I Must Be Blind, to Not Have Seen the Signs

When I awoke the next morning I felt a light weight pressing down on me. I cracked my eyes open and saw pip was actually lying almost completely on top of me like I was a second mattress. Her face was nestled in the crook of my neck and her breath was hitting my shoulder with each one she took.

I couldn’t help the smile that took over my face. I mean was this really happening? I tightened my grip around her and rolled us so we were now lying side by side. She just held onto me tighter and mumbled something before breathing steadily again.

It would be so easy for me to dip my head and kiss those beautiful lips of hers. I mean they were only a few inches from my own and I wanted to do it so badly.

I couldn’t though, the thought of her waking up and kicking me out for taking advantage of her made my tummy turn. Instead I brushed some hair out of her face and started to whisper in her ear.

“Pip? Pip love you need to wake up”

She stirred lightly but went back to sleep, so I rubbed her side and kept telling her to wake up and eventually she opened her eyes.

“Morning sweetheart” I chuckled and she just smiled sleepily. “Listen, I gotta get up, got some band stuff to sort out today, you stay here though, sleep off that hangover you no doubt have”

She groaned lightly but pulled her arms away from mine and stuck her face into the pillow. I felt cold now I wasn’t holding her to me so I quickly got up and pulled my clothes on from the night before sitting back on the bed. She moved her head so she was looking at me and then sat up ever so carefully. Her face was scrunched and when she finally sat up she placed her hand to her head.

“I’m gonna kill you” she whispered and I chuckled before closing the small gap between us and kissing her cheek.

“I’ll let you kill me later yeah?”

“I guess” she huffed. “So what band stuff have you got to do, or is it top secret?” she winked

“Just a meeting with management. If I’m being honest I don’t even know what it’s about. But I’m gonna be late if I don’t get going now” I said looking over at the clock by the side of her bed. I leaned over and kissed her cheek once more before getting up. “I’ll call you late love”

“Bye josh” I heard her call as I left the room. Once I left I got home as quickly as I could before having a shower and getting changed quickly and then going to managements head office.

The lad’s were already gathered in the reception, and I made it with a minute to spare. I was never usually this late so they were all bombarding me with questions to as to why I’d been late but thankfully someone told us we could go up.

The meeting was a total bore. I couldn’t concentrate on what anyone was saying because all I could think about was the feeling of Pip’s skin on my own. If felt myself blush and max who was sitting opposite me kicked me under the table and gave me a look that asked what the hell I was doing, so I shook myself out of it and listened to what was going on.

The meeting lasted until lunch and when it was done max and matt said they had stuff to do so Chris, Dan and I went to the nearest pub where they proceeded to grill me about where I was this morning.

“I stayed round Pip’s last night and I left her a little late this morning, that’s all” I said trying to make it sound like nothing, but I could feel the heat rising to my face and I looked down.

“Oi oi mate” Chris laughed “and why were you at hers?”

“We went out for dinner last night and she got a bit drunk and asked me to stay. That’s all”

“You sure nothing else happened?” dan said suggestively and I just shook my head. “By the look on your face you seem like you wanted something to happen” he continued.

“Guys seriously drop it. I mean this is Pip were talking about. Our friend Pip”

“Yeah she’s our friend, but she’s not just a friend to you josh” dan said seriously. “You forget we know you better than you know yourself”

So they’d sussed me out. Fantastic.

“Fine” I huffed. “I like her, so what?”

“So what!? Dude why haven’t you told her?”

“Cause…” I said training off they just shook their heads at me. “Look I’d rather have her as a friend than tell her how I feel, her not feel the same and then mess everything up. I know it’s stupid but whatever”

“Stop being so scared man and go for it. I guarantee she won’t turn you down”

“And how do you know?”

“Um hello, my girlfriend is Pip’s best friend. I know things”

“You mean she told you?” I said, my heart now hammering steadily in my chest.

“Well technically I’m not supposed to know so I can’t tell you anything” he said with a smile and winked at me. I took that as a yes my heart sped up even more if that’s possible.

“But she told me herself, we’re just friends”

“Maybe she thinks’ you don’t like her in that way and is trying to protect her feeling’s like yours. Why don’t you just jump in the deep end and tell her. You’re both too stubborn for your own good I swear”

“I don’t know man” i trailed off, and they both just looked at me like i was mental.

“What’s not to know?” Chris exploded and it was weird to see the quiet guy i was used to show so much emotion. “You’ve liked her since you first set your eyes on her mate. I remember when i said to you to back off because she was with Henry and i thought you were jumping into things too quickly. But now’s your chance mate. Just go for it”

“Yeah if you don’t tell her, i will” Dan said so i just groaned and hit my face in my hands.

I hated it when they were right.

I decided then I was going to tell her how I felt. i had no idea how, but when it felt right and the moment arose then i would just spill it. If there was even a glimmer of hope that she might like me back then I’d go for it. If I failed then at least I tried.