Love the Loveless

I felt Jealousy burning inside me how she cuddled up next to Ryan all kissy and lovey Dovey.
I saw her glance over at me. Her cheeks flushed.She giggled and kissed his cheek. If looks could kill... OK JACKY calm down.
I will not be played like that, I know exactly what she's doing, Candy used to play that way.
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

I walked off the tour bus and to the stage. One of the roadies handed me my guitar, I made sure it was tooned and Practiced a little. We were now walking up the stage. The crowd was going INSANE.
"Okay Motherfuckers we have a new experience for you! I got Jacky to agree to actually talk!!" Ronnie said with a chuckle. The crowd looked at me.
I put a blank expression on my face and walked to the mic.
"'Pip pip Cheerio OUCH Charlie bit my finger!!"I said into the mic. The crowd was laughing so hard. But i don't get it. It's just a accent Americans have accents....
I felt something nipping at my feet. I smiled and bent down and picked up Charlie. I saw Hayden laughing at the other end of the stage.
"This is the cute fucker that bit my finger, and that,' I pointed at Hayden, " is his mom. Come here Hayden!" She turned bright red and walked onstage she took Charlie from me and held her head low. I used my fingers to lift her chin up I leaned down and kissed her, She began kissing back. I Traced my tongue over her bottom lip. She opened and i entered. I Heard wolf whistles from the crowd and cheering. She pulled back. And i looked inter her eyes. We moved away from the microphone
"I love you Hayden Murphy." I whispered. I saw the tears hit her eyes.
"I love you too Jacky." She whispered back She ran off stage.
"ALRIGHT MOTHER FUCKERS THIS IS I'M NOT A VAMPIRE!"Ronnie yelled into the mic. I began to play.
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

I Handed off my guitar to the Roady. I was sweating through my white sleeveless shirt. NOW was time for the signings.
We walked back to a table. I sat at the end Hayden was on the other with Ronnie.
"OH MY GOT I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE BRITISH!"Girls screamed at me. I just smiled and nodded.
We were signing things and a shy girl walked up to me.
"Um h-hi c-can i have a p-picture?"She stuttered.
"Yeah sure Love."I said. I walked over to the picture part. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. I leaned down and kissed her cheek.
She giggled.
" I'm Mia, and How long have you played the guitar?"She asked.
"Well Mia i have been playing since i was fifteen and now I'm Twenty Three..So eight years." I said. She smiled. I felt holes trying to be burned into me. I guess the girl did too because she looked around.
"Well it was nice meeting you."She said i smirked.
"You too."I said I turned and walked to the table and what i saw... I had to double take on what i was seeing. Hayden was all over Ryan. My jaw literally dropped. I ignored it and sat back down signing auto graphs.
Looks like i just got played...Again. Wait but i wasn't even dating her. SO WHY THE FUCK DO I CARE.
Because you love her.
Shut up.
The marker that i was holding was now broken in half by my grip and ink was leaking everywhere all over my hand and on the table. AND i just now realized it. I dropped it. I turned and saw Hayden still on Ryan cuddling. She didn't notice me at all nor the red ink all over me and my hands. Ronnie and Derek looked horrified I just looked down and cleaned off my hand on my jeans and continued Signing. When we got done i was the first one on the bus i went straight for the fridge and grabbed a bottle of vodka.
Everyone else got on I undid the cap and took a large swig. Everyone was staring but Hayden she was to busy with the dog.
"Well, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS STARING AT, BLOODY HELL CAN I NOT GET A FUCKING DRINK!?" I hissed Their hands shot up in defense. Hayden's head shot up. I rolled my eyes and walked to the bunks And took another swig.
AM I NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH!? I threw the bottle and it busted somewhere. I walked back to the front. I wasn't even drunk. Ronnie stood up and came over to me.
"Jacky what has gotten into you? I have never seen you so pissed!"He said
"Nothing Ronnie."I snapped. His eyes widened.
"Jacky what the hell!?"He snapped back.
"I'm sick of being played Ronnie first Jessica,Then Kim and Then Candy and now Hayden." I whispered so only he could hear. He ran his hand through his hair.
"I'm Done Ronnie i am not going out with anyone until they prove that they won't hurt me but until then. I'm a free man."I said.
"That's understandable but what did Hayden-" I cut him off by grabbing his chin with my hand and turned it to them. Hayden was cuddled into Ryan. Not bothering to care then turned him back to me. I gave him a smile which was probably scaring him.
"Perfect yeh?"I said. And shrugged and walked back to the bunks and laid in Ronnie's.
FUCK MY LIFE.