say anymore. I was speechless, how could he say that so bluntly and straight out.

"I'm just kidding with you." He said again with the same voice but this time with disappointment.

"Oh. What the hell, Brady?" I asked angrily.

"Hey. I'm answering for all the other guys out there. I'm just saying the honest truth. Guys would claim to be interested in many things but truth be told their intentions lie mostly on sex." Brady said.

Why is he poisoning my mind, not that I didn't know these things but still… somehow some girls are just very delicate about the issue… or thing.

"Yea, yea." I said. I was about to ask him if he was thinking about 'that' right now but I decided not to. I've had enough embarrassment for the past few weeks, I don't want to add anymore to it

"Are you a music person?" He asked.

"Of some sort." I said.

"What kind of music do you like?" he asked.

"Well... I like anything I can get my hands on." I said. He laughed.

"That's what she said." He joked.

"Ha ha." I said in a monotone voice, "I thought you were above that." I said.

"Well, you thought wrong." He said.

His right hand was on the wheel while the other was on the window sill. We continued talking about the most random things, it was along the line of 'are you a boxer or undies kind of guy' questions. We continued on until we arrived at Disneyland.

"It looks like a wasteland." I said to him. We were in front just staring at the empty park.

"Is it always like this?" I asked him. I would think there would be about tons of people here.

"I told you. The park is closed to others... Except us." He said. I sighed.

"Okay, if you say so bossy pants." I said. We went on the empty trolly and went our way towards Disneyland.

"You've never been to Disneyland before, huh?" he asks me as more of a statement but it was a question.

"Not really. I haven't ever been to California until now." I said.

"Oh. Well, it's very fun." He said. I smiled at him.

"Yea. I have seen the magical commercials." I said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Well, but they can under rate the real thing." he said. I grinned.

"I guess, I probably have to wait and see." I said grinning. I looked up at him since he was freakishly tall, even when sitting. I felt his arm move, it was behind me, it rested on the top of the seat.

I felt weird. It felt weird but I ignored the feeling and looked out of the trolly and all around.

"That was awesome!" I said after getting off Splash Mountain.

I got all wet though but it didn't matter, I was laughing my butt off. I actually heard Brady scream. I was shocked when going down the steep drop that I barely scream, Brady was behind me and he screamed like a wuss, a man wuss. It was hilarious, he was the last person I would expect screaming from.

"Yea. It was." He said, he was looking at me with his dark blue eyes.

His hair was dripping wet, he was wearing a white shirt too, I was basically staring at his abs. Yes, he had abs... And pecs, sadly but yes. I do have female hormones that are practically surging at the speed of light right now.

"Ummm... Errr..." I was at loss of words but then I cleared my throat.

"What other rides are there?" I asked.

"Let's see." He said, he pulled out his map from his back pocket. It was soaked, I started laughing.

"Shit." He cursed.

"How many times have you went here?" I asked.

"My third time." he said.

"Throughout your whole life?" I asked amazed.

"Yea. I never really was one for going to an adventure park. My parents made me go to the first two but when my brother was born they stopped forcing me to go." he said. "They started bothering him instead." Brady gave a mischievous grin.

"You have a brother?" I asked.

"Yea. We adopted him from France." He said.

"Why France? Why not those other places like Africa or Asia?" I wondered.

"Because, my mother was an american orphan in France. She decided to adopt a kid from the same orphanage that she was held at." He said.

"I didn't know you're mom was…" I didn't want to say it. It felt rude to say it.

"An orphan? Well she was…" He said, I stared at him while he was staring at me.

"Why do you not like Disneyland?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"Because." He said and shrugged. I sighed in exasperation.

"Then why did you come and bring me with you today, epspecially when you don't like going to Disneyland?" I asked.

He mumbled something incoherently, it was along the lines of 'because' again.

"Because what? Can you speak louder? Jeez, and you're always telling me to speak louder." I said mildly annoyed.

"Because, I'm here with you." He said in a strain tone. I was shocked, so I looked down at the ground.

"And because there aren't many people here. I hate crowds." He said, I looked up at him to see him give a smile, I smiled right back at him.

"Me too." I said and we walked to a worker to grab another map.

After grabbing the map we went our way to Indiana Jones. Every time I entered a ride, all I could think about was how expensive it was to create it.

Brady was next to me or behind me when we were lining up in a 5 minute line for the ride. He was never in front… it was pretty awkward that he wasn't in front. When I would sneak a peek back at him or next to me he would just be looking at the scenery and looking around as if that speck of dust was the most fascinating thing in the world.

More people were here now. Not many more but about 20 people more. I keep seeing a lot of boys and girls on their phone. I left my crappy phone at home, so I wouldn't see any of Tom's calls. I then realized that I have never seen Brady use his phone.

"Do you have a phone?" I asked turning around to face him. He was close to me so it was kind of impossible to really look at his face, along with the fact that the tunnel was dark.

"I have a home phone. Yes." He said.

"Do you have a cell phone?" I asked.

"No." He answered. "Why?" He asks me.

"Nothing. I was just wondering. Why don't you have a cell phone. It's the best technology ever made!" I (kind of) exaggerated.

"Because… I don't feel as if I need one." He said.

