When I Think About You

Chapter 55: Subconsciously

"Boo bear, we're out of sugar. Would you and Baby doll mind going to the grocer's to buy some?" Mum piped up from the kitchen.

"Sure, mum." Lou answered with a slight grin before getting off the couch and looking at me. I followed his motion.

"Oh, and on your way there, can you stop by Mrs. Greene's house to fetch the cookies she made?"

"Sure, mum," I answered on behalf of Lou and I. "We'll be back in half an hour. Look after her, okay?"

"Alright." Zayn answered with a smile before standing up and cradling my face in his hands and then kissing me. "I love you."

"I love you, too." I answered softly as a smile crawled its way on to my lips. And, subconsciously, my right hand flew up to the spot just below my stomach; my womb. I still haven't told him... or anyone else for that matter.

Wait a minute, I just used some sugar for the boys' tea this morning. There was plenty to last for an entire week. I think mum is conning me into telling Louis. I really have to thank her for this opportunity to ask Lou for advice.

"Come on," Lou said as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me to the 'disguise' rack by the door. Yeah, we had one of those. Basically, it's a coat rack, but coats weren't the only things there; sunglasses, wigs, Lou's prescription glasses, beanies, hats, and scarves adorned the fine piece of woodwork.

Lou handed me a white cardigan as well as a green pompom beanie while he got a black hoodie and a gray, knit beanie as well as his prescription glasses.

"How come you gave me one of the silly beanies?" I whined as I slipped the beanie on.

"I'm the only one that's been wearing that silly thing ever since we first got it." Lou answered as he ushered me out the front door. Oh yeah, we like to share some clothes, accessories, hats; mostly the unisex ones.

"Alright, fine." I mumbled a I stepped out of the confines of our quaint little home. I latched arms with Lou and we made our way to the grocer's.

"Lil, you keep touching your... below your stomach. Do you have anything to tell me?" Lou asked nonchalantly as we trekked to our destination. My face began feeling hot while my entire body felt cold and numb. I bit my bottom lip and glanced up at my older brother with a guilty look in my eyes. From what I could see at his side, he was smiling slightly. And, at that, I instantly knew that he had known all along.

"How long have you known?" I asked quietly.

"A few days ago... before you and Zayn had that lover's spat. You kept placing your hand on your tummy, like you were protecting it. And, I recognized the gesture from Pam when she was pregnant with Nikki." Lou stated before looking down at me. Pam is our cousin. She's 21, and she's engaged to the father of her child; Enzo. She got knocked up when she was 19. Nikki's a year-old now. I simply adored that little girl.

The thought of having mine and Zayn's baby suddenly felt very overwhelming. My head whirled and my already poor eyesight became poorer. I had to steady myself against Louis.

"Are you okay?" Lou asked worriedly.

"Yeah. Just a little overwhelmed." I mumbled.

"The way that you flip you hair gets me overwhelmed." Louis sang quietly before chuckling. I rolled my eyes and hit his shoulder lightly.

"Must you sing while I'm worrying over how to tell my fiancé that I'm carrying his love child?"

"The little bugger's not going to be a 'love child' for long. As soon as Zayn finds out, he'll rush into the wedding." Louis grinned.

"And how can you be so sure that he won't leave me and the 'little bugger'?"

"Because, oh-genius-one, he loves you. And, wasn't he the one talking about wanting a family with you?" 

"But, what if he changed his mind about that?"

"Would he have proposed if he changed his mind?"

Lou kept answering my questions with his questions, and it irritated me to no end.

"Lou, will you... please answer me properly. I don't want questions as my answers. I want my older brother to tell me if his little sister did a stupid thing or not." I hissed at Louis.

He grabbed me by my shoulders and let out a sigh before connecting his eyes with mine.

"Getting knocked-up is a stupid thing to do. But, you're engaged, Lil. Yes, you're 17, without a job or even a college degree...Tons of girls are experiencing the same thing as you right now," Those words felt like a slap in the face. And, before I knew it, silent tears were rolling down my cheeks. Lou wiped them away and smiled at me. "Ssh, don't cry." 

"B-but you just said that-" Louis chuckled as he cut me off from my pathetic sputtering.

"You didn't let me finish. A lot of girls are in the same position as you are i right now. But, they don't have an amazing older brother, a loving fiancé, a supportive mother, and three crazy lads that will always be there to support them." Louis explained softly as he continued to wipe the tears on my face. I let out a sob and tackled him in a Tommo hug.

"You won't have to work a day in your life when you and Zayn get married. He won't have it." Lou mumbled into my hair. 

"But what about my restaurant?" I half-whined.

"That's something that you two will have to talk about. Now, come on.. dry your tears. I don't want everyone thinking that I made you cry in the span of ten minutes." Lou said with a chuckle before kissing my forehead and wiping the tear tracks on my cheeks.

"He's a muslim... I'm a Christian. How in the world will we get married?" I asked Lou my new dilemma.

"Worry about that after you tell him about the baby."

"Oh, right. I just... I feel so.. I don't know, Lou.. Happy? Anxious?"

"Pregnancy hormones." He teased which made me shove him lightly.

***

After completing our errands, Lou and I went back home and lounged around in the living room. Oh, right, I almost forgot to tell you about the sleeping arrangements. Zayn and I have my room, Lou and Harry have Lou's room, and Liam and Niall have the guest room. And, that's that.

Liam, from his seat across me, sent me a knowing look that just screamed 'We need to talk.'. I nodded idly and gently eased myself from the couch, careful to not shift the couch too much in fear of Duchess' well-being.

"Where are you going?" Zayn asked me as he placed his hands on my hips and rested his cheek on top of my stomach. Looking down at him like that... Just.. Wow.. I can't describe the things that I felt. An image of him resting his head on my protruding belly made itself known in my mind and I blinked twice to make myself fall back into reality.

"The kitchen. I need to get a glass of water. Would you like anything?" I asked with a small smile on my face as I ran my fingers through Zayn's silky hair. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch.

"Just a glass of water will do." He answered. I nodded and leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"Lil, you're just going to the kitchen." Harry piped up. I rolled my eyes and blatantly ignored him and his curly hair.

"I think I'm gonna get something to eat." Liam stated and sauntered to the kitchen. I smiled and raced towards Liam before latching my arm with his and dragging him to the kitchen.

Once we were out of earshot, I dropped his arm and slouched my shoulders as I plopped down on one of the high chairs.

"When are you planning to tell Zayn?" Liam asked quietly.

"I... Don't know." I mumbled before looking down at my fingers. "How'd you know?"

"You were subconsciously rubbing your tummy again. And you have this glow." Liam pointed out. I nodded.

"Is he suspicious?" I mumbled.

"No. But, you need to tell him soon. Niall's slowly catching up with this and Harry's not giving any indication of knowing."

"I'm just scared, Lee-um. What if he realizes that it's too early to have a baby, and he cancels the engagement and our relationship altogether? I never should have stopped taking those pills." I said quietly as I felt the rush of new tears flowing down my cheeks. Liam gently hugged me close to his cheat and kissed the crown of my head.

"Zayn loves you too much to do that. You're worrying over nothing. Trust me."

"I'll tell him when the I get the courage to tell him." I mumbled through silent tears.

"Some tome withtin this week." Liam bargained. I thought about it for a minute before reluctantly nodding.

I could do this. Right?