Rich kid + The Misfit = Love?

I my body was shivering and my body was heated. I was cold yet warm against Gerard's flesh. I felt safe yet I was scared. Are panting hard and are eyelids heavy. I looked up at him gave him a grin and he smiled back weakly. I move my hand's from beneath Gerard's chest and touch his face with my warm finger's poke his cheek bone, down to his jawline to his lip's to the bridge of his nose. He had features so god like. So strong and stunning. So intimidating and rich. The moon makes his skin pale and glow like a ghost and the moon making his eye's look like melting gold. He looked so...perfect above me, his eye's locking with mine, his eyebrows arched in curiosity."What?" He asked, not moving away from me, his skin just rubbing against mine, his pants still unzipped and my left hand still placed over his crotch.

"Your really...beautiful." I said with a bright smile and I don't know why I said that, but I need to let him know he was. His face showed no emotion, all he did was still keep the same questionable looking face, his hair falling gently on his face, laying flat and shiny.

"Uh...thanks." Is all he said. And I felt something, something like disappointment, almost anger and...rejection. For some reason this isn't the answer I was looking for nor the odd face. He almost looked uncomfortable and I don't know why? Doesn't he like me? Isn't this something he would like to hear from me? Doesn't all people like to be called beautiful? Even if he said 'thank you' this isn't the 'thank you' I wanted to hear, the tone was awkward and the face. I didn't like it. Not after what just happen. How close we were together right now...maybe I'm being to sensitive about this.

Gerard lifted himself off of me and open the backseat door. He walked out the car and the cool wind flew through my flesh. I sat up and watched as Gerard zipped up his pants and pulled out a smoke and light it up, looking like he was thinking really hard or something. I looked at him curiously, he looked so concentrated like he was thinking of something serious.

I sat up fully and got out the car too. I walked up to Gerard and wrapped my arm's around his slim waist and I felt him tense up against my chest. I was so confused, why was he acting so nervous around me, I wanted to ask, but me knowing someone like Gerard, he wouldn't tell me or avoid the question because he seemed that type. That when it was serious he'd back off unless it was in some way to have him insult you. I leaned away and stared at him with a confused look and he doesn't look at me, his back still turned away from me and smoking, polluting the dark sky. I hated this awkward feeling, the air felt thick and it gave me goosebumps. He still didn't look at me almost like I didn't exist and I knew this.

He didn't like me. He just wanted to touch me.

I was just something he can get off from. He didn't care for me. I was like those girls at the parties that you have sex with and never see her again or when she gos to your school you don't even look her way anymore. That's what I was again, getting a taste of my own medicine. I didn't want t be in a place where I'm not wanted. I walked back to the car and grabbed my shirt and hoodie and put it over my body. I laced my shoes tighter, while Gerard back was still turn to me and he was leaning back on the car, staring at the ground intently, like it was more interesting than I. I looked at him again, staring at his bare chest and I didn't wait for him to turn and look at me and apologize for being a prick after he got me to grab his crotch and please me and I let him touch me. I just walked.

I walked past the petty field with the tall grass and the crickets sounding loud. I walked fat, bawling my fist in to a ball, clenching tighter till I wanted them to bleed. Tear's pricking the back of eyelids and the corner of my eye's. I held my breath and squeezed my eye's close tightly, not wanting them to fall. I felt a tear run slowly down my cheek's, tickling my cheek and soon more fell. I felt pathetic. What was I doing? Why am I crying over a bastard like Gerard? He's noting, but I feel so useless. The tear's kept falling and I sniffing, wiping them away with the back of my hand. Wiping harshly.

I didn't go back to the party. Instead I walked at the end of the city to where you enter the suburban area. And then I stopped and stared at the tall rich house that I can see up the hill. I was just another rich boy. That's what people saw me as. I can be snobby and I can judge people. I was becoming like them because this was my life. No one took me seriously. That if I dare walked back in to the city of jersey, people would see an innocent looking kid with a round face, cute cheeks and wide, bright puppy eye's. What people see on the outside, isn't what's in the inside. I was much more than that...That's what people see...That's what Gerard sees and assumes. I don't want him to think he can do what he wants with me cause I'm so innocent and cute and look so easy...I want to show him the real Frank Iero...the real fucking Frank Iero.

