Sharpen Your Teeth and Bite as Hard as You Want

Jamie's POV

I goofed around with all the members of PTV for the next few hours. We even watched a movie. It was a good day, and I'm really sad it had to end. When we got to the next gas station stop, I climbed off the bus, still wearing Tony's clothes, and carrying all my stuff. Joel was waiting by OM&M's bus with his arms crossed. He wasn't too happy to see me.

He hasn't been at all lately.

I said bye to the PTV boys and walked with my head down to Joel.

"Who's clothes are you wearing?" I heard him ask as soon as I neared him.

"Tony's." I said, walking past him and onto the bus.

I laid my stuff in his bunk and walked towards the back room. He followed and shut the door behind him. I sat on the floor with my legs crossed, still not making any eye contact with Joel.

"So you're on IAU." he stated.

I just nodded my head, hoping he would get the hint that I didn't want to talk about it.

"I didn't know you were sending nudes to other guys."

"Oh seriously Joel?!" I snapped.

I finally look at him, and his face held shock. Like he thinks I won't lash out at him when he's being ridiculous.

"I sent those to someone before we even knew each other." I said, furious.

"How do I know that?"

"Did you not notice the hair color? or the lack of tattoos? Because I'm pretty sure I can't erase those from a picture, Joel." I said, crossing my arms.

I can't believe this is actually happening.

"And besides, you have no room to talk. You were on their multiple times, but I don't get mad at you."

"I also wasn't accused of cheating on you in the comments."

I gave him a hard stare. He was actually serious right now. This isn't about the pictures anymore, no. This is about the comments involving Tony.

"You're really going to believe that? Okay, Joel, you've got some serious issues that you need to work out with yourself. And once you're done accusing me of cheating, you can come talk to me. Okay?"

I stood up to leave, but as soon as I reached the door, I felt a hard grip on my arm. I held back the tears that threatened to spill and turned to look at him. He gave me a pained look and softened his grip when he noticed my tears.

"I'm sorry." was all he said.

I closed my eyes and let the tears escape. I shook my head and reached for his hands. I pulled him closer to me and kissed him with whatever energy I had left.

And I still got nothing.

I pulled back and opened my eyes. Tears were sliding down my face at an alarming rate, but I couldn't stop. I had to end this. I noticed tears well up in Joel's eyes because he knew what was coming.

"I can't do this anymore, Joel. I can't stay with you if I'm not happy. You're the most amazing person I've ever met, and you're...you're beautiful," I paused, putting my hand on his cheek, "but I'm not right for you, and you're not right for me. All we do is fight and argue. I'm sorry, Joel, but I can't fall in love with you....not if it's going to be like this."

He started crying softly. I couldn't stand to break his heart, but I couldn't live like this anymore. Starting today, I was changing my life.

"But, baby, I can change." he whimpered.

His voice cracked along with my heart.

"I don't want you to change, Joel. You're perfect as you are."

I dropped his hands and walked out the door. I climbed off the bus and immediately saw Vic. I ran to him and called out his name. He turned and his smile turned to a frown. He opened his arms when I got close and pulled me into a tight hug. He rubbed my back and let me cry. I know I must have looked silly, but I didn't care.

"Come on. The buses are leaving." he whispered and took my hand.

I let him pull me onto the bus and he told me to sit on the couch. He then got me a blanket, a pillow, and a box of tissues and sat beside me. I pulled the blanket around me and grabbed the tissues, immediately tearing into them and wiping my face. He put the pillow in his lap, and I laid my head down. He rubbed my back as I sobbed into the pillow.

"Whenever you're ready to talk. No rush." he said.

I let every tear out of my body at that point. None were held back, and all my mind could focus on was the sound of Tony's voice in the background. He stayed in the lounge with Vic and me and listened to me sob as well. They whispered to each other about what was going on and how sad they were to see me like this. My crying settled down and I was finally able to speak.

"I broke up with Joel." I said all stuffy.

Neither one of them said a word. Vic paused on rubbing my back for a second but then went right back to it. Neither one of them said it, but I knew they were thinking it.

They both saw it coming.