I Fear Your Name Will Haunt Me Forever

In the week that followed everyone was looking forward to the weekend. Now this is not unusual in a boarding school, particularly as you didn't have to attend lessons at the weekend. In truth in any school all the students looked forward to the weekends. They all got to have lie-ins, meals were a lot less strict and they could do what they wanted, well within reason. The teachers also looked forward to the weekends, Snape being one of the most obvious. He loved to teach but hated most of his students, he would call them imbeciles, mainly it was because he was far too critical to put up with glaring errors. But this weekend was even better in the opinion of third year and above. It was the first Hogsmeade weekend of the year. The third years were really excited, it was going to be their first Hogsmeade weekend, they had most likely heard either form older siblings or from their parents just how lovely it was visiting Hogsmeade. Going Zonko's to see all the merchandise or in Fred and George's cases to see whether they have any new merchandise. In short, everyone was looking forward to it except Ellie. It wasn't that she was going by herself, she had actually been asked to go with her friends. Ellie wasn't looking forward to it for one reason, and one reason only, she wanted Sev's permission to go, and it seemed she wouldn't be getting it anytime soon.

"Sev, please, I just want to go to Hogsmeade with them!" Ellie shouted. She only shouted in his general direction, nobody got to tell the tale if you shouted at him. That was one of many things that Ellie had learnt about her Godfather over the years.

"I don't, wish for you to attend with them, why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?" Ellie wanted to throw something at him but decided to clench her hands into fists instead. She didn't reply so Sev took the opportunity to continue talking, during this argument he hadn't raised his voice once. "You always go to Hogsmeade, what is so special about it now?" Ellie had never seen him angry he was as collected as ever, but sometimes she wished he would lose his cool and just tell her what was on his mind.

"It is special now because I have never been with people my own age, ever" she exclaimed loudly. Sure she had been with the majority of the staff of Hogwarts, including Filch at one point but now she had friends she wanted to go with, it was different. She stormed out of the room and was so blinded by her anger that she walked straight in to someone. She found herself sitting neatly on the floor nursing a new bruise. She closed her eyes for a moment knowing she was in Slytherin territory and knew if it was one of the Quidditch team members they would still be annoyed with her. She looked up apprehensively, but when she saw her favourite red heads before her she couldn't help the smile that broke out over her face.

"Ellie, were those your lovely dulcet tones we could hear down the corridor." The pair asked her in unison not even bothering to help her up. Ellie went a little red in the face from embarrassment but nodded her head nevertheless. The pair put their hands on their hips and Ellie would have burst out laughing if she hadn't noticed the serious look on their identical faces.

"Why are you so annoyed?" Fred asked her. Ellie dragged herself up off the cold stone floor, and looked down the corridor that she had just walked up, before indicating it didn't matter and wandering off feeling thoroughly dejected.

As Ellie was walking around she was arguing in her head about Sev. She was explaining to herself that he had never had any real friends, bar her father. He didn't understand how it felt to have friends your own age for the first time in your life. Ellie knew she didn't need his permission to go, her grandfather was her legal guardian, Sev didn't need to sign her permission slip. But that was besides the point she wanted to have his permission, she wanted him to be happy for her. While she had been aimlessly walking she discovered herself before the entrance to her grandfathers office. She didn't go up in case he was busy but just sat on the floor next to the gargoyle. She lost track of how long she sat at the entrance to her grandfathers office lost in thought. She looked up and she the somewhat luminous grey beard of her grandfather.

"You are looking very solemn." Ellie just looked back at wall opposite her, Albus just stood there waiting, he knew that she would say something about what was troubling her in her own time.

"Sev doesn't want me to go to Hogsmeade, with everyone this weekend" Ellie knew she sounded childish with the whine that she was making but she continue speaking nevertheless. "I know I don't really need his permission to go, but it would be nice to have it. I won't feel as guilty about going if he gives me permission." Once Ellie was finished with her explanation she made eye-contact with her grandfather once more. He had a knowing look in his eyes, he understood how both parties felt, and Ellie was sure he would come to a reasonable conclusion.

"I think he is worried that you will replace him with your new friends. He does want you to have friends just remember to not forget him." Ellie thought about her Grandfather's wise advice for a few moments before nodding her head understanding what he was saying. She stood and thanked him before walking elsewhere in deep thought. Her grandfather smiled and went up to his office to tackle the large amount of paper work he had. He was happy, he knew his granddaughter and Severus could work everything out. During Ellie's walk she suddenly found herself accompanied by Oliver, who was starting to be held in higher and higher standards by her. He didn't interrupt her thought for a while perfectly happy to wander around with her until she was ready to talk. After a while though he felt the silence becoming uncomfortable so started a conversation.

"Are you coming to Hogsmeade this weekend. Marie wasn't sure." Ellie held back a smile at his blatant keeping an eye on her. This was the second time she had caught him talking about her behind her back. There was also a glint of hope in his eyes which didn't go unnoticed by her. Ellie shrugged her shoulders in reply, which caused Oli to get a confused look on his face. "Didn't Dumbledore give you permission?" he frowned trying to think of a way to convince Dumbledore to allow Ellie to go.

"Of course I have permission, don't be silly." Ellie said a large smile on her face from the absurd question. Oli sighed in relief, he didn't have to try and change Dumbledore's mind. Though he was still confused about why she wasn't going. "It's just, well Sev doesn't want me to go." Ellie stated succinctly. Oli looked at her like she had stated she had three heads, but then Ellie continued to speak. "I know I don't need to have his permission it would be nice to have it though, I mean he has always been there for me, and he is like my older brother. " Oli who was clearly getting more confused by the minute stopped walking and grabbed hold of Ellie's hand to stop her as well.

"So are you going?" Oli asked once more. Failing to let go of her hand. Both of them could feel a tingling sensation from where they were connected but neither said anything. "Yes or no? I am very confused right now" Oli finished off. He hoped Ellie wouldn't bring up the fact he hadn't let go of her hand yet. He felt like her hand belonged in his.

"Ye...No...possibly, I think" was Ellie's confused reply. She knew she had to talk to Sev again to explain her feelings and help him to understand where she was coming from. Oli leaned close to her ear before whispering.

"You my friend are insane" the pair chuckled and continued walking down the corridor hand in hand.

A few days later Ellie and her friends were walking to Hogsmeade village. She had a large smile on her face, she had managed to persuade Sev by having a long heart to heart over some potions that were being made for the hospital wing. That plus her following him around during her spare time giving him puppy dog eyes whenever he looked at her. Deniz had joined the group as Ellie and Marie wanted to get to know her more and she was a very quiet person.

"Ellie" Marie said from behind her. Ellie was walking and talking with Oli while the twins were in the middle of plotting their next prank, and listing what they needed, to get, or already had. "You know your tattoo?" she asked a nervous tone entering her voice. Ellie linked arms with Oli and started walking backwards trusting him not to lead her into a wall or something. Ellie saw the nervousness that was betrayed by Marie's voice in her eyes and was wondering what Marie wanted her attention for. "Can you take me to the place you got it done, I'd really like to have one" Ellie thought momentarily that there was something wrong with Marie and clearly this thought was betrayed on her face. "I have thought it through." Ellie nodded her head, it wasn't that which she doubted it was more the fact that Marie was a person that naturally wanted to blend in and having a tattoo wasn't one of the ways to do that. Deniz, Ellie could understand getting a tattoo, one day, though she didn't really know Deniz as well as the others. When the group arrived at Hogsmeade the boys wanted to go to Zonko's, and the girls didn't want to do that so there was some arguing amongst the group until Deniz spoke.