I turned away from the hill and walked on the sidewalk, avoiding the poor people that asked if I had change. I walked and kept walking until I saw my destination. "Kat's Tat's." The big roman lettering in bright red light, flickering and I smirked. I walked in to the store and looked around the semi medium tattoo parlor. The wall's painted a crimson red and display of tattooing art on the wall almost covering up the whole wall. Nailed element, birdhouse skateboard decks on the wall, stacked neatly one on top of another. They had merchandise everywhere, belt, belt buckles, hoodies, shirt's, poster's,wristband's. The store was filled with an artistic, freedom vibe and I liked it, I felt relaxed as I walked in.

I was pulled out of my trance by a raspy voice, "Hello, welcome to kat's tat's." I turned around and saw a boy, about twenty with long golden brown locks and thick rimmed glasses. He had piercing all over, eyebrow, lip, nose but his ear's. Something about them, his earlobe were big and had black plugs and I liked them, he looked good with them.

"Hi?" I said walking up to the counter. He had bright blue eyes and was staring me up and down with a small smirk on his face.

"Hey, what's it kid like you walking in a store like this at...eleven thirty at night?" He asked and I felt myself cringe as he, of course, judge me on my cute puppy face. I hear that enough from the girls at school.

"I want to get a tattoo." I said getting straight to the point. He looked at me and laughed.

"Really, how old are you kid, like, fifteen?" he asked with a hint of laughter and I frown at him.

"No, seventeen, eighteen in a few months so no. And I'm over the age limit to get one without a parents consent, so, yeah." I said and he looked at me, still smiling.

"Okay, well what would you like?" he asked and pointed to the display of art on the wall and on the counter."We have all different types of art, from flowers to skull, to anything. Or if you brought specific drawing, I can draw it out. Or can find another artist to draw it out for you. It depends on the art structure what artist will do it for you." I thought for a second and scan the art display. All were very pretty and creative, some cute and some scary. Some with with tigers, some with, a horse with a missing head. I then saw something caught my eye, a scorpion.

It was a normal scorpion. But something about it was stunning. The detail, the shadowing, the curve of its claw, plus it was my sign, so the tattoo had some meaning to it, plus, it reminded it me of the time my mother took me to Spain for the summer, when I was eight and we were on the beach. I was playing in the sand and was building a sand castle, when I saw a scorpion crawl around and I stared at it. I saw it make it's way to my mother who sat on her beach chair wearing a golden silk bikini, prada high heel's with a floppy hat on the hotel beach and it bugged me because she was hitting on men not even old enough to drink, instead of playing with me on the beach.

So she sat on her beach chair, flirting with the life guard as I watch the scorpion stalking his way towards her. I smirked as if you can say 'pisst' her lemonade spilled all over her as she she jumped in the air screaming and hollering like her life was in danger and the life guard ran from her. I smirked as seeing my mother make a fool of herself. I love my mom, she is a good caring woman, but it's nice to see her embarrass herself, instead of portraying perfection.

The boy nodded at me, pulling out the display and taking a stencil,"This looks good, I think I can do this for you. Where would you like it?" he asked and I stared at the tattoo on his neck of Marilyn Monroe and pointed to my neck. It look good there, made him look bad ass. And for once, I wanted people to look at me with respect."Okay. I'm Ross by the way." He said holding out his hand and I shook it.

"Frank." I said and he smiled.

"Well, just sit in those chairs and read a mag and I'll be back in a few." He said and I nodded.

I waited for about five minutes until he came out with rubber white gloves and motioning me to follow him to the back."Your ready, come." I put the rolling stones magazine down and followed behind him. "Just sit there." He said and I did. I sat in the chair that my dentist had and relaxed as I watched him pull out a needle and black ink. Walking back over to me and sat on a stool with a small grin, "You sure about this?" he asked and I nodded.

