Second Heartbeat

“Go away.” I grumbled when I heard the doors I had just all but run through open again.

“No.”

I stopped pacing at the sound of Zacky’s voice but I didn’t turn around, I couldn’t. I had just made a fool out of myself in front of him, in front of everyone. “Please just leave me alone.” I hated the way my voice broke giving away the fact I had been crying.

Zacky’s rough hands were suddenly on my arms, rubbing them up and down. “Is that really
what you want?” His breath was warm, stirring the hair around my ear as it washed over it.

Chills raced down my spine as goose bumps covered my flesh, neither of them having anything to do with me being cold and everything to do with the man standing behind me. Did I want him to go? No. I wanted things I had given up, things I hadn’t thought about in years. “No.” I whispered the truth knowing I should lie.

Zacky spun me around and before I could say anything his lips were on mine. Our tongue’s dueled for supremacy as we tried to devour each other. There was nothing gentle about this kiss, it was rough, full of passion and longing.

I could taste the Jack on his tongue and knew I should pull away that neither of us were thinking clearly but I didn’t. Instead I pressed into him, wanting, no needing, to be as close as possible. He groaned as my fingers found their way into his short black hair and pulled. His hands found their way to my ass, and he pulled me even closer to him. We both moaned as our bodies collided, the evidence of his arousal coming into direct contact with my aching core.

He backed us against a wall, out of the direct sight of others. I whimpered when his mouth left mine, only to be quickly forgotten as they trailed a scorching path down my neck. “Zacky.” His name came out sounding like a plea. I needed him so badly I couldn’t think straight. I rolled my hips against his, unable to keep still under him.

Zacky groaned against my flesh and the sound alone almost made me moan. “We need to get out of here now.”

“I’ve got a room.” My voice came out sounding all breathy and needy. I hated to admit it but it matched exactly how I was feeling.

His eyes darkened as I pulled out my room key. This had been the place I was going to be staying at before Dani had kidnapped me to her house. Zacky kissed me deeply yet again stealing away any thoughts I was having before grabbing my hand and leading me to the elevators.

His hands roamed my body as his mouth devoured my neck from behind. I rolled my hips back into him wishing the damn elevator would hurry up and get here already. As soon as the doors opened we were all but running into it. The elevator was against my back, my legs were securely around his waist as I tried to get him out of his damn suit.

I moaned as his hands went under my dress cupping the flesh of my ass, kneading it as he rocked his hips into me. His shirt was about halfway unbuttoned when the elevator dinged letting us know we had reached our floor. Zack didn’t bother putting me down, just carried me with my legs around his waist to my room.

Once inside the room it was a race to see who could get undressed quicker. Clothing went flying as we made our way back to the bedroom. I got the extreme pleasure of watching him finish undressing as I lay there waiting for him. He had gotten a ton more tattoos and had lost his baby weight, but he was still my Zacky. I suddenly felt like the seventeen year old girl head over heels in love like I once had been.

As Zacky sank into me I suddenly felt whole. Like the piece of me that had been missing all these years was finally returned. My heart took to flight as my soul rejoiced. How could I have turned him away? How could I have denied us both of this love? For I did love him, a fact I would tell him several times this night.

--

I woke up the next morning feeling better than I had in months. I was whole and happy again. I laid there smiling thinking about Zacky. Last night had been amazing to say the least. The boy had certainly gotten even better with time. I rolled over expecting to find Zacky, only to find nothing. I opened my eyes and found him dressing in the corner. From the looks of it he had already gotten a shower.

I was frowning when he turned around. “Oh..you’re up.”

He didn’t sound happy. “You were trying to leave before that happened?”

“No.” Is what his mouth said but the guilt in his eyes gave his true answer away. He had indeed been trying to leave before I woke up.

I sat up, pulling the sheet around my naked body as I did so. “Don’t fucking lie to me Baker.”

“It’s just. I wanted to avoid this.” He said motioning between the two of us.

“What’s this?” I asked ice already settling into my heart at the look on his face.

He sat down on the chair so he could put on his shoes. “The awkward morning after a drunken hook up talk.”

My heart fell. I was a drunken hook up? Why had I even hoped for anything else? “Then don’t do it. Just leave.”

“Fuck.” He ran his hand over his face. “Kinz I’m sorry. I was just really drunk and seeing you
again…”

I held my hand up stopping him from saying anything that could break my already damaged heart more. “Really please just stop. We’re both adults, we know what this was. No need to apologize. We’re cool.” We weren’t. Part of me was dying inside but I ignored it.

Zacky’s face lit up. I was letting him off the hook and he knew it. “You mean it?” His voice was still reserved like he wasn’t exactly ready to believe it. Which guessing how many times I’m sure he had this talk before wasn’t surprising. I suddenly wanted to be sick. I was just another girl he fucked and left, just like all the backstage whores that had come after me.

I swallowed down bile and forced a fake smile. “Yeah. Now get out of here before someone sees you.”

His face paled. “Oh shit. What the fuck are we going to tell the guys. I can’t have this getting back to Gena.”

Just twist the knife a little deeper why don’t you Zack? “The truth. That you helped me up to my room and then caught a cab home. We’ll just leave out the sex part.”

Zacky walked over to where his jacket was lying and picked it up. He looked at me for a long second without saying anything. I hated the gentle look in his eyes, the one that made my stupid heart think that maybe he still felt something. Like this had been more than just a drunken mistake. “It really was good to see you again Kinzi and thanks.”

He left then, left me sitting alone naked in a bed of mistakes and heart ache. I forced myself up out of the bed and into the shower. I needed to get cleaned up and change my flight. I called Dani and blamed my premature departure on a frantic call from my boss. She wasn’t happy but she bought it, after I promised to come back and visit soon. Of course I wasn’t going to, but I figured I was already going to hell for sleeping with someone else’s man so why not add lying to one of my best friends? But I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to stay in California another night. Part of me realized the irony of what was happening. I was running away again, only this time I hadn’t pushed him away. No this time it was his turn to do the pushing, only difference is he wasn’t aware of what he was doing or hurting the way I was this time around.

One of these days I would learn nothing good comes out of my time spent in California.