Love the Loveless

Am I dead?No? FUCK! I could here the Beeping Of the heart moniter. I Felt ice cold, But my hands were warm, and they felt weird. Was someone holding my hand? Mom? Pffffft No. Then i felt pressure on my forhead. "She's not like ice anymore."Someone said "But she's been in her coma for a week and her progress could drop or rise."The person who i was guessing was a doctor. I was out for a fucking week...and who the fuck was he talking to?
I tried to open my eyes, they felt as heavy as lead, I couldn't. There was pain in my arms, Probably where i massacre'd them. Why couldn't they have minded there own buisness and let me die!?. I wanted to cry but nothing would move, I just wanted to curl up no matter who was watching, i wan't to cuddle someone, anyone who will allow me too.i.want.to.die. I felt a tear go down my cheek. I heard someone walk out, probly the doctor, more tears came down my face. I felt someone wipe them away. "Whatever nightmare your having im sorry."The british guy said. I wanted to squeeze his hand. I tried but i couldn't, Come on Worthless squeeze.My finger twitched. "Hayden?"He whisperd my name in a questioning tone.
His accent sounded Amazing. I tried opening my eyes again i Failed. Like i did at life, I'm A failure im such a fucking fail-"Your not a failure don't fail me."He said if i could move my face would be gaping. My heart beated faster..so did the moniter. "Hayden, your parents stopped by and was talking so cruel about you."He said a sigh escaped my lips..he stiffened then , i wanted whoever to cuddle me, and hold me. I've never had the feeling of wanted to be loved or hugged or cuddled because i always fear of rejection. But around whoever i was with..i felt safe. And thats a first. Let me die.Please!
"Hayden im going to lunch."He said. He gentally let go of my hand, I heard him walk out. I had this huge pain come on my arms. This time i used all my strength and open my eyes, I Began moving, I Was angry so i shot up and got out of my hospital bed, I stood up and my legs were numb i felt the feeling coming back,
Tears fled my eyes. I grabbed the closest thing i could find which was a chair and i threw it, It hit the glass look in window and it shatterd causeing nurses to run in, "YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING LET ME DIE!"I screamed "Nurse Got get the Euthanasia." The doctor said, i knew what that was Tranquelizer. "DONT FUCKING COME NEAR ME!" The nurse ran out then i heard the intercome "Code White in Room 639." I Looked at my room number SON OF A BITCH. I ripped out my i.v "LET ME IN THERE!"I heard the guy from, When i was out. I saw a nurse come in with a needle. "Don't you fucking touch me with that, Come near me and i will knock the shit out of you."I said with venom I looked at the broken glass, He was looking through it. I was staring at him, For a long time, i was calm, so i was guessing the doctors thought it was a good time for the nurse to come stab me with it, I felt a sting in my arm, The nurse was standing right there. Bad..Idea...
I jerked it out. And i grabbed her by her shirt. And threw her against the wall i tried to go at her but everything went numb, The guy i was staring at rushed in and caught me, and picked me up bridal style and laid me down. He was looking down at my face and i killed him with the words i whisperd. "You should have let me die." i saw his light blue eyes go glossy "Never."He whisperd back.I closed my eyes and went to a medicine induced sleep
...It felt like i blinked, when i opened my eyes 4 guys were layin around in chairs sleeping. One had longish black hair, One had red hair, The other shortish dark brown hair, And the one from earlyer, His light brown hair,his head was laid at the foot of my bed his hand in mine. His facial features amazed me He's beautiful, Why would he want to save a ugly person like me!? I Don't care i wanted to be held hopefully he would. I Squeezed his hand for him wake him up he stirred, I squeezed him again his eyes opened. I Felt tears come to my eyes. "Hold me. Please, Hold me."I whisperd My voice sounded bad from the tears coming up. He got up and wrapped his arms around me and held me. I Felt so hurt in a Emotional way. I Cried into his neck. I Dont know why i was doing this to a complete stranger.
"I'm sorry."I whisperd into his ear. He just held me tighter. "You have nothing to be sorry about."He whisperd back. I Let go so he could sit down. He sat on the side of my bed. It, Was scilent. "Why didn't you just ditch me."I said. His head turned to me in coplete horror and shock written on his face. "I couldn't watch you die."He said and moved the hair out of my face. My face fell. "But everyone else could."I whisperd. He turned to me again. "But i couldn't."He whisperd. Tears hit my cheeks again, He wiped them away. A guy yawned and got up, The one with short dark brown hair. He stretched then looked at Jacky then at me. "Hi?"He said I nod for a response. "Uh Jacky would you like to introduce us?"He asked ...Jacky.. It fits him.. "Well i don't know much about her actually i just know her name,birthday,And that her parents are the reson for this probally."He said.
I Decided to jump in, "Hayden."I said. "Ryan, And that over there is Ronnie and this ones Mika and the one that saved you Jacky."He said i Nod. "RONNIE, MIKA!" Ryan Yelled "No Dont wanna."Ronnie mumbled Mika woke up and looked over at him then at me then at Jacky then back at me. He smiled. "Good Morning."He said I gave him a weak smile back. "Good morning."I said back "Ronnie wake up and meet Hayden!"Mika said to ronnie He stirred then looked at me, Then shot up, They crowd around my bed. "Well Good...morning sleeping beauty."Ronnie said I Gave him a smile, "Ditto."I said He laughed. I Looked at the broken window and frowned. "When do i get out."I said, They looked at eachother then they all stared at Jacky. "Don't stare at me."He said "Call in the doctor."He added
Mika took my other hand. Ryan walked out to call in the doctor. "Mika i like your hair."I said he smiled. "Well arn't you sweet, And thank you."He said "where did you get it done?"I asked He giggled, "I did it myself."He said I grabbed my long black hair and looked at the ends. "Mines not good."I said "Well if you would let me i would be glad to do your hair."Mika said. i smiled and squeezed his hand "Sure."I said. He smiled. Then Ryan and a doctor walked in. "Hey, Hayden Im Doctor Hutchens, and i will be your doctor, We have to run test on you then that will determin when you can leave."He said in a snobby tone "Ok."I said He walked over to me and felt my head, "Normal."He said in that snobby tone again It was annoying me so bad, "Well i'll have a nurse in here."He said and walked out "Dick."I mutterd earning laughter from others. "Read my mind."Jacky said.. I felt guilty about earlier, with the tranq and everything I Squeezed his hand, He looked up at me.
"Jacky im sorry about what you had to see earlier."I said. "It's fine."He said "You Know...Your taller than i thought you was."He added i Laughed. Mika looked at him "How tall is she?"He asked "She's a bit shorter than i am."He said "But not that bad i thought most girls were short."He said i laughed. "Not me."I said "AND i really have to fucking pee."I said, They all stared at me, Then Jacky. Oh hell no he aint going in there with me! "Oh god no."I said "I think if i can throw a chair i can make it on my own."I said they laughed. "Oh we know that, But you need someone to bring your I.v."Ronnie said I face palmed. "Mika Would you please."I said he put his hands on his hips."I HAVE TO FUCKING PEE."I yelled. He walked over to the I.v. and waited for me to get up, I Leaned up and swung my legs over, and stood up, Jacky helped me up, And walked me to the bathroom, I got in there, Then Jacky left me in privacy, And mika put the Iv in there and walked out. I did my buisness and held the i.v. and opened the door Jacky was already there he took my I.v. I stretched and continued Standing.

