I Can't Make You Love Me

There was only person at this point that knew Michael and I were still together. Chase, because I trusted him and because I trusted him I didn’t mind him hanging out with Michael and I. Or sometimes hanging out with Michael alone, since Tanner was the only friend of Michaels’ that also knew. But Tanner had a thing for Rebecca so he didn’t want to compromise us by hanging out with Michael too much. I still hadn’t really spoken to Rebecca since the day Michael and I ‘broke up’; I really didn’t think it was necessary since she wasn’t supportive.

“Kim what are you doing?” Nathan asked as he and Matt walked up. I was sitting in the lobby of our school’s arts building chatting with Chase on Facebook.

“Nothin’.” I said looking up at them,

“You should come eat with us.” Matt stated.

“I suppose if you really want me to.” I feigned exasperation, and rolled my eyes.

“Oh really?” Nathan said.

“I mean if you don’t want to hang out with us cool kids that’s your loss.” Matt said as I collected my things and said goodbye to Chase on IM.

“Listen, I have other friends that are way more cool than you that I could go hang out with. You all should be thankful I’m willing to be seen with you in public.” I stated as they both laughed.

“So Qudoba then?” Nathan said nudging me.

“I could use a naked burrito.” I said as we headed out of the lobby towards the area of food places on campus.

“I’m sure you could.” Nathan murmured as he nudged me. I shot him a look, and then glanced at Matt who wasn’t paying attention.

“Um…” was my only response, Nathan was flirty, but he’d never taken it that far before. Not that he wasn’t attractive, but I was under the impression that he had a girlfriend. We walked into Qudoba and ordered food and picked a table, Nathan

“What’s up with Nathan.” I waited and asked Matt who dug into his burrito.

“Wah yuh mun?” He asked with his mouth full of food.

“Well clearly you never were taught table manners.”

“Shut up.”

“Anyway, doesn’t Nathan have a girlfriend?”

“Yeah, but apparently it was a drifting apart type thing. And he’s interested in some other lady.”

“Oh.” I said noticing that Nathan was coming back from the restroom. He sat down before I thought to scoot over to where he couldn’t sit next to me in the booth.

“So what are you guys doing this weekend?” Nathan asked

“Practicing, and chillin’.” Matt said before taking another huge bite of his burrito.

“I don’t know yet.” I responded.

“We should all go do something.” Nathan said casually, this made me realize his flirting was just harmless like it was with every other girl he knew.

“Yeah, we could go drinkin’ after our gig.” Matt stated mouth full of food again.

“Right. Kim?” He said turning to me,

“Yeah, just text me to let me know.”

“Your phone is ringing.” Matt said with his mouth still full.

It was Michael, so I answered.

“Whaddup.”

“What are you doing crazy?”

“Eating with some cool kids.”

“Well Chase wants to go see a movie tonight and would like to make it double date.”

“He’s got a date?”

“Yeah, he’s afraid of getting stood up, so he wanted to see what we were doing.”

“Okay that’s fine, I’m up for it.”

“I’ll pick you up at 4:00.”

“That’s in like 30 minutes.”

“Well hurry up then.” He said before hanging up.

“I have to go.” I said finishing off my food.

“Okay, I’ll text you later.” Nathan said, and Matt nodded.

I hadn’t put on any make up, and I was wearing jeans and a shirt. This would not do for a date, even if it were going to be a double date.
-------------------------

“Michael where are we going?” I asked as he drove past the street Chase lived on.

“You’ll see.”

“What movie are we seeing?” I asked finishing up my hair.

“Will you just finish primping and stop asking questions?” He said as I gaped at him.

“Well, excuse me.” I said as I finished primping. He continued to drive; I felt it odd that we were heading towards the complete other side of town. It seemed like we were heading towards the arboretum. Which made me smile, remembering one of our first outings. It wasn’t planned, but it happened.

“I never took you for a nature photographer.” Michael said as I snapped a picture of him playing with a weed.

“It’s the best way to learn on still life and natural light.” I said absently as I continued to snap more pictures.

“I see.” He muttered as I snapped another picture. I noticed that he was smirking and looking at me in the picture.

“What?” I asked looking up from the screen on my Nikon.

“You’re beautiful.” He said his smirk turning into a grin.

“Yes, I know. But these pictures are supposed to be serious and somewhat candid.” I said feigning annoyance.

“Oh really now? So I’m not even allowed to compliment the photographer?” he said attempting to pout.

“Well sometimes yes, but you’re not allowed to ruin photos.” I sniffed, and the next thing I knew my camera was being snatched out of my hands. I was the subject; Michael started snapping pictures of me. I attempted to cover my face, but he grabbed my wrists and ended up tackling me to the ground. While he straddled me he took pictures and ticked me at the same time. I was so shocked by the turn of events since he had never seemed all that physically strong. I was being ticked to the point where I couldn’t breathe.

“You give?” he said as he continued to take pictures.

“Yes.” I heaved out in a sigh trying to catch my breath.

