Love the Loveless

When I heard Jacky almost scream to the world that he didn't like me like that I couldn't stop a tear from running down my cheek. It hurt but I knew I shouldn't feel this way. He's almost 6 years older then I am. And he's a rock star! Who was I kidding. Oh well at least I can act nice to this bitch. 

I sighed and walked over to the table after they were about to walk back into the front. Ryan and Ronnie rushed over and I laid across their laps, my head on Ronnie's lap and my legs in Ryan's. They're both already awesome friends and Ronnie quietly asked me, "What's wrong Hayden? If it's that bitch Candy don't let her get to you." I sighed quietly. It wasn't just that Jacky was with her instead it was mainly how she looked at me when she saw my arms.

She looked at me like I was a disease. And that she was judging me just like that. She thinks she's better then me... Well I guess she is, to Jacky at least. She's prettier, she has bigger tits and she's a bimbo. If only you could get her to keep her mouth shut she would be the perfect rockstar girlfriend. While I'm just... Me. Nothing special about me at all.

I heard them walk out and they laid on the couch together. I hope that bitch falls off when she is sleeping and hurts herself. I know it's mean for me to think that I don't want any real damage. Maybe just a kinked neck and sprained ankle. Yeah. So see I'm not a total bitch I'm just jealous.

Ronnie stroked my hair and glanced back and saw that they were asleep. "C'mon Hayden let's get you into a bunk okay? Jacky's right you really need to rest." he said and I nodded sitting up and pulled my legs out of Ryan's  lap. He smiled sadly and me and I shook my head trying to drop the subject and I slowly went back, following Ronnie.

He pulled back the curtain and I glared slightly. all of Candy's stuff was under the blankets. It was all super bright pink shit and I looked at Ronnie.

"I would have never guessed that Jacky would like a bitch like that" I said and started to move it slightly so I had some room to sleep. Ronnie lightly patted my back and whispered a quick, "I'm so sorry about this Hayden." all I could do was nod a little as I crawled in and acted like I was asleep. My mind was only filled of horrible creatures and a few questionable thoughts.

After almost two hours I decided I would not be able to fall asleep. All I could do was lay there. I felt even more disgusting then I ever had. I still have the cuts on my arms which will take forever to heal, and the rest of my fucked up body.

I quietly started to choke out sobs and I dug my face into the pillow. I was ugly and stupid and I would never be good enough. I would only fuck up everyones life. I really just want to be anywhere but here. I still kind of wish that Jacky didn't save my life. I could be spending the rest of eternity six feet under like where I was supposed to be.

He'll never want you. You're ugly, a fuck up and no one will ever love you Hayden. You will never be good enough. You saw Candy, she was pretty and the exact opposite of you. You'll never live up to that.

The small voice in my head told me. I knew it was true. I'd never be as perfect as that bimbo. I wish guys liked girls like me though. I sighed. I was about to try to fall asleep until I felt a sharp vibration at my side. I jumped what felt like fifty feet in the air and I was about to ignore it until it kept going off. I know this is a horrible thing to do but I had to look at it. It was Candy's phone I could tell by the pink and diamond phone cover. Stupid rich girl.

I bit my lip and slowly picked it up looking over the text. It simply said... Well it didn't say much it was mainly a picture of a guys dick and all it said was, "You know I'm better then Jacky sexy... I'm glad you're back."

My jaw dropped. I didn't know the number but I have something on her now. Oh she better watch her back. I quickly forwarded to me and deleted the message.

Better play her cards well.