"Where am i going to stay?" I asked my self outloud. "With us."Ryan said "In the middle of tour?"Ronnie asked "How will she fit with us on the tour bus?"Mika asked... Tour bus?..Tour? What the fuck? "Tour?"I asked They all looked at me. Mika smiled. "What are your favorite bands?"He asked "Uhm.. The old escape the fate..um and Ronnie's new band and, Motionless in white, Bless the fall, Cold play."I said Ronnie stared at me, We had like a stare war kinda.. "What!?"I asked him they all start laughing but ronnie.."Ok Hayden look at me and then think Of Ronnie Radke."He said I stared at him like he was retarded..wait..holyjesusmotherofgod, My eyes widend. "Oh jesus."I said, I looked at all of them, Then it hit Me. "Damn it i must be fucking blind."I said..They laughed. "No worries."Ryan said "But seriously im not letting her go home she's coming with us i'll give my bunk to her."Jacky said "She has to."He added

"...Wait...what?"I said he looked at me. "I'm not letting you go anywhere near your home."He said, "And im not letting you live in the streets."He said."Ok then she'll go with us."Ronnie said. A nurse walked in and looked at me.."Oh Hey arn't you the one that stabbed me with a tranq?"I asked She looked kinda frightened, I popped my knuckles. "i-i- had to a-and im just here to draw blood."She studderd. I let out the creepyest laugh i have ever laughed. "Go right ahead mrs,Stabpeoplewithatranquelizer."I said. She walked over to me like as if i was a crazy person, And did what she had to do.
She left, The band looked at me. "She stabbed you......with a tranquelizer?"Ryan asked. I nodded "I threw her into a wall."I said "Then Jacky caught me and picked me up and laid me down."I added He nodded. A doctor walked in with the clothes i had on when they found me..
They took out the I.v.. I raised an eyebrow.."Get out for a second guys."I said they nodded and walked out so i could put on my clothes, I slid off my hospital dress and put on my clothes and shoes, And walked out."Are you Ready?"Jacky asked. I nodded.