If I Was Your Boyfriend
one hundred seventy-five.
Almost time for dinner where are you? – Chrissy.
I press send as I anxiously pace back and forth. Tonight Justin and I were going to have a supportive dinner with our parents before court tomorrow morning. Jeremy flew all the way from Canada to be here during our testimonies this week. I would be going tomorrow and Justin the day after. My dad left the kids with Isabelle as much as he hated to just to be here for me. Justin was supposed to land at LAX about two hours ago then come here so we could ride together to his mom’s. As grateful as I was for everyone’s support, the thought of sitting down for over an hour with everyone made me nervous. My parents were giving me sympathetic looks constantly, wondering if and when I would lose it. I just wanted the trial and Carter to be gone for good. I glance out the window looking for any one of Justin’s numerous cars. Nothing. A group of paparazzi have been camped outside the building for the last couple of days since the trial was coming up. Every time I would leave they’d shout the same questions towards me. How was I doing? As if they actually cared. As long as I gave them a half decent picture they could sell at the end of the day. How did I feel about Justin not being the father of Jayde’s baby? Ecstatic honestly, not that I’d ever tell them that.
Knock, Knock
Rocky rushes from his bed to run to the door as he always did. Justin stands there holding a bouquet of flowers in his grasp. Once he hands over the flowers he lifts Rocky up into the air, scratching his back in the process.
‘So sorry I’m late, I stopped to get these.’
‘They’re beautiful, thank you. How was the flight?’ I inquire as he follows me into the kitchen.
‘Long, I didn’t get much sleep last night after the show. After dinner do you want to come over to the house with me so we can just ride to court together?’
‘I’d love that.’
Justin’s Point of View
Chrissy and I walk through her apartment’s lobby where the group of paps waited across the street. I grumble to myself, tightening the grip I had on her waist carefully holding Rocky in my free arm. I hated how they annoyingly hovered over her like vultures. She holds onto my arm, using her fingers to draw along my tattoos. Her doorman and her exchange good evening’s as we get into my car. The flashes from their bulky cameras fail to penetrate the dark tint on the windows. Rocky growls lowly from the backseat, feeling protective over us, Chrissy’s mostly of course. A typical momma’s boy. While we were stuck at the light, I admire her silently as the small black box burned in my pocket. I didn’t know when and how I would ask the second time around but I knew that I was doing everything right this time. Tonight sometime during dinner I was gonna ask Chrissy’s parents for permission. I wasn’t even sure people still did that but I wanted every part of this to be perfect for her. To be worthy enough for her. I remember on our way back from Paris how I asked if she’d be open to spending the rest of her life with me. She told me to ask once all of this stuff with Carter was over. Since we were going to be watching him go away for the rest of his life before the end of this week, hopefully, what better time to ask.
‘What are you thinking about?’ she cuts into my thoughts staring at me attentively.
‘You.’ Was all I say once the light finally changes. ‘Like usual.’
I lead the way into my mom’s house where everyone was waiting. Her dad sat on the sofa beside her mom saying something I couldn’t quite decipher. I take a second to notice his appearance. His face was sunk in, most likely because of the weight lose from all the chemo. He was sporting a nice buzz cut, his dark hair slowly coming back. I remember Chrissy bawling into my clothes telling me how he only had ten months to live. He made it through those ten months and almost six more. The doctors and specialists all called it a miracle. I mean sure, he wasn’t out of the woods just yet because he does still have bad days but I’m glad Chrissy’s getting to spend time with him. I made a couple of calls to the hospital where he gets treated making sure his family wouldn’t have to worry about how they would pay all the expenses. His The doctor told him they had some kind of healthy donation this year allowing him to be one of the lucky patients getting their treatment prices taken care of. If I told Chrissy what I did she would probably insist on paying me back and that’s the last thing I want. I’d do anything in power for her, no questions asked.
‘There they are!’ he announces getting up to hug his daughter. ‘We were starving here.’
During dinner, I get plenty of questions about the tour so far and Chrissy gets asked about her latest sponsorship campaign. I anxiously waited to get them along and while eating I kept trying to figure out how to get them alone.
‘Hey Chris, could you let Rock out back really quick? He’s doing that circling thing.’ I point as Rocky who was in the process of begging for more chicken.
‘So lazy.’ She stifles out a laugh giving me a soft push, ‘come on Rocky.’
‘Can I talk to you two in the living room for a second, please?’ I immediately jump in, not knowing when she’d come back into the house.
As I follow them into the other room, my dad gives me a supportive nod while my mom smiles mouthing “good luck”. I had talked to both of them about it right around the time I wanted to look for a new engagement ring. The old one didn’t have too many good memories so I sold it wanting to start fresh. My parents loved Chrissy and approved immediately, I just hope hers do too.
‘I wanted to get you guys away from Chrissy because I wanted to ask for your blessings. I love your daughter so much and I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else. I can’t honestly. Will you give me the pleasure of your approval in asking her to spend the rest of her life with me.’ I wonder nervously pulling the ring from my pocket.
