If I Was Your Boyfriend

Justin stares at his ex girlfriend then back at me with surprised eyes. I hadn’t seen Selena in months – since the MTV Movie Awards actually. Her smile quickly faded when she laid eyes on Justin and I. I wrap my arm around him protectively holding him close to me.

‘Don’t worry,’ Justin whispers against my ear, ‘I’m all yours.’

I smile in response, not loosening the grip I had on his arm. Selena’s tried multiple times to interfere with Justin and I. She was obviously having a difficult time realizing that Justin wasn’t hers anymore. Justin places a hand on my leg comfortingly drawing circles slowly with his index finger.

‘There he is,’ Justin nods his head towards Ryan who was making his way to the front door, ‘It’s about time.’

‘Don’t you look dapper Ryan?’ I tease looking at his perfectly ironed suit.

‘When your girlfriend is actually in the show you have to look presentable at these things.’

‘Did I just hear you say that your girlfriend was in the show?’ Selena is now standing a few feet away from Ryan. ‘Who is she?’

‘Her name’s Nichole.’ Ryan clips not meeting Selena’s awaiting eyes.

‘Justin, long time no see.’ Selena directs her attention to Justin, ‘There’s cameras filming all of this.’

I quickly glance around the room to see the photographers hanging on to our every word with their large cameras. I could see the headlines now. They’d talk about some reoccurring love triangle the three of us were stuck in. They’d claim that Selena and I were battling for Justin’s love. Some would even say that Justin secretly wanted Selena back.

‘Hey, Selena.’ Justin swallows uncomfortably, ‘How are you?’

‘I’m all right. How have you been?’

I nearly scoff at Selena’s response. Selena could not be that oblivious to the last few months of torture that Justin and I endured. My mom says that they were talking about Justin, Carter, and I every single day just about. People were still talking about it today as it was a week ago.

‘I’ve seen better days.’ Justin simply retorts giving my leg a supportive squeeze.

‘Hello, Chrissy.’ She finally acknowledges my existence with an insincere smile.

‘Hey.’ I look down at my bouncing foot beside Justin’s shiny dress shoe.

My phone buzzes in the clutch on my lap. It was my Danielle. She’s been calling me several times throughout the day since she found out the news about her being pregnant. I didn’t mind because I know that she’s depending on my support right now.

‘It’s Danielle, I’ll be right back.’ I murmur to Justin standing to my feet.

‘Hurry back – the show’s going to start!’ Justin calls after me as I scurry off to the bathrooms.

‘Hey, Dani.’ I answer leaning against the counter, ‘What’s going on?’

‘Hey, has the show started? Don’t tell me that I’m completely interrupting right now.’

‘No, we’re waiting for it to start. Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m just a little – down I guess. We were all supposed to take that trip together. Is it everything I imagine?’

‘I promise that as soon as your parents let you leave the back porch we’re coming to London. The six of us, maybe for Garrett’s birthday.’

‘If I ever get off the back porch.’

‘Selena’s here.’

‘Selena? You have got to be joking!’

‘I wish I was. She’s literally like a few seats down from us.’

‘Did she speak to you guys?’

‘Barely. More Ryan and Justin than me.’

‘Tell Nichole to watch out. Selena’s slithering around.’

‘I’ll pass the message along.’ I laugh tugging on my dress, ‘I better get back out there. I’ll call you when I get back to the hotel, okay?’

‘Okay. Text me pictures of Nichole!’

‘I will! Bye Dan.’

‘Bye Chris.’

Justin’s Point of View

Selena quickly sits down in Chrissy’s vacant seat. I hold my breath looking over at Ryan for help. He simply sits back in his seat waiting to see what happens.

‘I wanted to call you, so many times during all of this mess.’ Selena sighs leaning in with compassionate eyes. ‘I just didn’t know how to exactly word what I wanted to say.’

‘That’s okay, Selena. Don’t worry about it.’

‘No, it’s not okay. I can’t help but feel guilty about all of this.’

‘Guilty?’ I raise an eyebrow looking at her.

‘Yeah, I feel guilty. I can’t but think that if I fought harder for you then we would be together. I know deep down that nothing like this would have ever happened when we were together. I know that you feel somewhat responsible for her but you can’t stay with her just because you have some need to fix everything and everyone. This relationship you have with her is, toxic and I can’t sit back and let you destroy yourself over her. First you were in the hospital, then you were held hostage, several hospital trips later here we are. Its fate if you ask me. If you want, I could make the break up easier for her. You know, girl to girl.’ Selena rants on and on and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

I didn’t know if Selena was even worth it at this point. I didn’t know if she was worth the explaining, the justifying or even the breath. I didn’t know whether to flip out or laugh at her. The fact that she was serious was laughable.

‘And I know this is a lot for you to think about right now. I know. I just want you to know that I’m here for you. I know that you feel the same way about me too. I mean we have history and nothing can come between that, right? I’m sorry for bringing all of this up right now when she’s here but I really couldn’t wait any longer. I just saw you here in the same room and I needed you to know how I felt. I miss you Justin. I’ve missed you for so long. It’s not going to be easy but I know together that we can figure it out. You don’t have to say anything right now. I just wanted you to know.’

‘I-…’ I break off at a loss for words on how to let her down easily.

‘Selena, over here.’ Someone calls out to her capturing her attention.

‘I’ll be in touch.’ She flicks her hair over her shoulder before walking off.

‘Did you just hear that?’ I turn to Ryan with wide eyes.

‘Yeah, I did. What are you going to tell her?’

‘I have to tell her that we will never be getting back together.' I’m with Chrissy and she’s all that matters to me. There’s no way that I’m losing her again.’

‘The girl’s out of her mind.’ Ryan shakes his head looking at Selena.

‘All right. I’m telling her now.’

‘Good luck. Hey, bro!’

‘Yeah?’

‘I will have to kill you if you miss my girlfriend’s big moment.’ Ryan laughs but I could see that he was serious.

‘Fair enough – I won’t.’

Chrissy’s Point of View

‘The show will be starting in ten minutes. The fashion show will be starting in ten minutes.’ A voice over the intercom speaks.

‘Hey, where’d Justin go?’ I wonder sitting down beside Ryan.