Caught Up In You

December 31st, 2011
Saturday Afternoon
Location: Dorm
4:33 PM
When I walked through the door to my dorm, I briefly saw Tristan run from the couch and jump on top of me. “I’ve missed you so much!”

He screamed, almost in hysterics. After I could breathe again, I pushed him off of me and laughed. “What was that for?” I joked.

“I haven’t seen you in forever Drew!” He said, his eyes widening. “Do you know how long that is?” He asked childishly.

“I know. We’re going to have to catch up. Have you seen Pacey?” I asked.

“I think he’s still in the shower,” he said, raising his eyebrow and winking. I smirked and rolled my suitcase to my room.

I unzipped my bag and folded my clothes. I made sure that I put all of my feminine clothes under the plain black sweatshirts, flannels, and baggy jeans. I threw my converse shoes and flip flops into my closet along with my bag and pulled out my brush and makeup pouch. I realized I was going to have to put those products in the bathroom, so I sighed and walked out into the hallway.

I started to knock on the door, but knew that Pacey always left it unlocked when he showered. I slowly turned the knob, pushed the creaky door open, and walked into the steam covered room. I heard Pacey whistling a tune, and I smiled at his determination of reaching a high note. I attempted to look at the mirror, but it was swathed in a deep coat of fog. I wiped my hand across it, making a wide circle appear on the glass.

I set my make-up pouch down and looked at my reflection. My hair was a mess, sticking up vertically, horizontally, and diagonally. So technically, it was everywhere. I moved my brush towards the bird’s nest on my head and smoothed out all of the tangles, groaning and squirming during the process. Plane rides did terrible things to my hair. When it was all brushed out, I pulled a strand to see how long it had gotten. My hair didn’t grow very fast, so it was only a little bit past the middle of my earlobe. I put my brush and pouch into the sink cabinet.

I was about to walk out of the bathroom when I heard the water from the shower turn off. I froze in my place as Pacey drew a hand over the white and green speckled curtain.

“Wait!” I exclaimed, hearing a loud thud as he jumped.

“Drew?” He asked, leaning his arm out to get a towel from the rack and pulling the curtain back a few seconds later.

“Well, this is awkward,” I laughed, trying to peel my eyes off of his body. Pacey smirked.

“Enjoying the view?” He asked, tying the towel near his hip and grabbing another one to dry off his hair.

“Actually, I am,” I winked back.

Pacey laughed and attempted to give me a bear hug, but I jumped back. “No, I’m not touching you until you dry off,” I chuckled. He grumbled and walked past me, stumbling into his room. I ran into his room and jumped, soaring onto his bed head first. I landed with a soft thud and made the whole bed vibrate. I kept my eyes closed, occasionally peeking, until he told me he was dressed. I took my hands off from my face and smiled up at him. I got off of the bed and neared him. Pacey pulled me into him, wrapping his long, brawny arms around my waist.

“I’ve missed you,” I mumbled through his shirt. Pacey kissed my forehead.

“Oh, you did?” He teased.

I pulled away from him, stealing a quick kiss. Pacey pushed his hand on the back of my head so that I couldn’t get away, and enveloped our lips together. I had missed this more than I thought. I had missed his warm, perfectly defined lips against mine. Even just that one movement sent butterflies down my stomach. My knees buckled together as I entwined my fingers in his hair. However, a pang of guilt shot through me as I remembered my dreams about Drake. I didn’t know why they had instantly come into my mind, but I couldn’t shake them off.

I stopped kissing Pacey and smiled before backing up a couple of steps. “What’s wrong?” He asked, obviously clueless.

"Um, nothing. Isn’t there a party tonight?” I asked, trying to find something that would make our situation less awkward.

“Yeah, there is,” he said curiously.

“Well, I’m going to get ready,” I said, rushing out of the room, leaving Pacey bewildered.

~~*~~

5:47 PM

Later that evening, Tristan and I decided to walk to the court yard for the party so Logan could finish cooking snacks and Pacey could run some errands. I hadn’t gotten much time to get to know Tristan in the months that I’d lived with him, so I was happy that we finally got a chance to talk.

“So, Drew, what’s up with you and Pacey?” Tristan asked, breaking the silence.

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused. Tristan opened the door of the male building and led me outside.

