If I Was Your Boyfriend

Justin’s Point of View

I stare into Chrissy’s eyes searching for what she was keeping from me. Her eyes didn’t match the smile that played on her face. I kiss each of her hands before standing up from the floor.

‘Are we okay?’ I turn away from the door to ask. ‘You know, you and I.’

‘Yeah, we’re perfect.’ She nods repeatedly.

‘Good.’ I grab her by the hands and walk her back out to the back room.

My grandpa apologizes to Chrissy for his question but she assures him it was completely okay. I sit down in the recliner and pull her down with me, draping her legs over my lap. Before long we all headed out to go back to my dad’s place. I changed for bed before slipping into the guest room quietly.

‘What are you doing?’ Chrissy asks with a sleepy smile.

‘I wanted to see you.’ I explain tiptoeing to the bed and sitting beside her, ‘I hate sleeping away from you.’

‘I sleep better when you’re around.’ Chrissy admits tossing the sheets over my legs, ‘please don’t go.’

‘I won’t.’ I promise wrapping an arm around her.

I softly stroke her hair as she falls asleep in my arms. Once I fully believe she’s out cold I slip out of the bed to get Rocky from downstairs. My dad was sitting next to my pile of folded sheets that awaited me on the sofa.

‘I know you two live together back in LA, I was young once but you also know my rules while you’re here with your little sister and brother running around here.’ Dad comments as I come down the stairs.

‘Right, my mistake.’ I sit on the sofa pulling the sheets over my legs. ‘Chrissy’s actually asleep. I was just waiting there with her until she drifted off.’

I wait on the sofa for dad to go up to his room for bed but he stays in the living room talking with me. I nod every few words as I casually look back towards the stairs. I didn’t want Chrissy to wake up to an empty side of the bed after that look in her eyes. My dad continued on about something Jax did the other day; I couldn’t really process it, as my eyelids grew with more and more weight each second.

‘Justin?’ a soft, tired voice assaults my slumber.

I blink in the darkness knowing it was Chrissy. I reach for the lamp’s light beside me and tug the cord. Chrissy slightly winces at the light but still stands in front of me with her blanket wrapped over her shoulders.

‘Is everything okay?’ I ask sitting up on the sofa making room for her. ‘Sit down.’

‘No.’ she answers glumly as she sits beside me, ‘I keep having these nightmares.’

‘About him?’ I couldn’t even bring myself to let his vile name fall from my mouth.

‘Yeah.’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ I grab her by the waist and pull her onto my lap forcing her to look down at me.

‘They seem so real.’ She shutters against my body with a frown. ‘Every single night.’

‘Who is all in these dreams of yours?’

‘You, me, Carter, sometimes my parents or Danielle.’

‘And what happens?’

‘It’s usually something with either you or me.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean he’s usually hurting you, or he’s attempting to hurt me.’

‘How?’

‘Different ways but I watch helplessly as he hurts you. Badly.’ I could see the deep worry that rested behind those beautiful eyes of hers.

‘Chrissy, I want you to listen me very carefully when I say this to you,’ I pause briefly to study her face. ‘Carter isn’t hurting anyone. Not you. Not me. I can guarantee you that if he ever tries to come back into your life, I’ll make him pay for it.’

‘Justin.’ She sighs lowly, ‘these dreams scare me.’

‘I am going to do everything to protect you for as long as I live with every single part of me. No one is going to hurt you, especially Carter. I’m not going to let that happen. Do you believe me?’

‘Yes.’ She nods tightening her grip on me, keeping me close to her. ‘I believe you.’

‘Good. I don’t want you to worry about this anymore okay.’

‘Okay.’

‘Did you have a nightmare just now? That why you came down here?’

‘I woke up and you were gone.’

‘I’m sorry, my dad was waiting down here for me and he reminded me of his house rules.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘No, no, no. Don’t be. It’s fine. You can stay down here with me if you want.’ I offer.

‘I don’t want to get you in trouble.’

‘I don’t think he’d mind you being down here. There are no doors down here that we can close so we’re out in the open.’

‘Thanks Justin.’ She slides from my lap and curls up next to me.

‘You don’t have to, really. Do you want to watch a movie or something?’

‘Sure.’

I grab the remote from the coffee table in front of me and kick my legs up wrapping an arm around her. She nestles herself against me through a yawn as a flick through the movie channels.

‘What are you in the mood for baby?’

‘You can pick.’ She says tiredly, and I know she’s on the verge of crashing.

I come to a stop at 2 Guns and turn the volume down slightly. I look down at Chrissy to see her smiling up at me as she rested her head on my chest.

‘What?’ I inquire with a smile of my own.

‘What did I do to have you in my life?’

‘I have been asking myself the same question about you for months now.’

‘I love you.’

‘And I love you.’

It wasn’t even ten minutes later and Chrissy was out. I lay her body down across the sofa then take the recliner with Rocky. She grips onto the pillow as she would with my body back at the apartment. I fall asleep looking at her sleep inches away from me. When I wake up Chrissy isn’t there. Dad was in the kitchen cooking; the smell of bacon was evident.