“Good, now you have plenty of material for your portfolio.” He smirked still sitting on top of me.

“Michael, it’s not that you’re heavy or anything. But we’re on the ground in a public place.”

“And?” he asked looking around.

“Well, what if someone were to come by. Like a child…” I said sitting up on my elbows.

“I suppose that could scar them, seeing two people tumbling around in the grass.” He chuckled and stood up, then held out his hand to help me up. He pulled me up showing his hidden physical strength, making me end up against his chest. It seemed inevitable that he was going to kiss me. He was looking back and forth between my eyes and mouth. But he didn’t after a deep breath and looked to the side, where a woman was walking with her dog.

“I should probably get going to get ready for work.” He said clearing his throat.

“Yeah, I need to practice.” I said walking towards where my bag was. At this point I was used to somehow being stuck in the ‘friend zone’, so I knew what I had to do after this outing with Michael. I had to stay aloof, and enigmatic. I had to busy myself with my other friends, so when I said I didn’t have to time to hang out it wouldn’t be a complete lie. I don’t really need any more guy friends, even though most of the guy friends I have are gay. I had set my resolve by the end of my bag packing, as I turned around I saw Michael still waiting.

“You didn’t have to wait for me.” I said as he and I started walking towards our cars.

“Why not?”

“Well you said you had to get ready for work, I don’t want to make you late.”

“Kim, It doesn’t take me that long to get ready.” He stated giving me a sideways look.

“Oh, well never mind then.” I shrugged. We were at the parking lot by this time; I unlocked my car and realized his was next to mine.
“Well I guess I’ll see you later.” I stated putting my bag in my car before turning to wave goodbye and get into my car. As I did he put his arms out for a hug, I didn’t want to make this awkward. So I leaned in for a one-armed-side-hug, but instead Michael pulled me in for a full on hug. He then kissed me. It sounds cliché but I had never been kissed like this before. Where my breath was caught in my throat, where I automatically let my arms go around his neck. Since our fist date 3 weeks ago I was hoping he would kiss me. I pulled away as he looked down at me searching my eyes.

“Kim, my life is complicated right now. But I still want to be with you, so I’m sorry if it seems like I send mixed signals.” He stated making me blink. That’s not normally the thing you want to hear after being thoroughly kissed.

“There’s a girl you just broke up with right?” I said letting my arms fall to my sides.

“Something like that, but-“

“I know.” I said looking down, feeling a little defeated.

“You know what?” he said turning my chin up to face him.

“You like me a lot and stuff.” I sighed glancing to the side avoiding his gaze.

“Yes, but that’s not what I was getting at. I was going to say that I needed you to be patient with me, because I want to be with you.” He smiled gently. I blinked at him once again, trying to read him. I stepped back hoping to put distance between he and I.

“Okay, well have a good night at work.” I half smiled, before being pulled into his arms again.

“Why do I get the feeling that you’re trying to get away from me? And that my calls and texts will be ignored from today on?” He stated looking me straight in the eye.

“Look, I don’t have time to play games. I-“

“Games? Who’s playing games? I just told you that I wanted to be with you, and my life is a little complicated. But not to the point where we can’t be together.” He looked confused.

“I don’t want to be a rebound.” I stated firmly.

“Oh trust me, you aren’t.” He said just as firmly, before kissing me again. This kiss was more persistent, like he was trying to prove he was telling the truth. His hands started to roam, groping making me gasp. He continued as he pushed me against my car, his tongue and mine together. He pulled away suddenly, leaving me breathless.

“Does that make you feel like a rebound?” He asked hoarsely. I shook my head as I licked my lips.

“Shit.” He hissed before he continued his assault with his mouth and hands.

I grinned remembering how Michael was almost late to work, I remembered how he claimed he absolutely had to talk to me that night to explain himself.

“We’re here.” He said turning off the car and getting out and coming around to open my door.

“Thank you kind sir.” I smiled as I looked around to see that were indeed at the arboretum. But more than Chase was there. There was Chase, Adam, Nathan, Coleen, they all had their instruments and were set up next to a table with dinner and candles set up. I turned to look at Michael and he nodded towards the table, I looked at my friends who had started to play a jazz ballad.

“It was 6 months ago today that I kissed you, and we started dating.” Michael said as we sat down.

I had no words.

“I just wanted to let you know that I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Regardless of the shit your or my friends try to start up.” He stated taking my hand in his.

“You made this?” I said finally finding my voice, and glancing at the food in front of us.

“Yes, all your favorites.” He smiled chuckling a little. “Kim, I know it hasn’t been that long, but I know for a fact I am falling for you.” Michael said making my heart leap in my chest by the expression on his face.

“Me too.” I sniffed trying not to cry.

“Let’s eat before it gets cold, then we can dance.” He smirked and glanced at my friends who had started on a more upbeat song. I couldn’t stop looking at Michael and the more I looked at him, the more I realized I had already fallen for him. I loved him.