“You seem kind of tense around him,” he replied.

“I do?” I asked.

“Come on Drew, tell me. Did something happen when you were on vacation?” Tristan said, gazing at me with his shady, oceanic green eyes.

I turned my head away from him and stared awkwardly at the ground. How could he tell? Was I really making it that obvious? “Uh, there’s ….nothing going on,” I hesitated. Tristan cocked his eyebrow in skepticism. He kept looking at me until I sighed. “Fine. Okay? There’s this guy,” I started. Tristan’s eyes grew bigger and bigger. “I’ve known him forever, and he recently stayed at our house for a couple of days. And…” I paused.

“Oh Drew! You didn’t?!” He gasped, thinking that I had done something terrible. I rolled my eyes.

“No, I didn’t do anything with him. But I keep having these very…vivid dreams of him and me. I don’t know why, but I just feel so guilty,” I confessed.

“You didn’t physically do anything wrong,” he said, trying to comfort me.

“I know, but I keep feeling like I have done something wrong. What if I do like Drake? What if he finally got to me? What if I kiss him and screw up the relationship between Pacey and me? What …”

“DREW!” Tristan said, cupping his palm over my mouth in attempt to cease my talking. “Everything is going to be okay. You need to calm down. If you’re really feeling that guilty, then just tell him about it,” he advised. I nodded my head sheepishly and hugged him.

“Thanks,” I whispered softly.

Tristan pulled back after a couple of seconds and led us over to the picnic blanket that Rose was laying out across the grass. “Oh, hey guys!” She exclaimed, smoothing out the blanket and coming to greet us. I smiled and gave her a hug. Tristan waved shyly as we all sat down.

“So, how are you and my brother?” I asked, trying to not freak out by the fact that they were actually dating and they barely knew each other.

“We’re good,” she replied, pulling out her phone and typing away furiously. I looked up at the sky and peered at a couple of small, snaky clouds. One almost looked like a heart. I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs, making more room for other people.

“So, who else is coming?” I asked Rose.

“No one, I’ve only got you guys,” she laughed, still not looking away from her phone.

A couple of minutes later, Logan and Pacey walked over to our blanket. “Hey guys,” Logan said, waving and sitting down. We all said our separate hellos and laughed when Logan accidentally toppled over.

“So what was with you earlier?” Pacey asked me.

“Nothing, I just had some things to do,” I lied.

“Are you sure? It almost felt like you were ditching me,” he said.

“No, trust me, everything is fine,” I said. I knew I needed to tell Pacey, but I just couldn’t. I didn’t have the guts to. I had this feeling like he would explode, even if I hadn’t kissed another guy. But having sexual thoughts about someone isn’t exactly innocent.

“Attention students,” the principal of the male building said over the speaker. “All of the food is ready and prepared. Please form an orderly line and we can serve you. Thank you,” he said.

Rose and I stood up together and headed to the line. Since we were one of the first groups of people to get there, we were next in line. I picked up two plates and handed one to Rose. “So, you still haven’t told him yet, have you?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

“No, I haven’t. I mean, why do I need to?” I asked.

“You don’t have to. But it’s important to keep an open and honest relationship if you want it to work. If you trust Pacey, why should it matter if you tell him this? You can’t really control your dreams,” she said.

Even though I wanted to fight back, I knew she was right. I had to tell him. “But when will I get the chance?” I asked.

“You’ll know when it’s the right moment. It will kind of just come to you,” she said. I nodded as I grabbed a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows. I piled my plate with fruit, potato chips, and a hotdog and followed Rose back to the blanket. Logan, Tristan, and Pacey returned shortly.

We all ate our food silently, aside from a couple of loud crunching sounds. Tristan attempted to crack a couple of lame jokes, but none of us had any idea what he was saying because his mouth was full of food.

At around 7:00, another announcement was aired. “Now, for all of you students that want to dance, there is a band that will start playing in a couple of minutes. Have fun, but please remember to keep your dancing at an appropriate level,” the principal said sternly. Rose and I laughed at his last comment and stood up to throw the trash away. When I came back, the band had started to play a peppy pop song. Pacey stood up and looked at me.

“Care to dance with me?” He asked, smiling brazenly.