‘Dad, have you seen Chrissy?’ I ask stretching the crook out of my neck.

‘Your sister stole her.’ He chuckles in response, ‘they’re upstairs.’

I lean against the wall and peek into Jazymn’s room to see Chrissy sitting on her floor in front of the large dollhouse. Jazymn places doll after doll into Chrissy’s lap while she pushing around a small pink sports car specifically designed for her Barbie. Chrissy smiles as she watches Jazzy’s joy. She talks in a high-pitched voice, making her doll come to life. I stiff out a small laugh watching them from a distance. I could only imagine Chrissy playing with her own kids one day. She’d make one great mother in a few years and someone the happiest guy on the earth. I’d be honored to have those kids call me dad. I slip away unnoticed and head to the shower. When I get out Chrissy is lying across the bed with Rocky beside her.

‘There you are.’ She smiles as I drop my dirty clothes into the hamper.

‘Hey.’ I lean down to kiss her lips, ‘did you sleep okay afterwards?’

‘Yes, I did.’

‘Good, come on. Breakfast is ready.’

Chrissy’s Point of View

After breakfast Justin decides to take me around Stratford to see some off his friends and walk around a few of his stomping grounds, or so he liked to refer them. I walk beside him in the beautiful streets of Stratford, locking my hand with his.

‘This is my old school.’ He points out coming to a stop, ‘used to get into so much trouble here.’

‘I could see you as the class clown.’ I laugh imagining a younger Justin running around the playground outside.

‘What kind of kid were you?’

‘I was quiet.’ I look into the deep brown eyes that looked back at me, ‘stayed to myself.’

‘I bet you were cute.’ He laughs running a hand through my hair, ‘one of the girls who don’t know just how amazing they are. I bet your arts and crafts were just a little bit better than everyone else’s; you stayed in the lines when you were coloring while everyone else made a mess of the page. I bet you brought the best thing in during show-n-tell. Everyone wanted to see it and you being you, let each and every person have a turn. I also bet that you may have been one of the last to be picked during some dumb game at recess but you would surprise them of just how good you really are. You’d probably kick the ball harder than most of the guys. You would have the best snacks at lunch, thanks to your mom. She’d send you off with tons and tons of sweets and snacks and again, you being you, you would share with anyone who asked. If I could go back, I would be your friend, no questions asked.’

‘Really?’

‘No, I’d probably have a crush on you so I’d have to be mean to you but I’d secretly scribble your name down in the back of my Power Rangers notebook and tell my mom all about you.’ He teases swinging our hands back and forth.

‘I would probably have a crush on you too.’ I say in return. ‘Secretly.’

Justin and I continue to walk around as he tells me all of what he used to do around Stratford with his friends. People who walked on the sidewalks waved at Justin from a distance, letting him enjoy his time here.

‘Time for my favorite part of the tour.’ Justin smiles proudly looking at the sign above us, ‘Avon Theater.’

‘So, this is it?’ I smile picturing Justin sitting on these very steps with a guitar belting out high notes as his small fingers strummed against the chords.

A small square caught my eyes at the base of the steps. Justin’s very own star. I only saw pictures of it, but they honestly didn’t do it justice. Justin Bieber. Recording Artist. Justin crouches down beside me to touch the star with the tips of his fingers.

‘Sometimes I actually can’t believe that I made it off of the steps and onto large stages touring the world.’ Justin breathes out as another heart-warming smile melts onto his face.

‘I think this moment deserves a picture, yeah?’

‘Yeah I think it does.’ Justin nods standing to his feet and stopping a man who was walking by, ‘excuse me could you take our picture?’

Justin and I sit down beside his star both pointing at it as the flash goes off.

‘Thank you!’

‘You’re welcome.’ He says before continuing down the road.

‘This is going onto Instagram, right now.’ He grins opening the app.

I peer over his shoulder to watch the screen as he typed.

Justinbieber: there’s no place like home. Showing @chrissythorton around town for the day and decided to stop off at the legendary Avon Theater. One of those many days where I’m so touched and amazed by what all of you have done for me. Could never thank you enough. Love u #mybeliebers.

‘That was very well put.’ I compliment as Justin and I go to the Pizzeria he loves to meet up with his Canada friends.

‘Chrissy, hey!’ Nichole cheers hurrying down the road with Ryan behind her.

‘Nichole!’ I beam returning the embrace, ‘I’m so happy to see you both.’

‘It feels like its been months since we left LA.’ Ryan comments placing a hand on Nichole’s back, ‘when in reality it hasn’t been more than three weeks.’

‘Just admit you missed me.’ Justin teases giving Ryan and Nichole each a hug.

As we were waiting for Justin’s other friends to show up Ryan and Justin talk about the matching tattoos they were set to get in a few days. I get the eerie feeling that somewhere, someone was watching me.

‘There they are.’ Justin points to the handful of guys walking from across the road in a rush. ‘Took you long enough!’

I just hope that I was wrong.