Whenever...

That night, I had the same dream aain. Yet it wasn't really a dream anymore. The misty feeling of it had dissapeared. It was so predictible what was gunna happen next and it now seemed to be closer to reality each time. The only thing which never stayed the same was my reaction and emotions to it all. I realised I still cared way too much about Scott, for my own good, so much that I dreaded going to bed each night. I couldn't handle it. Couldn't face the feeling of grief, loss or loneliness for another time. My 'dream' was beginning to evolve into a nightmare. A petrifying, recurring nightmare which would often leave me shaking and frozen in my own imagination each time I woke up. And the worst thing? I had no control whatsoever. I needed help.

Rehearsals officially began the next day. And I was actually excited. Do not ask me how I can have energy to spare to be excited, considering the fact that i haven't had a proper sleep in months. because I wouldn't have a clue.

Anyway... It was pretty much a fine misty sort of morning. Really fresh, with dew glistening on the grass and the birds chirping in the air. It seemed to bring about a sense of... change. But there was nothing to change really, unless my nightmares would start to dissapear... FAT CHANCE.
I met Scott on the way to school and so I ran to catch up with him.
"Hey! Wait up!" I called, puffing.
"Oh Morning Helen" he replied, turning around. "Looking forward to the rehearsal then?"
"Oh yea" I said, catching my breath "You bet"
"Hey"
"Yeah?"
"You have some Sauce on the side of your mouth" He said, oh ever so quietly.
I could barely breathe as he gently wiped it off, I was so embarrassed.
We both Jumped a mile away from each other as Stacey chirped along without warning.
"Oh" she said, quietly "Was I interrupting something? I'm so sorry"
"No, no" Said Scott, slowing turning into a shade of light pink.
"I was just er... saying what a wonderful morning it was"
"Right" Stacey replied awkwardly. "Shall we enter then?"
We nodded and Scott held the door for all of us, while I was still burning bright red like an idiot.

Ms James was there, rosy cheeked and all, grinning broadly at seeing the whole cast for the first time. She began by telling us more of the play, then arranging us into groups where we practiced a scene by ourselves.
I was paired with Scott of course and we rehearsed the scene where we first 'meet' Its quite ironic and predictable really.
Boy meets girl at dance. Boy dances with girl. Both fall in love at first sight. blah blah blah. But in any other situation it would have been awkward and weird. But no. dancing with Scott, with him holding me like that, and whispering in my ear. It felt just right. I didn't need to act.

"Guys you need to be louder" Ms James shouted "I can't hear you at all, this isn't meant to be for just the two of you, the whole world needs to hear!"
We had to rehearse again, which was just fine by me. I loved every moment of it. His touch, His smile. And... He had to kiss me! HA!
I ended up feeling giddy and out of the world for the rest of the day.

"You're still not over him are you?" Stacey chose just the right moment to corner me as we walked together to our first class, music.
"Well, no"
"Helen, you have to try" "It's acting, and i don't wanna see you get hurt.
"Stace, I appreciate your concern but I'm fine really, I mean, besides you, I'd have no more happiness in my life. Don't you think its fair that I should enjoy this while I still can?"
she didn't answer, but she didn't need to either. I knew I'd won that convo.
However, the nightmare i kept having continued to nag inside of my head. The mysterious reason of it all... It was killing me.
Music was fun and it was a Scott-free period, which allowed me and Stacey to have some hilarious girl time together. we ended up laughing so much our stomachs both hurt afterwards, just like when we were 10.

At tutor time, I waved to Stacey as I headed off to my vocal lesson with Scott. I was nervous about singing in front of him again, I wasn't sure if i could do it. But as soon as I saw his bright contagious smile, all my worries melted away.
"Hey how was music" he called
"Great... and what about art?"
"It was good. kinda boring tho"
"Oh really?" I asked amused
we walked in where our teacher was in the midst of starting some scales, he motioned for us to join in.
If you were there, you'd be laughing at the exercises we had to do to 'warm up' But still, they all contribute to helping your vocal chords in their own ways i guess.
we learnt the first verse of 'tonight' together. before departing for our seperate ways.
I couldn't help thinking how great it all was. It was as if he'd never broken up with me in the first place!
I was living a dream and I never wanted it to end. But dreams.... as you all know, aren't reality.