If You Can Keep Me Guessing

I didn't sleep at all after the funeral. I made it look like I did so Alex wouldn't ask any questions. Some nights I'd get about five hours of sleep, other nights I'd be lucky to get two. When I fell asleep, I dreamed about the day he died. Sometimes I had the dream when he said good bye to me again. 

I was laying in Alex's arms. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 5:53 in the morning. It'd had been three weeks since the funeral. Alex had to leave for another tour today. He wanted me to go with him but I wasn't sure if I could. I knew physically I could because I looked fine. A little fragile because I hadn't eaten much but other than that I looked normal. Mentally, I couldn't go. I would have to pretend to be happy every day for three months. I would be in a cramped space with the same 10 guys for thee months. I wanted to go because I loved seeing Alex play. 

I got up slowly so I wouldn't wake Alex. I kissed his head and watched him roll over onto his stomach. I smiled a little. I put my hair up on top of my head and put my glasses on. I didn't feel like putting contacts in this early. I walked downstairs and made coffee for myself. I sat at the kitchen table and just sipped my coffee. I liked the silence. It left me to my thoughts. 

I heard footsteps upstairs so I turned on the tv to the news in case Alex came down. He'd know something was up. I started watching the news. Flyzik called me at 6:15.

"Why the hell are you awake?" I asked with a little laugh.
"It's tour day Liz! I never sleep the night before tour. Why are you awake?"
"I honestly don't know. What's up?"
"Are you coming with us?"
"I don't know, Matt. There wouldn't be anyone watching the house for us."
"That's a bullshit excuse. C'mon. I know you love coming with us and watching the guys play. They love having you. They kind of need you. Please?" he asked sweetly with his lisp that I couldn't say no to.
"Fine. But don't tell Alex. It'll confuse him."
"Okay sounds good. We'll be at the house at 9." he laughed.
"Bye Matt." I laughed back. I put my phone down and finished my coffee. Rian walked into the kitchen as I washed out my mug.

"Morning Mrs Gaskarth." he said sleepily.
"Morning Rian." I smiled. I was getting good at pretending to be happy.
"Couldn't sleep?" 
"Nah. Plus I have to get Alex up because he won't wake up in time."
"Very true. How have you been? like how are you feeling?"
"I'm good." I nodded, trying to convince myself. "Slowly getting better."
"Good. I'm here for you when you need to talk." he hugged me. I thanked him and walked upstairs and tip-toed into where Alex was sleeping. He was still sound asleep. I loved waking him up.

"Allllllexxxxx!" I sang quietly in his ear. He didn't move so I laid on him. "Baby you have to wake up. It's time to go on tour!" he still didn't budge. I sighed and stood on my side of the bed and started jumping and yelling his name. Rian looked in and laughed which made me laugh. Alex woke up suddenly and looked terrified but pissed so I laughed harder. 

"What the fuck?!" he grumbled. I stopped jumping and bent over laughing. He grabbed my legs and pulled me down. 
"You have to get up Princess." I teased and stuck my tongue out.
"Five more minutes? And I'm not a princess." he rolled over. I pulled him back and pinned him down. 
"It's already 6:55. Flyzik said he's getting here at nine and you haven't packed yet. Get your ass out of bed." I tried to say sternly.
"Yes ma'am." he said and sat up. "You seem better today. I thought you'd be sad that I'm leaving."
"I'll have you know that I'm distraught. I'm covering it with being goofy." 
"I see. Well you'll come and visit me so you'll be fine." he smiled and pressed his lips to mine. 

--------------------
Alex had packed all of his stuff and put it by the door. My plan with Flyzik was they would leave and go to the first city and I'd meet them there tonight. It was 8:45 and I was upstairs with Alex while Rian was on the phone with Cass. 

"Don't miss me too much." Alex laughed.
"You kidding me? I have this huge house to myself for three months. I think I'll throw a party and make your fans pay $20 to come and see your room. I'd be rich." 
"You're kidding right?" he looked at me nervously.
"Obviously." I laughed.
"Okay good." he laughed then pressed his lips to mine. I kissed him back as he rolled to lay on top of me. He slid his tongue between my lips and fought with my tongue. I held onto him with one hand and put the other in his hair. Our lips were moving perfectly on sync. I tugged his hair a little which made him moan softly in my mouth. I smiled during the kiss. He pulled away to catch his breath while biting on my bottom lip. 

"I'm going to miss you so much." he whispered.
"I know." I whispered. I leaned in for another kiss which was interrupted by Rian knocking and saying it was time to go. We got up and I jumped on his back and he carried me down the stairs. I slid off his back and said hi to the guys. They helped Rian and Alex with their stuff. I hugged Rian and said bye and good luck. Then Alex grabbed me from behind and hugged me tight.

"Call me whenever you need me." he whispered.
"I will. I promise." I whispered back. He kissed me softly and it was a perfect kiss. "I love you." 
"I love you too Elizabeth." He looked a little sad as he walked to the guys. I waved good bye and ran back into the house and closed the door fast and ran upstairs. I packed all my stuff and texted Flyzik to tell him to tell Alex to get a big bunk.

----------------
I got to the venue and managed to hide from the guys for a while. They went on stage and performed and did awesome as always. I stayed hidden while they went out and met the fans. I sat on the couch in their dressing room and waited for them.bi heard them coming down the hall.

"Hey guys there's some chick in the dressing room that refuses to leave until she sees you guys. I don't know what her deal is but Alex she was asking for you most of all." I heard Flyzik say and I couldn't help but laugh. Zack walked in and laughed then Rian, then Jack, then Alex. I smiled huge when I saw the look on his face.