Nicotine and Faded Dreams

It had been more than a week since I first accompanied Travis on stage. Today was our first day off in 10 days. They had been the most exhausting and exhilarating 10 days of my life. On top of running the Merch tent with Scooter, Travis was basically insisting I sing with him during every one of his sets. Not that I was complaining. I got butterflies in my stomach every time I waited to go onstage, during every note I sang, and every time the audience cheered for me. I hope that feeling never went away. I had also decided to finally quit smoking. That brought my week to a whole new level of exhaustion. I was anxious beyond belief.

We were currently in Darien Center, New York on our day off. Tomorrow it would be back to the old grind. I was excited because the Hartford, Connecticut date was fast approaching. I was going to be able to see some family and friends. I was also painfully aware that Warped Tour would be over in less than a month. I didn’t know what the future held for Travis and I after tour, but I refused to think about that now.

Boy could I use a cigarette, but I pushed that thought out of my head as well as I stared at myself in the mirror of the bus bathroom. My natural blonde roots had grown out more than an inch. The red on the bottom was fading terribly. It was definitely time for a dye job.

I emerged from the bathroom and found all the guys sitting in the front lounge watching tv. Travis spotted me first, “Hey gorgeous, get over here.”

I smiled wide and walked over to give Travis a kiss. He pulled me onto his lap and I sat with Travis’s arms still around me, watching the mindless commercial on tv.

“So,” I began, “Who wants to help me dye my hair today?” I asked in a sing song voice.

Danny and Hunter just laughed.

Of course Travis was the one to respond, “I’ll do it babe. I’m not sure how good it will be though, I’ve never done it before.”

“Oh God,” Danny said laughing, “I wouldn’t trust him, you’re going to end up with half your head dyed and half of it not.”

“Hey,” Travis said smacking Danny on the arm.
I just laughed, “I’m sure you’ll do fine.” I squeezed Travis’s cheek like he was a little kid.

He rolled his eyes at this and kissed my forehead before bringing his attention back to the tv.

----

Travis and I headed to a local drug store within walking distance to obtain some hair dye before heading back to the bus.

We opened all the windows of the bus, which was parked in the venues parking lot, so we wouldn’t choke to death on hair dye fumes. Everyone had headed out to explore so we had the bus to ourselves for the rest of the day. Travis snapped on the latex gloves that came with the package of red hair dye and I giggled. He looked like he was about to do some kind of experiment.

“Alright please tell me if I do something wrong ok?” Travis asked while mixing the dye.

Just as Travis was about to begin applying the dye I remembered something, “Wait!” I shouted.

Travis looked confused, “I have to change. I don’t want to get dye all over these clothes,” I laughed.

I ran over to the bunk area and grabbed a pair of super short super hole filled shorts that I definitely had no business ever wearing in public without getting stares and whispered voices saying, “wow what a whore”. I hoped Travis didn’t judge me too much, they were from nearly 10 years ago. I grabbed an old tank top as well. These were my designated clothes for when I dyed my hair. They already had various stains on them from previous dye jobs. I had never gotten my hair dyed by a guy before, so it wasn’t like I just paraded around wearing these clothes in front of random dudes before. I changed quickly in the back lounge and walked back to the bathroom where Travis was waiting. He took one glance at me and his eyes became as big as saucers. Just as quickly he looked away. I smiled to myself.

“Sorry that I look like a cheap hooker,” I laughed to myself, “These are my old dyeing clothes.”

“I’m just...” Travis couldn’t finish his sentence and had to look away again. I walked over to him and gently guided his face so he was looking me in the eye.

“You just what…”

He hesitated, biting his lip ring, “I’m just trying to control myself.” He said nervously. I never thought Travis would be nervous. And I never thought I would be confident enough to do what I did next.

“Don’t.”

He looked confused, “Excuse me, don’t?”

I knew exactly what he meant when he said he was trying to control himself and I knew that I didn’t want him to.

Instead of talking, I took the dyeing gloves off of Travis and threw them into the bathroom. Then I kissed him. Hard.

In seconds he was kissing me back. His hands were on my hips and mine were running through his hair. He pushed me up against the wall of the bus. I felt his hands move under my tank top and the next thing I knew it was discarded onto the floor of the bus. I ran my hands under his shirt, mirroring his actions, and pulled it over his head, throwing it onto the floor as well. I pulled away from his lips for only a second to stare at his tattooed chest and his now messed up head of hair, before he urgently brought his lips back to mine. His fingers trailed down my stomach to the hem of my shorts. He undid the button there and was working on the zipper when a noise in the distance barely registered in my mind.

It was when the noise, which sounded very much like the bus door opening, became louder that I pulled away from Travis. We both looked at each other in panic. Travis ran to grab his shirt and I went to get mine in the opposite direction. Somehow I tripped over Travis’s foot and ended up falling on my back. I brought down Travis with me, only he landed parallel to me on his stomach.

I peered over to the door just in time to see Danny and Hunter walk in. Their expressions turned to shock as they stared at us side by side on the floor of the bus. Me facing upwards wearing a bra and half undone shorts and Travis shirtless next to me on his stomach. I immediately grabbed my shirt that was next to me now and threw it over myself.

Danny and Hunter immediately started laughing, “So,” Hunter began, “What were you guys doing?” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Well whatever it was,” Danny joined in, “I’m pretty sure you’re doing it wrong.” He laughed gesturing between us.

I felt myself turn red. Of course this would happen. OF COURSE! “Ha Ha, so funny. Can you…ummm…leave for a second so I can put my shirt on?” I asked mildly horrified that I had to ask them that question.

Danny and Hunter went outside for a few minutes while Travis and I picked ourselves off of the floor and got dressed.

Travis gave me a quick kiss before we began to walk outside to get the guys, “Hey,” Travis said before we opened the door, “Rain-check?” He winked.

I kissed him softly before replying, “You bet your ass.”

Travis laughed and kissed me on the forehead as we walked outside hand in hand.