Let Go.

“Emma, is the door open?” Travis asked over the phone ten minutes after I called.
“Yeah.” I sniffled and hung up the phone with nothing more to say. I heard footsteps shortly after.
I didn’t look up at him, disappointed, that I had even called him. I felt weight on the bed and he leaned down to look at me. I turned my head to look away.
“Emma, what happened?” Travis asked repositioning himself to look at me.
“He broke up with me.” I tried desperately not to keep crying.
“He’s a jerk.” Travis shrugged.
“No, he treated me good.” I shook my head tears drying on my face.
“He made you sneak around.” Travis disagreed.
“He didn’t make me do anything.” I rubbed my eyes smearing mascara across my face, and leaned against Travis.
“Can we talk about this later.” I sniffled.
“You want me to go?” he sounded cautious.
“I don’t want to be alone will you stay till I fall asleep?” I asked timidly hoping he’d say he didn’t care.
“Okay, but don’t even think of taking advantage of me.” He smiled and lay next to me on my small queen sized mattress.
“This bed is so small.” He laughed and I felt the bed move a little more, telling me he was getting comfortable, fell asleep shortly after my eyes too swollen from crying, to stay open.

“Emma who is this?” My mother’s voice rang through my head. I opened my eyes to see her standing over Travis and I, my head on his chest his arms around me. Before I could answer Travis stirred awake.
“Hello, Emma’s mom I’m Travis, and I'm leaving now.” He smiled and sat up.
“Emma what are those?” My mother voice got louder. My hip piercings were shining just right, as my shirt was up a little from sleeping also showing my tattoo.
“Its piercings and a tattoo…” I shrugged answering tired of being yelled at.
“Well, doesn’t that look attractive?” She snarled obviously not happy Travis was standing up now.
“I'm going bye Em.” He smirked and made his way towards the stairs.
“I'm coming too!” I grinned getting up and running towards him.
“Emma don’t you dare, you have explaining to do!” my mother shrieked.
“Bye mom.” I rolled my eyes mumbling as we made our way outside.
“Did you grow balls over night?” Travis joked and laughed.
“Shut up.” I smiled lightly and got in his car.
“Where to?” he asked.
“Somewhere not here.” I answered simply.
“Okay.” He nodded starting the car.
I turned on the radio and for once, there wasn’t anything good on the radio, and he didn’t have any cd’s in. I looked over at him. He was driving and smoking a cigarette.
“I can feel you looking at me.” He smiled and glanced over at me.
“Sorry.” I smirked and opened the glove box.
“Oh, you just think it’s okay, to look through all my stuff huh?” he joked glancing at me once again.
“Well. There’s a pipe, wrapping paper, gum, registration, some sunglasses, cd’s.” I went down a list of items in the glove box. I picked up his sunglasses placing them on my eyes and turned on the radio. Nirvana played loud. I smiled and sung along. Travis stopped at a dead end finally about thirty minutes away; the dead end was right in front of a construction site.
“What happened Emma?” he asked the question I had been trying to distract myself from.
“With what?” I asked biting my nails, ignoring what I knew.
“You know what.” Travis looked at me.
“Fine, I went inside, and he was like, I asked you one thing and it was not to talk to Travis, and then we went to dinner where we barely talked, we went back to my house, he kissed me, then said to stop pretending I didn’t like you or want you and that you didn’t care about me, but wanted me anyway, and then he said he understood why my mom was always disappointed in my decisions.” I sighed and fought tears.
“Well, he’s a dick.” He replied and lit another cigarette.
We sat in silence, for a few moments, until I finally got the guts to ask what was on my mind, for once.
“So is it true?” I asked looking over at Travis.
“That I don’t care about you?” he asked.
“No, that I like you, and that you want me?” I asked correcting his question.
He didn’t answer; I just looked at him for a good minute before I spoke again.
“So, just me, okay I'm an idiot.” I huffed and cleared my throat unbuckling my seat belt about to get out of the car.
“What are you doing?” he asked confused.
“I’m going to walk.” I shrugged.
“Why?” he asked.
“What do you mean why? Because I just made an ass out of myself, I confessed I like you, and I got no answer…” I tried explaining.
“I like you Emma, but you should know, I'm not a boyfriend, I'm a good time, I don’t meet parents, I don’t do anniversaries, I don’t do girlfriends.” He answered being as truthful, as he could.
“Well, I don’t want a boyfriend.” I shrugged.
“You seem like a ‘boyfriend’ girl.” He looked at me.
“No, really I don’t.” I shook my head.
“So we can be casual then?” he asked me, acting casual himself.
“Okay.” I agreed simply.
“Alright.” he agreed.
“What exactly is, casual?” I asked slowly.
He cracked a smile.
“We can see other people, do whatever, no commitment.” He explained.
This sounded really new for me. I had never done anything like this before. I had, two boyfriends so far, sex maybe twice, once losing my virginity, the other with the same guy.
“How many girls have you been with?” I asked curiously.
“Depends on what you mean, I’ve had maybe three girlfriends but I’ve had a ton of sex.” He grinned ear to ear.
“Oh.” I nodded embarrassed.
“Oh no, what’s wrong?” he asked smiling jokingly.
“Nothing really.” I assured him.
“Alright.” He nodded back.
Let the casual dating begin.