‘It’s so beautiful.’ Her mom gasps holding the velvet box in her hands, ‘I could never thank you enough for giving her someone to love this much. I would be lucky to have you as a son-in-law.’
‘Thank you ma’am.’
‘I know that I haven’t always been around for her as much as I could’ve been. With your help I got her back in my life and I’m grateful. I appreciate you involving me in something so big in her life. I’ve seen how much you guys care about each other. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see my little girl with someone special to her. Over the year or so since I’ve been back around I really see just how much she means to you. Like Veronica said, I’d be lucky to have you as a son-in-law.’ I could tell that both of them were getting choked up and after Chrissy’s dad mini speech I kind of was too. He extends a hand out to me, giving me a firm shake and a pat on her back.
Rocky runs through the kitchen and into his bed by the door. I could hear Chrissy talking to my mom about something, her voice close. Her mom wipes her eyes repeatedly trying to hide her excitement. I clear my throat pushing the box back into my pocket going to meet her in the kitchen.
‘There you are. I thought you disappeared on me.’
‘You won’t get rid of me that easily.’ I wrap my arms around her tightly.
Chrissy’s Point of View
After sitting around with our families for awhile longer we were on our way back to my apartment. He watches silently and patiently as I dig through my closet for something to wear for the morning.
‘I think the first dress was perfect honestly,’ he calls as I kick out of the fourth dress.
‘It felt like I was suffocating.’
‘Come here, Chris.’ He pats a space on his leg, extending an arm out to me, ‘You know, I don’t think this is about the clothes. Could it maybe be about something bigger? Like, seeing Carter for the first time in months?’
‘Why do I have to go first?’ I mutter leaning my head on his chest.
‘I know that you’re scared and that’s okay. I’m scared too but I promise you that everything will be okay. He can’t hurt us, not this time. We just have to deal with him for this week and he’ll be gone for good. I can’t tell you enough of how brave you are or how proud of you I am. You have dealt with nearly everything – you can do this. I have so much faith in you.’
‘I love you.’
‘I love you too.’
I get dressed before following Justin out of the apartment. Rocky leaps into the backseat, shuffling around until he can get comfortable. While Justin lays on his bed with his phone in his hand I go to take a shower. I probably stayed in longer than I should’ve – my fingers were like raisins.
‘Everything okay?’ Justin inquires as I curl up wordlessly next to him.
‘I just wanna lay with you.’
In a matter of hours, we would be back with Carter. I tried to replay Justin’s words in my head over and over, dying to believe it all.
I press send as I anxiously pace back and forth. Tonight Justin and I were going to have a supportive dinner with our parents before court tomorrow morning. Jeremy flew all the way from Canada to be here during our testimonies this week. I would be going tomorrow and Justin the day after. My dad left the kids with Isabelle as much as he hated to just to be here for me. Justin was supposed to land at LAX about two hours ago then come here so we could ride together to his mom’s. As grateful as I was for everyone’s support, the thought of sitting down for over an hour with everyone made me nervous. My parents were giving me sympathetic looks constantly, wondering if and when I would lose it. I just wanted the trial and Carter to be gone for good. I glance out the window looking for any one of Justin’s numerous cars. Nothing. A group of paparazzi have been camped outside the building for the last couple of days since the trial was coming up. Every time I would leave they’d shout the same questions towards me. How was I doing? As if they actually cared. As long as I gave them a half decent picture they could sell at the end of the day. How did I feel about Justin not being the father of Jayde’s baby? Ecstatic honestly, not that I’d ever tell them that.
Knock, Knock
Rocky rushes from his bed to run to the door as he always did. Justin stands there holding a bouquet of flowers in his grasp. Once he hands over the flowers he lifts Rocky up into the air, scratching his back in the process.
‘So sorry I’m late, I stopped to get these.’
‘They’re beautiful, thank you. How was the flight?’ I inquire as he follows me into the kitchen.
‘Long, I didn’t get much sleep last night after the show. After dinner do you want to come over to the house with me so we can just ride to court together?’
‘I’d love that.’
Justin’s Point of View
Chrissy and I walk through her apartment’s lobby where the group of paps waited across the street. I grumble to myself, tightening the grip I had on her waist carefully holding Rocky in my free arm. I hated how they annoyingly hovered over her like vultures. She holds onto my arm, using her fingers to draw along my tattoos. Her doorman and her exchange good evening’s as we get into my car. The flashes from their bulky cameras fail to penetrate the dark tint on the windows. Rocky growls lowly from the backseat, feeling protective over us, Chrissy’s mostly of course. A typical momma’s boy. While we were stuck at the light, I admire her silently as the small black box burned in my pocket. I didn’t know when and how I would ask the second time around but I knew that I was doing everything right this time. Tonight sometime during dinner I was gonna ask Chrissy’s parents for permission. I wasn’t even sure people still did that but I wanted every part of this to be perfect for her. To be worthy enough for her. I remember on our way back from Paris how I asked if she’d be open to spending the rest of her life with me. She told me to ask once all of this stuff with Carter was over. Since we were going to be watching him go away for the rest of his life before the end of this week, hopefully, what better time to ask.
