Looking For Misery

John entered his apartment with a couple bags of hamburgers. Garrett and Kennedy were sitting on the couch but there was no sign of Pat which instantly worried John. He dropped the bags on the coffee table before heading to their bedroom. He pushed open the door but it wouldn't open all the way, there was something heavy blocking the door. "Pat?" John whispered peeking over to see Pat lying on the ground curled up in a small ball crying. "Oh Pat." John sighed slipping through and closing the door behind him. He lifted Pat up and carried him to the bed setting him down gently. "What's wrong Pat?" John asked pulling Pat's hair back into a ponytail and tying it up.

Pat didn't want to tell John the truth. He didn't want to tell John that he still loves Kennedy no matter what he did. He didn't want to break John's heart because if he did it would kill John. Instead he moved away from John's hold and to the other side of the bed curling up once more. John could feel his heart sink, he looked over to Pat with a frown before standing up and heading out to the front room where all the guys were gathered.

"Where's Pat?" Jared asked unwrapping a hamburger and stuffing it in his mouth.

"Asleep." John lied. It bothered him that his boyfriend was locked in their bedroom crying over something that he can't help fix. It was irking him to no end. "You know what guys I'm going to head out for awhile, I'll be back." John said dropping his wrapper in the bag and grabbing his car keys. He left the apartment and entered the quiet night. He got into his car and drove to his family's home, he needed to talk to someone. Anyone.

He parked his car hastily in the driveway before hurrying up to front porch and knocking on the door. Minutes later John's younger brother Shane opened the door. He smiled at John before pushing the door open wider and allowing his brother in. "I missed you." Shane said flopping down on the couch and looking up to his brother.

"I need to talk to someone." John said sitting across from Shane. "So you know I'm dating Pat right?" he started. Shane nodded softly. "I love, I love him with all my heart but I just don't know. I found him crying just a few minutes ago and I wanted to talk it out but he pushed me away, I just don't get it." John sighed running his hand threw his hair. "What do I do?"

"I don't really know dude." Shane said honestly. "I mean maybe he isn't one to talk about things."

"But he's told me things before. When we first started going out." John said a strong amount of hope in his voice.

"You want my honesty right?" Shane asked. John nodded somewhat fearful at the tone Shane had used. "Ok well I honestly think Pat still loves Kennedy." he said.

John stared at his brother with shock, Pat couldn't love that man. He fucking cheated on him, he went out with him when he didn't even love him. Who the fuck would do that to a person. "Bullshit." John whispered.

"John you can't expect Pat to move on from his first love so easily, and I think he only went out with you to forget Kennedy and you went out with him to protect him from Kennedy."

John shook his head not wanting to believe the truth. He could feel a lump rising in his throat as he wiped the unshed tears from his eyes. "It's not true." he repeated softly.

Deep down inside John knew that everything Shane just said is the exact truth.