"Hell yes. Let's just get this over with. "

I made a new friend. We talked and told me about bands I should check out. He said I should stop by the store and we can hang out, he gave me his number. He's really nice, with great teeth may I add.

I have a tattoo on my neck that hurts like hell and hurts when I breath. I was now in bed, in my boxers and taking pain killers that my mom left in her bathroom to numb the pain that made me want to fucking pass out. He should have warned me it would hurt this much. I laid back in bed. The feeling of numb yet sore, but hell I couldn't stop looking at myself. I looked so...different. I looked tougher and edgy, the new Frank. I texted Dawn telling him I was home so he didn't worry and I didn't want to tell anyone about this night. That even if I was hurting physically, I was hurting still...emotionally.

I went to school, peeling the bandage off my neck, putting my art on display and drawing attention, it's really hard not to notice. I walked down the hallway's all eye's on me. Whisper after whisper. People coming up to me "Dude, Frank, awesome!" some of my friends said and I nodded a thank you. The girls were even worse. They winked at me, touched me, flirted and even giving me notes to meet them in the girls bathroom so they can give a 'blow' job. Dawn wasn't surprise when he walked up to my locker, watching put my book's away. I looked up at him and he leaned on the locker next to me and shook his head.

"What?" I asked.

"I saw this coming." He said with a smirk.

"What do you mean?" I asked, putting my text book's away.

"Frank, I know you inside and out. Since we were five. Your my brother, man. I knew you were much different than the fucked up kids in this area. You've always been different. And now it's starting to show, your just displaying what's in the inside, your very creative, Frank, your just showing it now." Dawn said. He read my mind. I smiled and hugged him. He hugged me back quickly.

"Yeah." I said feeling so, happy that he really sees me for me. He's my best friend. He is suppose too.

"Frank?" I heard someone say and turn round to meet Roxie's shocked face."It's true." She said in a gasp. I looked at Dawn who walked away giving me a look that read, 'We'll catch up later.' I looked at her and she was now staring face to face with me.

"Frank your so...odd. You look...so...trashy." She said. I liked the sound of it.

"Do I?" I said in low whisper.

"Yes, like a hood rat. Nasty tattoo!" She said frowning,"If you were with me, you would never end up looking like trailer trash!" she exclaimed. Raising her voice.

"Oh?" I said, liking her anger. I was so getting a kick out of this.

"Yes! Maybe your like this because we broke up. Maybe your depressed and angry and now rebelling." she said trying to sound like a fucking doctor. I walked up to her leaning towards her face and brushing the hair away from her face. I whispered softly in her ear.

"And how can you fix me?"

"We can get back together. I still love you Frank." She said and I snorted. She looked at me with a weird face.

"Not a chance in hell." And with that I brush past her and walked to my pre ib English class with a new found confidence.

I walked in to he after school program and walked in. The teachers all gave me a look, wide eyed and I nodded at them, smirking. I saw Gerard seating down with a Rubik's cube in his hand. I walked to the table, than all of a sudden my heart started to race, my palms sweating and I felt hesitant. My knees felt weak and I felt like I had a colonies of butterflies in my stomach. Why was I so nervous? So intimidated? I know because no matter how much I hate him, I love him. But I can't show it.

I plop myself down on a seat and brushed my hair back with my finger's. Gerard was still playing with his cube, not even looking or saying anything to me. He knew I was there, but he wanted to be an asshole. But it's who he is. Asshole. I pulled out my notebook and the book I was reading and waited for him to do his fucking job. Finally he looked up at me and his face was so, fucking, priceless.

"Frank?" he asked in a hollow gasp. He dropped his Rubik's cube and eyed me. I tried not to smirk, just really acting like I was concentrating on my notes.

"Yes?" I said acting normal.

"You look...different." He said trying to clear his throat, but he still sounded astonished. He tried to act normal, but I can tell he was shocked, like everyone else. Shocked that the cute, little boy, was now showing his true self. Showing he's not another rich, snobby, clone, that I owned who I am. And to show Gerard that I did.