‘What are you thinking about?’ she cuts into my thoughts staring at me attentively.
‘You.’ Was all I say once the light finally changes. ‘Like usual.’
I lead the way into my mom’s house where everyone was waiting. Her dad sat on the sofa beside her mom saying something I couldn’t quite decipher. I take a second to notice his appearance. His face was sunk in, most likely because of the weight lose from all the chemo. He was sporting a nice buzz cut, his dark hair slowly coming back. I remember Chrissy bawling into my clothes telling me how he only had ten months to live. He made it through those ten months and almost six more. The doctors and specialists all called it a miracle. I mean sure, he wasn’t out of the woods just yet because he does still have bad days but I’m glad Chrissy’s getting to spend time with him. I made a couple of calls to the hospital where he gets treated making sure his family wouldn’t have to worry about how they would pay all the expenses. His The doctor told him they had some kind of healthy donation this year allowing him to be one of the lucky patients getting their treatment prices taken care of. If I told Chrissy what I did she would probably insist on paying me back and that’s the last thing I want. I’d do anything in power for her, no questions asked.
‘There they are!’ he announces getting up to hug his daughter. ‘We were starving here.’
During dinner, I get plenty of questions about the tour so far and Chrissy gets asked about her latest sponsorship campaign. I anxiously waited to get them along and while eating I kept trying to figure out how to get them alone.
‘Hey Chris, could you let Rock out back really quick? He’s doing that circling thing.’ I point as Rocky who was in the process of begging for more chicken.
‘So lazy.’ She stifles out a laugh giving me a soft push, ‘come on Rocky.’
‘Can I talk to you two in the living room for a second, please?’ I immediately jump in, not knowing when she’d come back into the house.
As I follow them into the other room, my dad gives me a supportive nod while my mom smiles mouthing “good luck”. I had talked to both of them about it right around the time I wanted to look for a new engagement ring. The old one didn’t have too many good memories so I sold it wanting to start fresh. My parents loved Chrissy and approved immediately, I just hope hers do too.
‘I wanted to get you guys away from Chrissy because I wanted to ask for your blessings. I love your daughter so much and I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else. I can’t honestly. Will you give me the pleasure of your approval in asking her to spend the rest of her life with me.’ I wonder nervously pulling the ring from my pocket.
‘It’s so beautiful.’ Her mom gasps holding the velvet box in her hands, ‘I could never thank you enough for giving her someone to love this much. I would be lucky to have you as a son-in-law.’
‘Thank you ma’am.’
‘I know that I haven’t always been around for her as much as I could’ve been. With your help I got her back in my life and I’m grateful. I appreciate you involving me in something so big in her life. I’ve seen how much you guys care about each other. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see my little girl with someone special to her. Over the year or so since I’ve been back around I really see just how much she means to you. Like Veronica said, I’d be lucky to have you as a son-in-law.’ I could tell that both of them were getting choked up and after Chrissy’s dad mini speech I kind of was too. He extends a hand out to me, giving me a firm shake and a pat on her back.
Rocky runs through the kitchen and into his bed by the door. I could hear Chrissy talking to my mom about something, her voice close. Her mom wipes her eyes repeatedly trying to hide her excitement. I clear my throat pushing the box back into my pocket going to meet her in the kitchen.
‘There you are. I thought you disappeared on me.’
‘You won’t get rid of me that easily.’ I wrap my arms around her tightly.
Chrissy’s Point of View
After sitting around with our families for awhile longer we were on our way back to my apartment. He watches silently and patiently as I dig through my closet for something to wear for the morning.
‘I think the first dress was perfect honestly,’ he calls as I kick out of the fourth dress.
‘It felt like I was suffocating.’
‘Come here, Chris.’ He pats a space on his leg, extending an arm out to me, ‘You know, I don’t think this is about the clothes. Could it maybe be about something bigger? Like, seeing Carter for the first time in months?’
‘Why do I have to go first?’ I mutter leaning my head on his chest.
‘I know that you’re scared and that’s okay. I’m scared too but I promise you that everything will be okay. He can’t hurt us, not this time. We just have to deal with him for this week and he’ll be gone for good. I can’t tell you enough of how brave you are or how proud of you I am. You have dealt with nearly everything – you can do this. I have so much faith in you.’
‘I love you.’
‘I love you too.’
I get dressed before following Justin out of the apartment. Rocky leaps into the backseat, shuffling around until he can get comfortable. While Justin lays on his bed with his phone in his hand I go to take a shower. I probably stayed in longer than I should’ve – my fingers were like raisins.
‘Everything okay?’ Justin inquires as I curl up wordlessly next to him.
‘I just wanna lay with you.’
In a matter of hours, we would be back with Carter. I tried to replay Justin’s words in my head over and over, dying to believe it all.