Rose elbowed my arm and signaled that I should. I knew she meant that it would be a good time for me to talk to him. I bobbed my head as to say yes and walked over to where the band was playing. Other people were crowding around and started to dance as well. I had grown up as quite an uncoordinated person, so the most I could do was sway from side to side and move my arms up and down.

“What are you doing?” Pacey asked, chuckling.

“I’m…I’m dancing…” I said.

“That’s not dancing Drew. Come on, follow me,” he said, moving his arms and taking a couple of fast paced steps. I started to do what he did, but tripped and fell into him. When I looked back up, Pacey was laughing so hard that people were starting to glare at us.

“That’s not funny,” I said defensively. When Pacey had composed himself, he looked at me.

“I’m sorry,” he said, still holding back a laugh.

“I’m sure you are,” I said, scowling at him. By this time, a slow song was beginning. I was depressed that we couldn’t actually slow dance together.

“Come on, let’s go inside. That way we’ll be alone,” Pacey hinted.

“Where are you guys going?” Rose asked when we got back on the grass.

“Inside,” I said. Rose winked at me. I sighed.

“Don’t have too much fun,” She said flirtatiously. I groaned as Pacey led me into the building.

When we were back in our dorm, Pacey pushed me up against the wall. I pulled my jacket off quickly before he rested his arms against my back. I wrapped my fingers around his neck. His lips hovered centimeters away from mine. I tugged on his back, compressing our bodies even closer together. At the last second, I guided my lips to his. Everything instantly became silent then. It was just us. All I could feel was him. All I could smell was his cheap cologne. All I could taste was the hot chocolate on his tongue. All I could hear was his small gasps for air. And I had to admit, it was the best kiss I had ever personally witnessed.

Pacey’s fingers dug deep into my back, and I tensed quickly. His tongue wrestled for dominance with mine, but I wasn’t going to let him win. I glided my nails across his neck gently, making him shiver. His hands trailed further and further down. I stiffened when he grasped my butt and lifted me up. With my body shoved against the wall, I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer.

Pacey stopped kissing me and instead slid his lips against the edge of my jaw. He left burning pecks alongside my jawline, making my legs squeeze him tighter. He slithered his tongue along my neck, and suddenly bit me softly. He continuously did it, over and over again. A harsh sigh escaped my lips at first, then a moan, and finally, an earsplitting scream.

“Okay, stop, please,” I begged. This was going to leave a very ugly bruise. And the worst part was I didn’t have long enough hair to cover it up. Pacey chuckled softly, and kissed my neck once more before directing his mouth to my tank top. He bit down on one of my straps and started to pull it off of my shoulder. I sighed and pulled it off. He kissed my shoulder sweetly, and then my chest, further down to my belly button.

But suddenly, I felt like this was familiar. I felt like I had done this before. But I knew that it wasn’t with him. It hadn’t even been real. This was the time.

“Okay, Pacey, I can’t do this,” I said, squirming around until he set me down onto the ground. He looked at me curiously.

“Drew, did I do something wrong? Was I going too far?” He asked, sounding worried.

“No, listen, I need to tell you something,” I said.

Pacey looked at me sincerely and waited for me to continue. “You know a couple weeks ago how I told you about my brother’s friends?” I asked. He simply nodded.

“Well, one of them is someone that I’ve known since I was really little. We were really close,” I said. Pacey’s eyes narrowed, but he composed himself quickly.

“For some reason, I kept having these, graphic…..dreams about him and me. And I don’t like him, but I just felt like I needed to tell you. I feel really guilty about it,” I confessed. Pacey didn’t seem angry, but he didn’t seem very happy either. It was almost as if he was bottling up his emotions. But maybe he was.

After a couple of seconds, I realized he was avoiding what I had said. “Please talk to me Pacey,” I said. Pacey looked at me, trying to be sympathetic and relaxed a bit.

“You have no feelings for him?” He asked.

“None at all,” I said, not knowing if that was the truth or not.

“Okay, well, I guess that’s that. Thanks for at least telling me,” he said before walking out the door.

I knew he was trying to act like everything was okay. But I also knew it was going to take a while for him to get over it.

A couple of minutes later, my phone started buzzing. I pulled it out of my pocket and pressed the answer button. “Hello?” I said.

“Drew? It’s Rose,” she replied, sounding out of breath.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“You need to get to the hospital, now.”