Under The Sheets

I knew what I was doing was bad. I knew messing around with T.J was only going to end badly for the both of us, but I couldn't stop myself. I really liked him and he made me happy. He made me laugh and smile. Being with him was fun. I didn't have to worry about being "ladylike" and appropriate around him. He accepted me for exactly who I was. A neurotic, obsessive, disobedient, lost Swedish girl who just wanted to be loved.

I loved my dad, but whoever said that girls want to marry someone like their dad should be in therapy. I didn't want to marry anyone like my father. I didn't want someone who was and overbearing, anxious dictator. I wanted someone like T.J. Someone who I could have fun with, but still wanted what was best for me.

Right now what T.J thought was best for me was to be making out on the island counter in the kitchen. I didn't protest it much. I quite liked who I was when I was with him. We jolted upright when we heard the front door open. T.J lifted me up and pushed me towards the hallway that led to the bedrooms.

I ran to my room and got changed because I was going out for dinner with a girlfriend. I had scheduled an emergency dinner with one of my friends to talk about what was happening with T.J and I. I ran out of my room and through the kitchen, bidding the boys goodbye.

"Chris!" I called when I saw my friend Christina standing outside of a close by restaurant.

"E," She smiled, giving me a hug.

We sat down and Christina looked at me expectantly.

"I'm sleeping with Teej and I really like him," I sighed.

"And this is bad?" Christina asked.

"It's T.J! If I wasn't banned from American men, it's T.J. I can't expect a relationship from him," I replied. "You can't tie down a man like that. He needs to roam."

"He's not a wild animal, sweetie. He's a man," Christina laughed. "Show a little faith in him. Does he make you happy?"

"Incredibly," I sighed, nodding.

"Then just let it all happen," Christina shrugged. "Have a couple drinks, go home and see your man."

"My man," I smiled, liking the sound of that.

After a few drinks and some dinner I walked back to the apartment, finding T.J alone.

"Where's Bergie?" I asked, tossing my purse onto the kitchen counter.

"Out with that girl again," T.J replied, popping the top off of a beer. "How was dinner?"

"It was good," I nodded.

"Are you drunk?" T.J laughed, looking at me.

"Not quite," I smiled, playing with the end of my dress. "Hey. Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead," T.J nodded.

"How many women have you slept with?" I asked. I knew the question was a little out of line. We were fooling around, not dating. I just had to know what I was getting into. This type of relationship wasn't one I was particularly used to.

"What?" T.J asked, startled by my question.

"How many women have you slept with?" I repeated, losing a bit of confidence. I knew I stepped out of line.

"How many men have you slept with?" T.J asked.

"Three," I replied quickly. "Not including you."

"You've only slept with four men?" T.J asked.

"I've got trust issues," I shrugged. "I don't just toss it at anyone."

"Good to know," T.J muttered, sipping at his beer awkwardly. I knew he didn't want to tell me how many women he'd slept with. I knew it wouldn't be a small number. I wasn't so naive that I would think it would be a small number. T.J was a gorgeous man with a great personality. Of course he'd slept with a lot of women.

I let it go and went to go and change for bed. T.J came in a few minutes later leaning against the doorframe.

"Could I sleep in here with you tonight?" He asked, his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Sure," I nodded. I crawled in bed and watched him talk off his hat, pants, and shirt then climbing in bed with me.

I cuddled back against him as he wrapped his arms around him.

"It's not a small number," T.J whispered a little while later. "It's not necessarily one that I'm proud of."

"I won't judge you," I replied.

"I won't tell you the exact number," T.J stated. "But it's higher than 20."

I nodded. My heart skipped a couple of beats. He was so experienced and I was so not.

"I have no diseases," T.J assured me. "Never got anyone pregnant. Not that they've told me at least."

I let out a small sigh of relief. Somehow that was a bit of a comfort. I closed my eyes and let him hold me. We were different, but we fit. I focused on that. I felt closer to T.J in that moment. I didn't know it right then, but feeling closer to him was the worst thing that could've happened. From that moment we moved from being an occasional hook-up to something more.