Through the session, Gerard talked and I didn't. I didn't say one word. I just looked at him and nodded and took notes. I didn't want to talk to him, he hurt my heart. He really fucking made me hurt. I was a game to him and I'm not fucking playing anymore. I just stared as he spoke and I tucked my hair behind my ear and. He stared at my neck quickly and just continue speaking.I wanted to punch his face in. I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me. I angrily stuffed my notebook in my bag, "What are you doing?" Gerard asked and I scowled at him. I grabbed my bag and walked out the room and walked to my car. He was killing me softly with his angelic looks, his voice that sounded like a hymn to me. I hated how beautiful he was. I can't stand being in the same room with him, I wanted him.

I stomp towards my car, puling out my keys, shaking with tear's forming in my eye's. I was really pathetic. I sniffed as I felt more tears fall and I didn't wipe them away."Frank!?!" I heard Gerard and I kept walking, like I didn't hear him. "Frank!?!" I felt his voice get closer. "Frank!?!" His voice was close and I was soon putting my key in the lock. I then felt Gerard hand grab my elbow and spun me around, facing his angry red face. He looked so pisst. "What the fuck, we're not even finished! You still have thirty minutes left!" I tried to pull my arm away but he wouldn't let go of me.

"Get the fuck off of me!" I screamed at the almost empty parking lot.

"No, not until you tell me why you're acting like this!?!" he screamed. I started to cry. Tear's fell and I was holding in sobs and whimpers. I felt so small.

"You know why!" I screamed back. Gerard still gripped my elbow tightly, his hand shaking. He looked at me, almost, worried.

"I-I"

"You know what you are!?! Your a filthy, bad prick! You use people for your own selfish needs! You use me and I feel sorry for the other people you hurt!You will never find love! You'll be a gigolo and have no one to love! You don't love Gerard! Your a slut!" I screamed and cried at the same time. Gerard looked at me with just pure anger and sadness!

"You don't know shit Frank! I'm so sorry if I hurt you, but I-"

"But what!?! There's no fucking excuse!"

"Yes there is!" Gerard yelled.

"Then why did you hurt me!?! Why are you a bastard!"

"I'm scared!" Gerard screamed in my face, his beautiful golden eyes getting watery.

"You scared!?! What kind of excuse is that!?! Your scared of what!?"

"Of loving you!" He finally said and a tear glide down his flushed face.

"What?" I said still sobbing.

"Frank, I think about you from the morning I wake up to when I sleep. Your always in my head. When I see you I get nervous, my heart beats so fast it hurts. When you look at me with your bright hazel pure eyes it makes my heart cry because your so innocent and kind. So different. Smart, honest and it scares me because when i get close to you, when I kiss you, I want to love you, protect, keep you safe. Be the one you look for when your angry, yell and pour your emotions too. Smile when you see me. I want to love you with all my heart and to never hurt you. I'm scared that if I do hurt you, I'll be so fucking devastated." He let go of my elbow and was now bawling his fist, his arms lay flat against his sides and staring at the ground. My heart sank as he pured all this to me. I felt horrible. The way I felt about Gerard, he felt the same about me.

"That night, I felt so close to you. I was so happy that I was holding you. You looked so beautiful that night. You fit so perfectly in my arms. Like a fucking puzzle. And I was afraid. I was falling for you more and I didn't want to. I've always been alone, I never had some one that made me not feel alone and someone that made me so happy when they were around. I am scared to be close to you Frank..." He said in a low whisper, "Scared you might steal my heart because...you already are." And with that I placed my shaking hand's on both sides of his face and stared at him intently but almost feeling relieved. He looked up at me, his eyes sparkling, watery.

"I...want you Frank. I want to...be with you." And with that I kissed him. I kissed him hard and he kissed back with even more force. Passion, lust, heartache, pain all at once in that kiss. I wanted him too. I wanted to be with him. And like that, I belonged to him.