"Do you think you're too cool for it?" I questioned. He gave me a grin and looked ahead.

"Tell me!" I demanded… I was pretty hush about it so it came out as if a whisper.

"Speak louder." He commanded.

I glared at him and then turned around and walked up in the line. He's infuriating but surprising nice to stand next to. He made me feel safe in a sense but still I was very intimidated by him.

"I just don't need a cell phone." He answered my question.

"Okay. What if you were in trouble? How would you get help?" I asked.

"I will walked to a pay phone or one of those call boxes on the freeway." He said.

"Oh… so you'd rather walk about 5 miles to get a call done?" I asked.

"At least I'm being active. I can keep myself healthy by doing so." He answered. I smiled, the smile was inevitable. He's so condescending but so truthful and clever at the same time.

"What if you were on the brink of death… and you just needed to make a call." I questioned with my 'What if' questions.

"Well… life is life. We live we die. There's nothing more to say. I don't want to leave a scar in the world with my last words." He said. That was deep.

Afterwards we went on the teapot ride, it was fun and a bit thrilling at the same time. When we were spinning the wheel for the teacup to spin, we were the only two in the teacup. The whole time either his hand overlapped my hand or mine overlapped his.

When I think about it, unlike Tom's slender hard dry hands that have blisters from Ruby's strings… Brady's hands were big and soft… they were very soft, even softer than mine. I think I blushed whenever we touched by the feel of his beautiful hands.

When we walked around the park more, there were more people now but still the lines were shorter. Strangely girls were staring intently or glancing multiple times at us, or more of at him. Whenever we passed a group of girls, their voices and laughter were louder than us being a couple feet away. I looked up at Brady, he seemed unaffected by all the attention of the girls… maybe I was just a bit over-exaggerating on the girl issue. Maybe those girls aren't even looking at us at all. And anyways, why should I even care! Brady needs a girl to soften him up a bit and give him a teaching on proper manners and give him an attitude adjustment.

"Hey, you okay?" He asks.

I looked up at him shyly… I felt as if my mind was speaking out loud. He gives me a grin. His eyes then wandered around, he then looked back at me then swung his arm around me. It was heavy but it felt protective. He then looked on ahead with a smile on his face. This is weird.

"Thanks for the fun day today… and the ice cone." I said while we were sitting on a bench at California Adventures. I was eating a ice cone.

He was just slouching down on the bench with his arms spread out resting on the bench. He bought me the ice cone.

"No problem." He said. I looked at him.

"Why don't you want to eat some?" I asked.

"I don't feel hungry." He answered. He kept shooting down my questions. It was infuriating!

"What's your deal?" I asked.

"My deal?" He asked confused. He was sitting up now and was looking straight at me. I felt weird and awkward because when his eyes focused on me, I was licking some ice cream. His eyes seemed to narrow at me tongue.

"Yes, you're deal. You keep shooting down my questions. Not to mention refusing the deliciousness of an ice cone." I said. I was totally calling him out. Sucker.

"I'm sorry… I never really spend much time with people." He said.

"What? How can you not spend time with people?" I asked.

"I do… but not like this." He said.

"How is this different than the others?" I asked.

"Because… you're new and different. You're not like most people I talk to." He said.

"What am I more smarter than them or something?" I asked. I felt arrogant but… come on, Californians are so beautiful that they don't even need a degree to get their jobs.

"No… I just don't hang out often." He confessed. I was confused. I looked at him. Even though I don't like Brady that much, he didn't seem like the kind of guy to sit in a corner and do nothing.

"What are you talking about? Are you a loner?" I asked kindly.

"Kind of… if you put it that way." He said.

"Are you kidding me? Do you look in any mirrors around you?" I asked.

"Yea…. I know what I look like… it's just. I decided awhile ago not to deal with people." He confessed.

"Why…? Are you an American Psycho?" I asked making a reference to that movie with Christian Bale.

"No. A lot of things has happened in my life." He said.

"Aren't you like… I don't know… 17?" I asked being a bit cynical and practical.

"You know what? Never mind." He said frustrated.

"Hey. Wait.. look. I'm sorry. I'm being mean." I apologized. "But you're not that nice either." I said to him. He looked down at me.

"Yea. I guess." He said.

"Can we just… start all over. Except the part when you made me cry. I'm never forgetting that…" I said, I saw a grin appear on his face. I scowled.

"That sounds like a great idea." He said. His pearly whites were in my vision. Why is this guy not some Hollister super male model yet?

"Okay… you first." I said. He sighed and gave me a ridiculous look.

"Hi. My name is Brady Corner." He said.

"Oh. Corner. That's a cool last name. My name's Lindy Byramel." I said.

"Your last name sounds like medicine. It reminds me of Benadryl." He said with a grin on his face. I made a shocked face.

"What does Byramel have anything to do with Benadryl?" I asked.

"Now that you mention it. Byramel is like Caramel." He said.

I laughed, people usually call my last name weird and freaky but here he was making comparisons for my last name.

And for that… I met with great amusement as he continued to suggest more words.

I laughed. We went on a couple more rides before we went into Brady's car and drove home. That day was the first best day I ever had with Brady Corner.